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Im 26 years of age and for the last year or so feel like I'm in a mid life crisis.  For so long all I've thought about when I'm down is to leave this world for the next.  For the first time today I attempted to overdose myself with a few over the counter meds and alcohol.  I prayed that I would fall asleep and never wake up.  I had written a suicide letter and left it in my pocket hoping all would go to plan.  Stupid as it seems, this is all over a person I loved and who once loved me.  Its messed up because one person can have a hold over me which is more powerful then I can imagine.  I've known so many people to take their life over a lost love or a bad relationship and thought how selfish are they to do such a thing over a person.  But fact is I can now see why they did it.  Thing is they were sucessful and I wasn't.  All day today I've been researching fast and effective ways to kill myself.  I dont see hanging as my ***** and would rather use drugs.  I dont know, I've always been one to write down my feels and express myself to help me get over the situation.  But I guess this time my thoughts have more power then my words.  I guess I just want the pain to stop, and suicide is the easiest way.  I know I'll be eternally ******, but I'd rather suffer 1000 deaths in hell, then to live a hell on earth and be alive
Country: New Zealand
    

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3 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by angel ANGEL7000+ (7.9k points)   3 5 15

You had been living on earth, his/her love made you feel you were living in heaven, and once you lost it, you came back to earth!

However, you have been giving this lost love more and more weight by telling yourself that it is the only purpose of your life and it is everything to you … it becomes so big and so heavy that it drags you to **** …

I hope you know that it is NOT everything to you, and you CAN find new love. Don’t let this destroy your self-esteem. You are so young, and I am sure you can find better partner in the near future. There is a bright future for you! A future on earth that you CAN control.

Someone is waiting to talk with you and help you. Please pick up the phone and call 0800 543 354

0 votes
Profile Photo by Polchies ANGEL3000+ (3.8k points)   1 3 4
You claim that you have always been one to write down your feelings and been able to express yourself through writing then why dont you do just that. Write a book or a blog about this experience, be as raw as possible (honest about the whole situation). There are other people out there who have or are coping with the same type of situation and they could use your experience to relate to their own. As with most people in your situation, you believe that you are alone in this and that there is no possible way that anyone could feel the way that you do right now, but, this is not true and every other person with this situation feels that exact same way. Maybe if you put your feelings and thoughts down on paper or in a blog and share your story with others, you may be able to help others in the same situation at the same time you can help yourself by letting go of the pent up feelings and getting them out there. Coping is so much easier when you have people around you who truly understand what you are going through.

 

 Trying to cope with a situation of the heart alone isn't the best plan because you talk yourself into wanting to be alone and most commonly find yourself backing away from others and isolating yourself for fear of hurt, rejection or abandonment. You begin to believe that this one person hurt you and now anyone who you introduce into your life is only going to do the same. You will put up barriers to keep people at a distance, never really letting a new partner totally into your life or heart for fear of being hurt again. The fear of being hurt or abandoned is a crippling idea and it makes us do things that otherwise we would think was wrong and never do. Rational choices and thoughts often take a backseat when matters of the heart are involved.

 

 As for you trying to harm or kill yourself over this girl, I cannot say in one way or another if she is worth the hurt you are  feeling or not because I don't know her, but, one thing I can say for certain is there is never anyone who will enter or exit your life who will ever be worth ending your life over. She has hurt you and you are grieving which is a natural process for anyone, however, you are giving her the control and power over your life and this is not a responsibility that should ever be placed on anyone other then yourself. Things may look grim right now and this is because you have not yet begun to process the idea of your life without this woman in it, however, let me ask you this, if thiings had of worked out between you and her where would you have seen you and her in say 10 years? Married with kids and a nice little house? Now take her out of that equation but keep the picture in your mind, you see the only thing missing is her, but, this is her problem not yours. And this picture has been reserved for the girl who will come along and be worth your time and love and who will return it to you. Just because this one girl is no longer in the picture does not mean you cannot rewrite your story and redraw the picture to make room for someone better suited for you.

 

 My advice to you is to write down your story and share it with others just like you, become supported by people who have went through the same thing you are going through and allow them to share their stories with you so that you see you are not the only one going through this and you are not the only one who has ever felt this way. There are others out there right now just like you who think they are alone and that nooone knows what they are going through and this is your chance to reach out and help someone just like you at the same time as helping yourself. And in time you will learn that you can be happy again and that you are worth being loved and that the right girl for you is out there and that this was just a stepping stone to where you were meant to be. Nothing is the end of the line unless you say it is. You and only you are in control of your life and what you do with it. And you are worth living for.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (282k points)   7 7 12
THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too -

http://www1.cbn.com/content/flying-house-episode-5

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell abndbh enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
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National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
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TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
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