Hi, I want to say that we hear you, your voice is never unheard, only because people in the past have maybe dismissed your opinion and voice, doesn't mean that your thoughts aren't important- sometimes we just don't have the best people surrounding us who listen and care for us.
35? You are young, you still have life, and so so much ahead of it ahead of you and like the previous answer said, loads of people live with their parents in this terrible economy. There's nothing to be ashamed about <3
People around you may live a different life to you- having children etc and this may pressure you into thinking you should have these things. But you should only have these aspects to your life if YOU want them, not what you feel you should do. And if you do want these things then you deserve to have them, we all deserve to have our dreams no matter how small or big. You are never worthless, your financial status or how you are,compared to others does NOT determine your worth. You are definitely capable of giving love, but first you have to give it to yourself. Believing that you don't deserve anything is untrue and it's harmful to yourself, you wouldn't think of others or your child self this way. You deserve love, freedom, happiness and the first step of getting there is believing your capable of actually having this things. You would wish these things upon the people you are close to, so do it for yourself.
I guess you are almost apologizing to yourself and your surroundings because you believe you are a waste and that you are undeserving but you haven't failed in life and you will never fail. Only because we aren't strong enough now, doesn't mean that we can't ever be. Only because we aren't where we want to be, doesn't mean we can't ever be.
You have dreams (we all do), but look inside those before you give up. Look inside what you truly want from those dreams and whether these aspirations are yours, or just fragments of your families' or society's expectations. For example if you say you want a successful shop, the inner theme is that you want freedom, you want less constraint (with finance), and hold these dreams in your heart, because you will get them in unexpected ways if it's truly what you want. If you want children, what do you want from that? Happiness, love? comfort? Attention? because other physical circumstances may fulfill these dreams without even having children. We focus too much on the happening and not what we actually feel and receive from life.
I hope you are still holding on to your dreams, and I hope you will be OK, no one expects you to be strong all the time and it's OK if you feel weak or powerless all the time. Sometimes circumstances aren't the best, but it doesn't mean they can't change.
Forums are always here for you, we hear you girl x