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I've had depression for many years and I can't cope anymore and just want to die. Ive lost my girls and have nothin left to loose. I just left everyone around me down and hurt everyone I can't even admit anything when I need to do what's the point .In being here I had my girls who have meant everything to me and now they are gone
Country: dorchester uk
    

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2 Answers

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Dear Nici,

I am so sorry. You need to tell someone you can trust. I know it's hard, I had to do it. I showed them a note on my phone because I couldn't talk. It was the best thing I could have done. There is always something more you could lose. You say you let everyone down and hurt them. How would killing yourself change that? Death never helps anyone. Think about your girls. Don't do what that did to you to someone else. Know that you are loved and you are here for a reason. I am praying for you, and that you will find joy.
+1 vote
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Nici,

Take this time that you are away from your daughters to reflect on yourself.  Focus on you.  I'm sure it is hard to be without your daughters since you've had them around a long time.  But take this opportunity to get yourself better by yourself.  Once you get better, the rest will fall into place.  

You mention that you have nothing to lose.  Well, you do.  You lose yourself.  As the other Angel stated, think about your children.  They are hurting too and if you commit suicide, it would only make them feel worse.  They might even blame themselves for your decision to commit suicide.  Don't let that be what they think of you.  What would your children say when someone asks about their mother?   

You mention that you let people down and hurt everyone.  How do you let people down?  Why do you think that way?  Is their point of view justified?  Have go said things and not followed through?  The more you try to be objective, the better that you will understand yourself and why people feel that you have let them down or hurt them.  Maybe it was a misunderstanding.  Sometimes we are well meaning but things could be misinterpreted.  

Pray that God will help you through this difficult time.  It does take time to heal.

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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911 ( 999, 112, 111, or ... ) OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.

If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Victims of Crime Connect (US) at 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846)
Boys Town (US) at 1-800-448-3000
Dial 211 (US) at 211
The Trevor Project (US) at 1-866-488-7386
GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
Visit Befrienders for other countries.

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