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I am 16yrs old. I am a first year college student. I have a boyfriend since when I was in 3rd yr highschool. We just celebrated our anniversary last October 22. Our relationship is beyond perfect. Almost like a fairytail until one day, my father caught us together. Actually, for 2 years we've been hiding our relationship because I am not yet allowed to have one. Everything is going well with my life when.. this happened. My parents dont trust me anymore because this is not the first time I lied and betrayed them. I am not able to see my boyfriend anymore and I cant even go out to hang out with my friends. Im stock alone at home. Everyday they would nag at me and tells me that i am a very bad model to my younger sisters. I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO. NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR HOW I FEEL. I chat my friends but they dont answer me back anymore. They say that they are tired of my dramas already. I also overthink ALOT. Me and my boyfriend are still together even mu parents doesnt like him for me. We still have some communication but everytime he tells me he is going out with his friends i feel TERRIBLY PARANOID. LIke he'll gonna do something that will hurt me
Country: Philippines

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2 Answers

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Dear miss,
I don't know about you, but most people don't have peace in their life, even if they have a boyfriend.  I am sure that you don't want your parents nagging you because it is annoying to everyone.  I know that this is extremely hard, what you are going through, because I was 16 not too long ago, and I was having a hard time without your mess.  I was trying not to have a boy friend while being attracted to every guy, almost.  I succeeded barely.  I still don't have one. I had friends who did.  They were rather short relationships.
So a boyfriend is not the source of peace, though he is someone to talk to.  

Look, in Isaiah 57:20, God says, "But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt." Hey, I know this will get under your skin, but this is everybody.
1 John 3:4, "Whosoever commits sin transgresses also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law."
Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."
Psalms 9:17, "The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God."
Revelation 21:8, "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

No, this is not religion.  This is about reality, and that includes this.

Romans 5:7,8, "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commends his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

Who is Christ?  John 10:30, "I and my Father are one."  Which means if God is His father, Mary isn't God.  In fact Mary's last words in the Bible are in John 2:5, "His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it."  Acts 4:12, "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is no other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved."

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Ephesians 2:8,9, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."
Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

The reason why I said all that?  True peace is only given to His kids.  Hebrews 13:5, "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."  John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

So, I know you are 16, and wanted to be treated as an adult probably, so I hope you have read this.  It really helped me.
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Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59
You are 16 and I remember how that was ... You want to be treated like an adult, but you are not yet one. Don't rush. You sound like a very mature person. Talk to your parents. You understand why they do not trust. You lied and that has consequences. Tell them in a calm manner that you understand the need to be punished, and that you have learned your lesson. Let them know you don't want to go behind their back anymore. Tell them everything you have said here - that you want to earn their trust, and you do not want them to continue to make you feel bad.

As for the boyfriend, don't worry about it. You cannot control another person. He is going to do what he wants to do whether you can see him or not. If he really does love you, he will respect you and wait it out. If he ends up cheating on you or hurting you, then he was not worth your time, and you have no need for anyone like that in your life.

Love is not a bad thing. Your parents, however, I suspect, wanted you to avoid this very situation. You are so young that your self-confidence and self-perception are not fully developed yet. You are still unclear of who you are. In this situation, you are opening yourself up to heartache and unnecessary drama, as you have now experienced. They simply do not want you to get hurt. Perhaps, now that you have a boyfriend it may be more detrimental to keep you apart. But this is something you need to talk over with your parents. Come up with arguments and rules to ease their fears.

Your friends are probably less mature than you are or they have given you advice that went ignored and now just don't want to be involved. I can't say what the situation is but you can always come here and talk to us. I understand how you feel. You are experiencing your first love and it feels almost like a life or death situation. It is not. Take a deep breath. This is temporary. Even if you do not get your parents to change their minds, you will not live at home forever. You say you have sisters... do something fun with them if you are not allowed to be with your friends. I count my sisters among my best friends. I am sure your little sisters would love to spend time with you as well.

Don't worry too much. I am here if you want to talk and good luck. Hope this helped.

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