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Hello.  I have to admit I'm a little embarrased doing this but I'm at my wits end and frankly I need an outside opinion.  I'll try to be brief.  Ok........   So I guess I should start by saying that I'm not a little kid.  I'm in my mid 30's which makes me fell a little silly doing this but on the other hand the problem in question makes me feel like iI'm 20 years younger.  So I've been talking to a woman pretty often lately that I'm smitten with.  But she isn't some random girl that I met recently.  We went to high school together.  Also, we never dated.  Just lots of flirting.  During our high school years we weren't exactly best friends, but I always had a crush on her.  The feeling was at least somewhat mutual looking back, but I never thought she was really into me.  She used to flirt me quite a bit.  She even asked me a dance one time but I couldn't make it because I was really sick.  And on the last night of our senior trip she caught me off gaurd, pushed me against the wall and started kissing me.  She wanted to go back to my room but I didn't beacause I was chasing some other girl and she was really drunk.  I didn't want to take advantage of her.  So that was that.  Nothing else happened.  Fast forward 18 years, we reconnected on Facebook, and her and I have stared talking almost every day for a month:  texting, actual phone calls that last for no shorter than 30 minutes (usually 45 minutes to an hour, Facebook chatting...).  And that's great.  I love talking to her.  BUT I haven't seen her yet.  I've asked her out a few times and she has asked me out a couple of times but we can't ever seem to get on the same page.  We were supposed to go out "on a date" a week ago (which was her idea and her words) but she got really sick so she had to take a rain check (Iknow she wasn't lying becuase a good mutal female friend brought her some Gatorade and took a picture.  Hehe  Poor thing..).  She called me the next day to apologize, and we were on the phone the following day for almost 3 hours.  And the next night for almost an hour.  She's so easy to talk to and we have great chemistry!  

My problem is it seems like she always has an excuse to not see me.  And she talks about her ex boyfriends too much.  Not constanly, but more than what I would consider would be normal.  Then again, these are all guys that I have met before because we all went to high school together so I can relate (I guess) just because of that.  I don't know what to think or what to do!  I know I'm probably being ridiculous, but I like this woman so so much and I want to do everything everything right but I'm not sure if I should just tell her I don't want to hear that stuff or let it go.  I don't know if I should keep calling her or if I should giver her some space and let her call me more often.  It's not like I initiate every conversation, but most.  She hasn't really blown me off so to speak, but there have been occasions when she got off the phone pretty quickly.  Every time that's happend she has called or texted me back later that day.  I even rushed her off the phone last night but I had an early mornig.  Oh, and she kept talking about all the boys she was in love with when we were in school.  Except for me until I said something.  It just seems really hot and cold.  

I'm not even sure what I'm really asking.  I guess the million dollar question is should I continue to pursue her, give up, or see if anything happens on its own.  It's just that I want to be with her and I'm afraid if I do nothing then I'll miss out.  So much for being brief!
Country: United States

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1 Answer

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Sweetheart, I may not have a ton of experience with this situation in particular but anyone can see that if she means this much to you then keep going after her! It also seems that she's really into you.
Because you haven't seen each other in so long it's going to take some trial and error to meet up again. But don't let that stop you. Set a date and KEEP IT. Determination is what gets you places.
And about the past boyfriend thing... we all have our flaws. But this is nothing a simple conversation couldn't fix.

I hope I've helped if even a little.

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