Asking For Help is Not a Sign of Weakness! It is a brave and critical First Step! ASK a Question Now!
0 votes
Okay, long story short my boyfriend and I have been together for a long time and we have had some serious ups and downs, unfortunately mostly downs. My boyfriend is fighting an addiction to pills and that happened not long after we got together. It made him a different person, almost like being with a stranger, I didn't even recognize him anymore. He would like and steal and he quit talking to me about things. I didn't even realize he had a problem at first. So we go through this for a couple years of him not being the man I fell in love with and he is in and out of work. I'm basically supporting him and us in general. One day I finally snap and have had enough and go stay with some family for a few months and think that this is the end of us. I go to break it off with him and he begs me to come home and give it a few weeks. I didn't want to be there and I was still so angry at him for the things he had done and the fact that it seemed like he didn't care about me anymore. One night I was invited to a party and even though didn't really want to go I went because I didn't want to be home even more. I never expected what was going to happen but this guy and I end up not having full blown intercourse but close enough. To me it's all the same. Cheating is cheating. So I go back home and tell my boyfriend the main details of what happened. Although I didn't tell him everything... So we agreed to give each other a second chance since we both had made mistakes. I hate myself daily over this mistake I made and I can't find it in myself to forgive myself.  I don't understand why I did it that night and I wish I would have stayed home but I know I would have broke up with my boyfriend if I had later in the next week or so because I was so angry and done with us at the time. It's been over a year since we decided to try and start over and although I have done everything possible to move past it some days are just really hard. What do I do? Also should I tell my boyfriend everything or is it enough for him to know the main details and that I confessed to him. I've been praying all the time trying to talk to God but I'm also down on my faith and I'm scared he isn't listening... that maybe I'm just not a good person and I'm not worth it.
Country: USA

Your answer

By submitting an answer you warrant and confirm to us that you agree to comply with the Three Laws of Find Angel : Not-for-Profit, Positive, and Equal. Thank you for making this world a better place, Angel!
Please Contact Us if you need any technical help! Get daily Angel Help Request Notification here!
Be Someone’s Angel Today!

Please enter your answer in the box below:

Your name to display (optional):
Privacy: Your email address will only be used for sending these notifications.
Anti-spam verification:
To avoid this verification in future, please log in or register.

3 Answers

0 votes

I've struggled with hurts, hang-ups and habits, including codependency, and there's been a lot of improvement for me. I've been trying to work the 8 Principles of Celebrate Recovery. Part of my continued healing is that I share with others the solution. The 8 Principles of CR are:

1) Realize I’m not God. I admit that I’m powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing, and that my life has become unmanageable.
2) Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that he has the power to help me recover.
3) Consciously commit my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
4) Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself and to someone I trust.
5) Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to do in my life, and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.
6) Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
7) Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading and prayer in order to know God and his will for my life and to gain the power to follow his will.
8) Yield myself to God to be used to bring this good news to others, both by my example and by my words.

Celebrate Recovery, a fellowship of people recovering from hurts, hang-ups and habits. To find a group:

Thanks for reading this.

May peace be with you,
+1 vote
Hi! I know it's not my position to tell you so,  but I think the main reason why you can't move on to that event is because you are keeping a secret from someone you love.  I understand that you're afraid that he wouldn't accept you, but being with him and basically not telling him the whole story can also be considered as cheating. Also, I know how it feels like when your faith is down,  when you think God isn't answering your prayer. But trust me, He does. Maybe that guilt that you're feeling right now is His answer. I think it is Him telling you to be honest and accept your mistakes.
0 votes
Profile Photo by Arnold (410 points)   1
Telling him everything will help you internally, honestly, ive had similar experience and the guilt didn't pass untill I was 100% honest about everything. If you truly love him and want it to work I believe he deserves to know the truth? It's about thinking how would you feel if he did this to you and didn't tell you everything?
If he's still there after you've told him what you have then he obviously loves you enough to see past it? The truth is like a lion,set it free and it will defend itself, try writing it all down it'll be easier than just saying it out of the blue?
Please don't beat yourself up about it,guilt is horrible but it's there because you havnt been 100% about the situation?
you will feel better when it's all out of the bag?
Hope this helps x

Share this question

Welcome to Angels Online Help Desk, where you can ask questions and receive answers from the public community of ANGELS - people share similar vision and mission of helping others and making this world a better place.

You can ask or answer questions without registering. SPAM/SCAM or any for-profit message is NOT allowed here. This is NOT intended for Financial or Travel Support, and this is NOT a Crowdfunding Site, but you can post links to your campaign. We will not contact you for any personal information.

Please note that all questions and answers here are OPEN to the PUBLIC (everyone in the world) and are non-confidential. We do NOT evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. We provide the platform for people to share PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and express PUBLIC OPINION. It is NOT a replacement for professional help.

::Terms of Service::

::Get Help Request Alert::



If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Victims of Crime Connect (US) at 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846)
Boys Town (US) at 1-800-448-3000
Dial 211 (US) at 211
The Trevor Project (US) at 1-866-488-7386
GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
Visit Befrienders for other countries:
Argentina: +5402234930430
Australia: 131114
Austria: 017133374
Belgium: 106
Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: 212339191
Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223
Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)
Croatia: 014833888
Denmark: +4570201201
Egypt: 7621602
Finland: 010 195 202
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001810771
Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000
Hungary: 116123
Iceland: 1717
India: 8888817666
Ireland: +4408457909090
Italy: 800860022
Japan: +810352869090
Mexico: 5255102550
New Zealand: 0508828865
The Netherlands: 113
Norway: +4781533300
Philippines: 028969191
Poland: 5270000
Russia: 0078202577577
Spain: 914590050
South Africa: 0514445691
Sweden: 46317112400
Switzerland: 143
United Kingdom: 08006895652
USA: 18002738255
You are not alone. Please reach out.


Inform me of new Angel Help Request

6.9k questions

15.1k answers


625 users

Related questions

+1 vote
5 answers 195 views
0 votes
2 answers 109 views
0 votes
2 answers 104 views
asked May 27, 2013 by anonymous  
+2 votes
3 answers 221 views
+1 vote
4 answers 288 views
asked Jul 17, 2012 by anonymous