I don't feel like I have any future and I am only 18

Question

I am only 18 and I feel stuck. I have no dreams beside wanting to get married. I feel there is no point in trying however. I have suffered from depression and feel it is coming back to haunt me. My parents, my mother who gets the money, won't pay for college and has told me to join the army or ROTC program but I know in my heart that I can't go. I am not mentally or physically prepared for any of what they have to offer. I have no money besides what I get from work. It's not even enough to pay for school or move out. I feel scared, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to study. And even if i did, I don't have the money to go to school. My mother said in her time they didn't have to pay for school, but now it's different. She doesn't understand anything. And if i joined the army and they found my self harm scars that would be the end of me. Then what. I don't know what to do. I work part-time and I seriously can't image my life like this. Every time people complain about how hard college life is I just want to cry. I want to study. I want to become an adult. I have even offered to go to community college in U.S and she said she wont pay for ANYTHING. I need a scholorship from ROTC. I have a 3.0 GPA and sat score around 1610 SAT score...and I know no one would want me. I feel like a failure.

Answer 1

Hi,

I've struggled with depression, including suicidal thoughts, and there's been a lot of improvement for me. I've been taking anti-depressant medications. Also, I've been doing the 12 Steps of Emotions Anonymous.

1: We admitted we were powerless over our emotions--that our lives had become unmanageable.

2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5: We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7: We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to all of them.

9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10: We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11: We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Emotions Anonymous, a fellowship of people recovering from emotional problems like anxiety, depression and anger.
http://www.emotionsanonymous.org

My story can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EysSD4rGew

May peace be with you,
Anonymous

Answer 2

Hey Singapore,

I am sorry to hear that you are in such distress.

The first thing that you need to do is to breath and understand that your life is just beginning.  The possibilities for you are endless.  

Depression is difficult.  I deal with it every day since my wife died and understand what you are going through.
You have to keep going and don't let things get you down.  There are many people out there with more problems that the both of us.  Some don't have food to eat or a place to sleep at night.  Focus on the positive things that you do have and how you can help yourself and those around you.

If you are working then that means you are developing skills for your future.  Remember that life isn't about what you have and how nice your clothes are.  Its about doing the best you can and being a positive influence on the world.

Some schools provide loans or even grants.  Maybe you know someone in college that can help you get started?  Its nothing to be ashamed of to need help in life.  If we all work together we can accomplish great things.

Keep on trying and you will be rewarded.

Answer 3

THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too - CatholicShare

https://www.catholicshare.com/these-are-the-3-powerful-prayers-exorcists-use-to-drive-out-evil-you-can-use-it-too/#axzz5aJS8bqNa

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.