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Ive been this way now for about 5 years and ive managed to overcome it myself, dont get me wrong ive been to the stage of almost ending my life but ive never succeeded. ive had a bad time with family, my family has nevered cared about me ever not even when i was slicing my wrists and legs open and my parents both knew about it. But about 10 months ago i met this boy and i fell for him hard and fast, he helped me overcome my demons especially with my family and friends he helped me see that someone can love me even if im a chunky girl, even if im covered in horrible scars, even if I'm screwed up in the head but recently he has turned into one of my exes who completely screwed me over, I've never been so afraid of losing someone before but the amount he has hurt me is ridiculous, so far everything he has said is like my ex and has been making me feel worse. But I'm scared that if i lose him what will happen? he is the only thing keeping me sane right now he is the only thing that im living for but it feels like everyone else is giving him attention while im trying to get my head sorted. i really dont know what to do and i dont know who to turn to, someone please help me ive never been desperate before and i just need a bit of support and help with trying to get rid of these suicidal thoughts. Because maybe just maybe he'd be better off without me just as my family would be.
Country: Swansea
    

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3 Answers

+1 vote
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Dear Kayleigh,

You did good in coming here. Please don't hurt yourself. I feel this way too sometimes, and what you need to know is that there is always someone who would care if you were gone. If you hurt yourself you will hurt them. Does this boy know that you feel this way, and does he know how you feel about him? It sounds like he loves you because he helped you before. Tell him that you love him and that you are afraid of losing him. Tell him that you are afraid of your thoughts and what you might do. If he really cares he will try to help you through it. If he doesn't, know that you still are not alone and your worth is not caught up in how he or your family thinks of you. You matter and you are beautiful. You need to forgive yourself for your scars. If you are really desperate call a hotline, or get a friend to call for you.

You say you have no one to turn to, but you always have God. He is always with you and He is always ready to listen. Ask Him for help. Know that He loves you no matter what you do. He made you and He thinks you are beautiful, and He wants you to be His daughter. Please come home to Him. I'm praying for you.
+1 vote
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Kayleigh:

Sorry to hear that you don't have a family that supports you.  Some of us have a "family" but we wouldn't call them a family anyway.  While others don't have a family at all.  

Know that God is waiting for you to ask Him to be part of your life.  He is a good listener.  God is understanding.  God loves you.  God cares about you.  God will help you through it.  Ask and He will find a way to help you.  

Learn to love yourself.  You have a lot to offer to others even if it is your beautiful smile, you helped someone, etc.  Once you accept that you are beautiful and you have things to offer to others, you will see how truly beautiful you are inside and out.  

(Oops!  I wrote something similar to Anonymous.  Anyway, it just shows that we both think you should pray to God and that you are beautiful.)

To you, we might appear to have everything going but we really don't.  We ALL have flaws or feel inadequate.  We have all suffered in one way or another.  You don't need someone to validate that you are beautiful and you are worthy.

http://www.intouch.org/watch/understanding-inadequacy/those-feelings-of-inadequacy

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe

She also said something like this, if they can't handle you during your worst, then they don't deserve you when you are at your best.

I OFFERED A PRAYER TO GOD

I asked for strength.
God gave me difficulties to make me
strong.

I asked for wisdom.
God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity.
God gave me brawn and brain to
work.

I asked for courage.
God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for patience.
God placed me in situations where I
was forced to wait.

I asked for love.
God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for favors.
God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed.

Trust God.


Romans 5:2-5 Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Mother Theresa  stated, "Sometimes people come into our lives as blessings.  Others come into our lives as lessons."  I think she would have told you this in your situation.

Go to the below video.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bfveawSAHJA

Remember that you are not alone.  God is with you.
0 votes
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edited
Kayleigh:

'Tis me again.  I just watched these awesome videos for the first time this morning.  I thought about you when I was watching and hearing it

https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLWvahZRxLnLMSWeULnub0CCeQzvxGM8hB&params=OAFIAVgI&v=-YbdaR7Plac&mode=NORMAL

Below is my favorite though.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=azYK8I2uoog

I hope these videos, like the last one I sent you, will help you through.

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