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I could use someone who actually cares to listen... I also need money if anyone has some to spare. I have really bad dysphoria that is making me want to kill myself because I'm not able to save any $ towards surgery and it feels like it will never happen, so I don't even want to be alive... I've been trying to sell nude photos/videos even though I don't want to because I'm desperate for some money. Surgery is so expensive.

I've been so lonely because I moved home because of my disability making it impossible for me to continue school or work, and I still have to wait until March to see a specialist. I don't think I'll ever qualify for benefits, which is a ******* joke. People I thought I was friends with don't talk to me. Nobody would notice/care if I just disappeared tomorrow and never came back. It hurts because I know it. I'm alone and in pain all the time. I just want to die....

I've tried seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for my depression and anxiety but I never got any benefit from it... apparently my brain hates all antidepressants so I can't take any meds... it's horrible. And my stress is amplified by the fact that- after finally escaping my parents- i had to move back in with them so that i have food and shelter. My family has so much mental illness that even though they're there for me more than anyone else (because nobody else gives a s*** about me, apparently), they're also unreasonable and abusive and it just makes me more sick and depressed.

I don't know what to do at this point. I have a plan to kill myself by 2018 if nothing changes. (Please don't tell me not to- I appreciate it you care at all, but saying that won't help. I need something to actually change in my life for me to want to be alive. Everything is horrible and it keeps getting worse and worse the longer I fight to stay alive so I don't even care anymore.)
Country: USA
    

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4 Answers

+1 vote
by  
Hi,

I've struggled with hurts, hang-ups and habits, and there's been a lot of improvement for me. I've been taking anti-depressant medications. Also I've been working the 8 Principles of Celebrate Recovery. Part of my continued healing is that I share with others the solution. The 8 Principles of CR are:

1) Realize I’m not God. I admit that I’m powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing, and that my life has become unmanageable.
2) Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that he has the power to help me recover.
3) Consciously commit my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
4) Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself and to someone I trust.
5) Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to do in my life, and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.
6) Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
7) Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading and prayer in order to know God and his will for my life and to gain the power to follow his will.
8) Yield myself to God to be used to bring this good news to others, both by my example and by my words.

Celebrate Recovery, a fellowship of people recovering from hurts, hang-ups and habits. To find a group:
http://locator.crgroups.info

Thanks for reading this.

May peace be with you,
Anonymous
+1 vote
by  
Hello new friend! I can't give money cuz i dont have much either.  Im just able to b a friend n if u wana ta talk/type...i don't want anything in return, just thought I'd let u kno there's still some kind ppl left in the world. Even tho kindness seems to be extinct (i think). Imalocal1@proton.com. stay strong. Kitt.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (280k points)   7 7 12
THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too - CatholicShare

https://www.catholicshare.com/these-are-the-3-powerful-prayers-exorcists-use-to-drive-out-evil-you-can-use-it-too/#axzz5aJS8bqNa

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.
0 votes
by  
Hello
I understand. It hurts to hear how bad you feel.
I just posted my own question.i wish i could offer more than empathy.
It is so very difficult what you're going thru..and not a similiar prob that others around you have!
At least my probs are common,lol!
 anxiety and other similar thought.
I can only offer tiniest thought. Im just avg woman next door. Not judgemental and totally empathetic.
Not all people around you are judgemental or disapproving,etc.
 Trans topic more understandable or heard of at least.
I hope becomes a bit easier for you.
   Im stuck in a lifestyle choice too. Can never talk about it etc. So enpathasize with you.
Know someone read your thoughts today and cared :)
Take care,friend.

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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911 ( 999, 112, 111, or ... ) OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.

If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
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GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
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