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+1 vote
Profile Photo by nally (130 points)   1 2
I have never felt as hopeless, useless, ashamed, embarrassed or unworthy as I do right now. Without going into specifics (there are legal issues pending), I lost everything I had in June of this year. My career, my business, my children, my home, my reputation, my identify... all gone overnight. And all because an employee whom I trusted was doing things I didn't know about. Now, I have no money (I had no savings after investing everything I had into my business), no home and no reason (other than my children) to continue fighting. That probably sounds horrible, like my children aren't worth living for. I didn't mean it like that. I just can't help but wonder if they would be better off without me. Without the humiliation of seeing me sink further and further. I love them more than anything in the world, but I no longer have anything to offer them. I have gone to inpatient treatment for depression and am currently seeing an outpatient therapist,  but I don't seem to be getting better. I can't find a job because of the pending charges. My home is in foreclosure but I can't live there because I can't pay the electric or water. I've tried to get help from my county but there is no available funding. I was extremely good at my job and devoted myself to my job and my kids. Now, I'm sitting in my car on the side of the road, with no where to go and no money. Sleeping in my car is preferable to the homeless shelters in our area, so I have checked them out. I can't support myself like this, let alone my children. Not that the court would even allow me to regain primary custody with these charges still pending. I miss them SO much. I miss my life. I miss being a productive member of society. I was respected. Now forgotten. My life is in shambles and I am unable to move forward. I'm stuck. I have no idea what to do. My cell phone is even due to get cut off any day. Please help me! I would love to know that there is hope. That someone has been through something similar and is now OK. That I'm not alone.
Country: usa
related to an answer for: HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS MESS I AM IN

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4 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 36
Hi again. I did answer your last message. I see things are still not good at the moment for you.
 Some years ago now, I was in a successful business and then I employed someone who set out to destroy me and my business,to cut a long story short he did just that.
While he was destroying me he was setting himself up to take over all my contacts in his new business.
I lost my house and almost everything else. But I feel you are a fighter as I was. Yes for a while I wasn't  unable to do much, and had to go with the flow of sorting out the mess, but I did, and not only that built up a business again, never as big as before because I didn't trust anyone to employ them, so I stayed in a small way, but was happy working for myself.
I have told you this because I want you to see that this is not the end for you. You have to face what is coming but be strong and hold your head up, and you will get through.
Have you tried to get help from the church ?
You are going to feel as you do that's human nature, you sound like you are a proud man.
And your children who love you are your reason to fight on, don't back down, stand up tall and deal with the trials you face. 
You can message back and talk with me if you wish. Talking to someone will help you. and I do care.....Angel Faith
Profile Photo by nally (130 points)   1 2
I greatly appreciate your reply. While I am very sorry for what you have been through, I'm glad to know you made it out OK. I believe I may have used a similar name as someone else, because I'm female and that was my first post. I'm very sorry for the confusion. Unfortunately, the legal proceedings are against me, as it was my business and the person responsible shifted the blame. I hope to come out of that OK, but should something occur that I can not disprove, or if I have wasted my life on something I can never regain, what then? I am completely in despair right now, with nothing to hold on to. My children and my business were my life. I have no friends, as I spent all my time on the two. I walk around like a zombie and feel as if I have nothing to live for. I just need something, anything, some little good thing to happen, and perhaps I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Currently, I have court dates, custody hearings, debtor's, and bankruptcy to look forward to. Of course, the bankruptcy depends on my ability to get a job and pay the 3k it will take to file! I am not a bad person and I genuinely cared about those I treated. I only wanted to make a difference. To help others in need. Now, I'm the one in need and because I devoted my life to helping others, there's no one around to help me. My poor children have had their lives turned upside down because of all this. I wanted the best for them and they got the worst. They are currently living w their father, who has had temporary custody of them for the past three months. I am just clueless as to how I can face them. Face those that trusted me and depended on me. Regardless of the outcome of the legal proceedings, my reputation is ruined. I'm scared, confused, lonely and quite frankly, wouldn't care if a semi ran me over sitting here...
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 36
Hi, there has been some confusion here with another message with the same name. I am sorry about that.

At leased you know that what you are facing there are others facing similar. You must not feel guilty over this as it is clear to me that you have been set up, you are obviously a career and something went wrong.

