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I feel as though ever since this has happened many things in my life have gone down hill. I'm constantly entertaining the thought of suicide. What really makes it bad for me is I've lost so much through my reactions to what they did such as my job and friends. I've never been one to let people walk on me but when it seems like I should just forget the both of them I can't. This happened three months ago. I feel like people think i'm a psycho for even thinking about it. What really drives me nuts is that the two of them went on living there normal lives afterwords and don't understand the kind of **** I deal with day to day. I want to make them understand. I want to cause my friend pain and eventually death. I'm normally not this type of person though. I've always been a kind caring guy and would do anything for anyone but I feel like I've been pushed too far. Drugs did the trick for a while until I realized I need to quit and get a job...what do I do.
Country: USA
    

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3 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 35
Hi,

Hurt is a terrible thing when it hits you like this, it changes you as a person. Yes I do feel your pain as I have been in a similar situation and felt like you, but that was 10 years ago and now I find it difficult to see what I was in love with all those years ago.

I know this doesn't help how your feeling at the moment, but just wanted to tell you how our minds change.

Right now you feel quite low and , it sound as though you may have reacted quite strongly to the situation by the sound of things, and I can understand that. All you do is play in to their hands, the best way to hit back is act as though they did you a favorer, and your not bothered, (I know you are bothered, but don't let them know that.)

When you said "I'm normally not this type of person" I believe you, it's the hurt that has brought the monster inside you out. Hurt is the food of this monster, you need to starve this monster that is not you, of hurt.
T
hen you can get back to being the nice guy you were.

You sound a sensible guy, realizing drugs or any other false answer to this is not getting you anywhere.

What you have to do is get yourself a punch bag and write the names on it and punch hell out of it, then walk away and get back to being that nice guy, this world needs more nice guys please.

If you want to talk more with me, I am here, and I care about what you are going though. ...Angel Faith

0 votes
Profile Photo by Polchies ANGEL3000+ (3.8k points)   1 3 4
What you are feeling is perfectly normal in this situation. And although you are feeling angry, what you are really feeling is hurt and resentment, which are completly different from anger and rage. You are hurt because the two people you relied on and trusted the most are both now the main reason for your pain and that in itself is enough to push anyone to their limits. Normally you would turn to your bestfriend in a time like this, however he is now a part of the problem and not only does this leave you hurt, it also has left you feeling alone because you feel like everyone you depended on has now hurt and abandoned you.  You have every right to feel hurt and upset because of the situation and the circumstances surrounding it.

 

 However, that being said, you also have to allow yourself to move on. The longer you allow yourself to hang on to the hurt and the disappointment the longer you keep yourself from being able to move on and find happiness again.

 

 You say that what hurts the most is that both your fiancee and your bestfriend have moved on with their lives like nothing ever happened and that you are left feeling the way you do. This is reasonable and understandable, however, the frustration and resentment you are feeling from allowing yourself this torture is also fueling your feelings.  The longer you let yourself linger on these feelings and what has happened, the longer you give the ones who hurt you the power over you. What I am about to say is not meant to make you feel any worse then you already do, it is to help bring you into the light of the reality of your situation. Your fiancee and your bestfriend cheated. This is a fact. Neither had the respect for you or your relationship with them when the indiscretion happened. They weren't thinking about you or how it would hurt you when they were doing what they did. So, what would lead you to believe that either of them would put their lives on hold now to feel bad for you and take into consideration how they have left you feeling? You are giving both of them the benefit of the doubt that they will come to the realization of what their actions did to you and let's face it, the chances of this happening after 3 months is slim to none. The reason why you feel a more intense hurt and seemingly known hatred when you think about this is because you are allowing yourself to believe that maybe they will understand how hurt you are and they will feel as badly as you do, which probably won't happen. The quicker you come to terms with this fact the quicker you can begin to heal and move on.

 

 You need to let go and just wake up in the morning and decide to  yourself that you aren't going to give these people the power to control you or your life or make you feel like this anymore. It is an inner decision that you and only you can make and only when you are truly ready to move on.

 

 You have the right and ability to be happy again and not to allow this to permanantly affect your life. Your fiance and your bestfriend have moved on with their lives and you have the right to do the same. The love you had given her can now be given to someone who justly deserves your love and who returns it. Wanting to hurt them is once again giving them the power to run and control your life and you don't want them having this power over you.  You can find a way to move past this and not concern yourself. You just have to make a sound and personal choice that you have been hurt long enough and that this situation has taken up enough of your time and energy and that you have the right to be happy and go on with life.

 

 I am here to help any way that I can, but, until you are truly ready to move on from this situation noone can help you. You will only truly be ready to recieve advice and start to move on when you are ready. It is up to you when that day is.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (279k points)   7 7 12
THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too -

http://www1.cbn.com/content/flying-house-episode-5

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from in every evil spell abndbh enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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