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i am so unhappy and lost my husband died 5 months ago and now one of my childrens relationship has broken down so they are back home. his partner has took it really bad  it has been 3 months now and it is geting worse bombarding me and my son with text messages and phone calls she is using my grandson as a weapon saying he can see his dad then he cant i think she is not coping i am so worried i cant eat sleep or think straight i just wish it would all end i cant cope anymore i think about my grandson all the time worrying about him. please help me
Country: united kingdom

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3 Answers

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Profile Photo by HOPE ANGEL24K (66.2k points)   7 11 38
Sorry to know what has been hapening. Please don't worry too much. Your son is an adult now and he should be able to take care of the situation.

If it is possible, you can offer help to take care of your grandson at least temporary. Provide the best for him. I am sure you will.

All you can do is provide support and try to help them figure out the best path forward of the relationship, while considering for the best of your grandchild.

May God Bless you and your family!!
0 votes
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 36
Hi, I am sorry to hear of your troubles and sorry to hear of your loss. You have a lot to deal with at the moment and need a good friend to talk to, if you wish you can talk with me, I am here for you.

What is going on over the broken relationship is sadly not unusual , at first there is the bitterness and the hurt, please give it time for the initial tempers to settle, try not to hit back as this will only make the other person retaliate more.

Please feel free to talk to me about this a much as you want , it will help to share your hurt and concerns..........Angel Faith
+1 vote
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59

I am so sorry you are going through this. These types of cases are never easy for anyone involved. The first step is for your son to get legal counsel. He is your grandson's father and as such has rights. He needs to assert them through the courts. I know everyone would prefer to not get the courts involved but if his ex is using the child as a pawn then it has to be settled by a neutral third party. You can also petition the courts to make a determination whether she is at the moment able to adequately care for the child, and you/your son can ask for temporary custody. As a grandparent, you may also have certain visitation rights but you really have to check with solicitor, as I know this is the case in the US but I don't know for the UK.

For the time being, I would suggest you record EVERYTHING... The time/date you have spoken to your grandson's mother. What she has said (if possible record her conversations). Save all the text messages, etc. she has sent your son. This is evidence of her instability and bias. And it can be enough for the courts to enforce a custody order. Don't be angry with her ... be very civil. You and your son are going to have to handle her very smartly and you may not like how she is acting but don't argue with her. Let the family court handle it.... in the long run it will be better. Good luck and keep us posted. It will all be ok.

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