Need help, I'm very sick and disabled & my husband is neglecting me & im hungry and in pain

Question

I have to beg him just to get a cup of tea or toast, I wait for hours, sometimes days to get something to eat, then he half cooks it or has be so upset it makes me sicker. He keeps throwing away my clothing so I can't go anywhere. I don't have any friends, I'm isolated and have no one to help me. My spinal conditions are getting worse because of me trying to take care of myself. Idk what to do. Can't go to a woman's shelter, can't do steps and take care of myself, idk to end up in a nursing home. I don't believe in God anymore so please don't send me scripture. I used to have faith, but after 17 car accidents, Cancer 4X's, 7 house fires ( 4 growing up ) abused, coma's multiple illness's, identity theft, kidnapping & raped, molested, starved, lost all my income, ect... How can I believe in a God???

Answer 1

Mel,

It seems as if you and your husband need counseling.  How long have you been married?  Was your husband abusive early in your relationship?  If not, your husband is having a difficult time as well as you going through your situation.  What you are going through is also affecting your husband.  If your husband was abusive in the past, he has just increased the abuse.  

I would guess that you are very dependent on your husband due to your illness.  He is the breadwinner or you are receiving financial assistance.  

You have choices to make.  Your choice will affect your life no matter what you choose.  You choose to live as you have now, which is no life at all.  Or you choose to change the circumstances that you are in.  It could be living in a structured environment, women's shelter or group home.  How bad would being there be?  You will have the opportunity to make friends and get connections to better your life.  They will provide you resources to start your life new.  They won't be catering to you all the time since they have to take care of other people.  Don't get me wrong, it will be hard work.  Only YOU can take the step forward and only YOU can make the change.  Once you make a change, the world around you will change and so will you.  It is a cause and effect.

What is it that you want?  How much are you willing to work for it?  How much are you willing to give up?  How persistent are you?  How focused are you?  Do you easily give up when the going gets tough?  How bad do you want your circumstances to change?  Willing to do what it takes?

Since you have given up on God by not believing in Him anymore, you have given up on life.  God is life.  God is strength.  God is with you no matter what.  God will carry you through these difficult moments.  You write that you have "no one" and no friends.  If you don't have that, then who?  Who better than God to change your life?  God is your only choice.  Not only will you have to pray for Him to help you but YOU have to make things happen.  

At my lowest, God is my hope.
At my darkest, God is my light.
At my weakest, God is my strength.
At my saddest, God is my comforter.

You write that you can't do this and that.  YOU have decided to cut off any other options.  It wasn't God.  Well, it seems that you have given a lot of thought of what you can't do.  Why don't you think about the things you CAN do and the many opportunities it can bring?  Take that can't do attitude and make it a can do attitude.  Even if you start with small steps, you will eventually get there.  There is a saying by Lao -Tzu, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step."  

You had asked for a reason how you can believe in God.  Watch the video below and they will tell you why they believe in God.  If they believe in God, why not you?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G0Dzh3RZn0E

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnuGXvO_l8w

http://intouch.org/watch/when-we-dont-understand-why

You need to renew your faith in God and trust Him.  He is always there through good and bad.

Answer 2

Dear Mel,

I am so sorry, and I can't even to begin to comprehend what that is like. I personally can't do anything for you, but God can. You say you don't want scripture so I won't give you any, but He does love you even in all of this. Do you remember the story of Job?

I am praying for you. I ask that God will send you people who can help you, that He will give you unnatural healing physically and emotionally, that He will deliver you from abuse and fear, and that He will fix all the brokenness. I pray that He would renew your faith in Him and that you would be found again. I ask all of this in Jesus' name.

Answer 3

Greetings Mel... try to click on the URL that will surely heal your mind, body & soul...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqtwZWvXux8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNc6NuoBxzM  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPAZbD6fG0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdJddXduWjs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfz9JTyFVxo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAC7mHjdzRU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IActLJH8xHs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8RmJlwwa0g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oljdd9BGrFc

http://www.cbn.com/tv/1418876102001

http://www.cbn.com/tv/1418846102001

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Verses in the Holy Bible about healing:


Isaiah 41:10 ESV / 376 helpful votes

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Jeremiah 17:14 ESV / 314 helpful votes

Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.

1 Peter 2:24 ESV / 277 helpful votes

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

Jeremiah 33:6 ESV / 262 helpful votes

Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.

Isaiah 53:5 ESV / 251 helpful votes

But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

Psalm 103:2-4 ESV / 231 helpful votes

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

James 5:15 ESV / 209 helpful votes

And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

James 5:14 ESV / 150 helpful votes

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

James 5:16 ESV / 143 helpful votes

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

3 John 1:2 ESV / 126 helpful votes

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

Proverbs 17:22 ESV / 114 helpful votes

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Matthew 10:1 ESV / 111 helpful votes

And he called to him his twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction.

Psalm 147:3 ESV / 110 helpful votes

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Matthew 10:8 ESV / 107 helpful votes

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay.

Deuteronomy 7:15 ESV / 97 helpful votes

And the Lord will take away from you all sickness, and none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which you knew, will he inflict on you, but he will lay them on all who hate you.

Philippians 4:19 ESV / 86 helpful votes

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 41:3 ESV / 85 helpful votes

The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health.

Proverbs 4:20-22 ESV / 71 helpful votes

My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.

Answer 4

God watched all those things happen in your life, you must find strength within yourself to leave him.  Clear yourself of what cannot help you, and pull through from within by then being alone.  Left as helpless and seek help then.  From there you will begin to see new growth blossom.

Answer 5

First let me start off by saying how sorry I am that you are in this situation, both your illness as well as an abusive one. I am glad to know that you are reaching out for help, as so many others in your situation would not.

 May I suggest removing yourself from the situation. Your husband is neglecting and abusing you and as his wife he should be helping you in any way you may need. What he is doing is what is called "immobilization abuse". It is when he removes anything and everything and everyone for that matter that would aide in you being able to get away from him. It will normally start by him isolating you from your friends and family and in your case he may even refuse outside medical help, saying he will care for you himself because you are his wife. He will remove anyone who can help you or anyone who will be able to see what he is doing to you....anyone who is a potential threat to his abuse on you.

Secondly, he will start taking your belongings like your clothing, your shoes, even a wheelchair or crutches if you have them. That is so that he can almost ensure you cannot leave him because since you have no one else to help you or no one else is around, he is the only one present to help you. He will try to keep you as weak as possible by means of not feeding you or not properly feeding you, letting you become dehydrated, not administering your medication properly be it not giving you your medication, not giving you enough or giving you too much....any case which will keep you sick and dependent.

 My suggestion to you would be to report your situation. I understand being married to someone makes leaving very hard, and adding your medical condition on top of that only makes it harder, but, this man is abusing you and does not care. In a serious medical condition situation, you need to have people around you can depend on and this man is not one of those people.

 I wish you all the best.