Sweetheart I'm not sure as to what could be making you feel this way, when I was your age it was because I finally told my parents that my older sister was telling the truth about my biological father raping and molesting us as children and I always thought I would keep it to myself to prevent anyone thinking I was lying, that I deserved it, that I was disgusting and twisted because I allowed him to do it for as long as he did... Etc. Everything I was trying to prevent other people from thinking or feeling about me came rushing like a high tide of crashing waves... But nobody thought or felt those things but me and it threw me into a severely deep depression and that lead me to see myself in an even more horrible light, it caused me to start cutting myself, to have reoccurring nightmares of torturing my father in the worse ways imaginable. I started to high me as a person, it even got to a point where I didn't feel I deserved to be loved or cared for and that the whole world would be sssooo much better without me in it. That kind of thinking eventually lead me to attempting to commit suicide several times and not one of those times did I find success in putting an end to my life. Not only was I continuously trying to harm myself, I was hurting the ones that truly love and care about me because they were forced to see me time and time again make attempts at ending the life of a beautiful heart, soul and individual that they loved and cared about. I am 27 years old now and I have a 11y/o daughter, a 6y/o daughter and a8y/o son and I pride myself on being the amazing mother they deserve. I allow them as long as they remain respectful to everyone including each other to he themselves and I always make it know to them that they are able to speak to me about absolutely any and everything, I also make it known to them that no matter what it is they NEVER need to worry about any judgment, assumptions or unless they ask for it feedback from me whatsoever. My point of telling you all this love is to let you know you're not alone and there are so many people who are willing to listen when you want or need to talk/vent. You have sssooo much life ahead of you and sssooo many things to experience and lessons to learn. No matter what anyone says you're a beautiful heart, soul and young woman, you're strong, smart and absolutely AMAZING!!! Don't let anyone or anything have power over you and your life. Whatever it is or whoever it is making you feel this way forgive them for the wrongs they've committed against you and I'm not telling you this because you should forgive them truth be told screw them... You need to forgive them for you, so you can move on and regain the happiness and joy you once had. I wrote a 12 page letter to my bio father forgiving him for ripping my innocence from me, for corrupting my mind, heart and soul, for trying to destroy me when he was supposed to be the one to protect me and love me, for lying to me and telling me that what he was doing to me and forcing me to do was the way daddy's show their love to their daughters, and for not at the least apologizing to me when he was confronted by me in front of my mother and step father. I forgave him for all the wrongs he's committed against me and I also told him about the strength of the power he unknowingly had over me and my life and what I had allowed it to drive me to. I wrote the letter and never gave it to him instead I burned it on the porch and when the ashes began to flutter in the wind, so did my sorrows,hatred for him and the pain I felt from all that he's done that dwelled in my heart and soul. I currently am trying to open my own home for young children and teens, even young teenage parents that go through things similar to what I've went through and other troubles and struggles. No one should feel like their life isn't worth living because although we go through these things and people cause us harm, we are strong and can and will get through it. With individuals such as myself around there is ABSOLUTELY NO reason why a beautiful young lady such as yourself should go unheard or left to face these demons on your own. If you ever need to talk you're more than welcome to contact me.