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I don't want to exist any more... I'm a failure... Why do I feel like this?

+1 vote
272 views
asked May 8, 2015 by anonymous  
Everything i've done since my dad died has ended up in failure. I graduated college with a low gpa and can't get a good job just stupid Wal-Mart. I don't want to be like this. Why do I struggle so much to be alive. I wish I could just end this and let someone else live a good life. I feel like a waste of space. I wish I could have died and not my dad. I wish I was the one that got really sick so my dad could be here with my siblings and mom. I feel like I shouldve been the one. i have nothing while my dad had everything.
    

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6 Answers

0 votes
answered May 8, 2015 by anonymous  
Chances are you need affection and you need to find a different hobby or talent. As much as you love him and want to remember him. Find something that doesn't remind you of him. Once you get a new hobby you will be much happier. Also you are wrong about you having nothing. You have just as much as your dad did. You have two eyes a nose two ears a mom and a brother even though he called your brother his son. Try to find positive things in your life i understand its hard because i am very pessimistic due to emotional abuse by my family. Everybody says there are only three things you need in life, but they are wrong. You need food,water,shelter and love.
STAY STRONG!!!!
You are still alive for a reason. The reason your dad died is because God needed another angel.
God chose your dad for a reason. If he didn't think you could get through it he wouldn't have chosen him.
0 votes
Profile Photo answered May 8, 2015 by southeastangel ANGEL3000+ (3,310 points)   2 10
You lost your dad and graduated, that's not failing, you may not have got the grade you wanted but you got a grade. See the achievement in just  getting the grade.
Just stupid wall-mart have a management network you know, work hard and get into a high position, nothing good comes without hard work.
Stick in at work, work hard, what have you got to loose to progress up the management ladder, earn your career within the company, it could be a really good job it just depends on your attitude. Can you see yourself in management?
Great stepping stone for the next job if it really really isn't your thing, look at the unemployment in your area and see the achievement of even having a job.
We are all just getting through life, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, who knows what's round the corner.
Im sorry your dad passed.
Sounds like your grieving for your dad, a massive loss in your life like that leaves you feeling hollow and low, in time the hole will start to fill with good memories.
Have you allowed yourself to grieve? have you talked to anyone? it really helps to talk. Talk to your mum? Can you all talk freely about your dad?
Take a look on line about grief and grieving , your not alone and all the negative thoughts your having about yourself and your life are not unique or funnily unnatural, it could really help put you back on track to get some help.
Your dad would be proud of you im sure for taking care of your mum and siblings and holding down a job, our parents are programed to love us no matter what, you got an education, job, family and the ability to re take your tests if you choose to in the future but for now don't be harsh on yourself. Just get through day by day, don't be in a rush to judge yourself so quickly.
Your dad may have had everything but he wasn't born that way, he had to work hard and learn adapt and change through out all his years on earth, just like you will in your lifetime.
You are not a failure your human xx
0 votes
Profile Photo answered May 9, 2015 by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (190,970 points)   6 7 12
Greetings anonymous... try to click on the URL that will surely heal your mind, body & soul...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNc6NuoBxzM  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqtwZWvXux8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPAZbD6fG0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdJddXduWjs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfz9JTyFVxo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAC7mHjdzRU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IActLJH8xHs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8RmJlwwa0g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oljdd9BGrFc

http://www.cbn.com/tv/1418876102001

http://www.cbn.com/tv/1418846102001

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0 votes
answered Jan 8 by anonymous  
Going to give it to you straight: Social comparison is useless, that will get you nowhere. There are a lot of people not graduating... there are a lot of people who work at Wallmart with pride, there are students with high GPA that feel useless or are very successful at some company. All these people are not you! So why care?

It's time to place yourself in the centre of your life. Try to set a goal for yourself because it matters to you, not because you would look cool achieving it!
0 votes
answered Jan 8 by Pepe  
Depression is a mean disease that makes you see  everything as bad.  I am seating here thinking "this dude has a college degree - that is something to be proud of,  low GPA be ******!"   And then I think "Working at Walmart is not that bad - you can do a lot with that if you just look at it the right way".  So what I am trying to say is - you can look at what you have in a different way - I now it may not seem easy - and have fun building a future from there.  If I were your Dad that is what I would be desperately trying to convince you to do.   I am sure that is what would honor the memory of your father best.   Wishing you were the one that got sick will not change anything - it was his turn - try to accept it.  Live each day at a time,  things will get better.  

Pepe
0 votes
answered Jan 9 by anonymous  
Hi,

I've struggled with depression, including suicidal thoughts, and there's been a lot of improvement for me. I've been taking anti-depressant medications. Also I've been doing the 12 Steps of Emotions Anonymous. Part of my continued healing is that I share with others the solution. The 12 Steps of EA are:

1: We admitted we were powerless over our emotions--that our lives had become unmanageable.
2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7: We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9: We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
And there's an additional principle of recovery: We offered forgiveness to those who had hurt us.

Emotions Anonymous, a fellowship of people recovering from emotional problems like anxiety, depression and anger.
http://www.emotionsanonymous.org

My story can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EysSD4rGew

I’ve also been involved with a fellowship called Celebrate Recovery, a fellowship of people recovering from all kinds of hurts, hang-ups and habits. To find a group:
http://locator.crgroups.info

Thanks for reading this.

May peace be with you,
Anonymous

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