I feel for you as I can see that it was your life. But don't give up on hope,   
OK it would seem at the moment everything is against you, but stick with it and tell the truth.
The work you did by helping others in need  shows me the you are a good person. I would like to know more about you.
What you have to do is keep your head up, you know your children love you even if they may be being told other things at the moment. When you do see them, tell them how you love them and you will make things work out right again. And whatever the outcome of that meeting, and whatever is said at that moment, remember that they are your children and they do love you.

Look, I know you don't know us angels here, but we do care about you and if you want to talk more with us get back to us. Angel 2012 is a very knowledgeable Angel and has suggested chatting via private messaging.
I think that could be a good idea for you. Please feel free to chat with me also. That's what we are here for.......Angel Faith
+1 vote
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59
There is a point to all this you just have not found it yet. Don't despair. Your children still need you. You may not be able to give them anything financially but you can give them your wisdom and life experience. Help them to never go through what you are currently facing. Show them too by example how to confront your problems and persevere. Don't lose hope. Find a good attorney and fight the charges. You may be really broke for a while and you may owe everyone money, but in the end you will rebuild. You will show everyone, including your children, that you are a fighter. It will make your children proud  of their father.

If you kill yourself, the last memory your children will have of you is of your humiliation and how you took the easy way out. As a daughter, no matter what my father has done he is still my father and I would hate to think that he felt so alone in this world tha he preferred to kill himself than stay with us. I would be angry, as I am sure your kids will be, tha he did not think we were important enough for him to stick around; and I would feel guilty. Your kids will undoubtedly feel responsible in some way. Believe me, it is not the solution. You will only leave more misery and you will leave them with a tarnished image of yourself. Killing yourself will validate the charges against you, even if they are not true. Clear your name and hold your head up. Deal with the problem. I am not going to sugarcoat it and tell you that innocent people do not go to jail. They do. Our system is broken, but those who have gone have fought to clear their name. You may want to check out the innocence project. You may be able to find solace and support from others who have been wrongly convicted.

I am not sure what state you are in, but in many states they cannot deny employment simply because charges are pending. Of course, they can always give you another reason. However, if they have specifically told you this is why you were denied, you may want to also tell your attorney, as it may be employment discrimination depending on your state's employment law.

Everything except death has a solution. It will not be easy and I can completely understand the feeling of wanting to just end it. Take a breather- step back from the problem a little bit. Normally, I would say to talk to someone about it, but since you have pending charges anything you say even to a therapist may be discoverable. Talk to God. Pray about your situation and be completely honest with your attorney. He/she cannot fully help you unless you are. I can tell tha this consumes you day and night. Focus on your kids and let them be your strength to continue fighting. Good luck!
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59
Sorry I thought you were male. If you want to discuss your situation privately you can always send me a private message. Please don't list any names on here. Keep it anonymous. I will send you a friend request.
+1 vote
Profile Photo by HOPE ANGEL24K (65.9k points)   7 11 38
Dear Lostandbroken,

I want you know that there is HOPE!!

But before we get there, let's face the brutal reality first: it happened and you have lost many ... so they are "sunk cost" in the economic terms, which means that from this point on, all your decision should not be based on these entire past events.

Now try your best to clear them out of your mind - put them aside and behind. This help you calm down and think clearly.

Next, let's all explore solutions. Other angels here have already provided many of them, but I am sure there are more (which may not be revealed to you yet, or us since we don't know the details) - this is the HOPE.

BTW, have you try 211? Any family member can provide a better shelter than your car? You need good rest to make many coming important decisions.

Also, you have dedicated your life to your job and your kids. You WILL find a new job and your kids are always there waiting for you, needing you, and looking upon you as their role model. Therefore, giving up is NOT a solution here.

There is HOPE as long as you keep fighting for you and your kids!!

We all love you, believe in you, and will pray for you and your kids!!
0 votes
Hello, I can't really be of much help. But I can tell you from what you said this is not your fault. I mean you didn't say a whole lot. But it sounds like narcissistic abuse to me.  The employee was a narcissist very covert. I have lived through it. But it was family who did it to me. But I am living in a motel due to mother stealing my house from me.

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