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I'm 19 years old, 2nd year college. Female.

I have a lot of scars and i couldn't heal them. Why? They were deep scars.

Deep scars that will never heal.

My life is full of embarassing, severe pain, hopeless, and plus. I'm stupid.

Im stupid because i didn't ask my teacher what's the format of the presentation. I have no knowledge why? Because i didn't review it. I have a lot of things to do and i wasn't serious about my presentation.

I'm stupid because i underestimate my potential on reports and i didn't ask how to do it.

My teacher got angry during class because of my mistake. I'm a failure in life. I just can't...

I'm stupid because some people may think this is stupid because a single mistake is just a stepping stone for me to grow. Bullcrap! That's not it! My life isn't worth it from the begginning.

My life has been embarassing since childhood. I can't take it. I don't want to go out anymore because i'm traumatized that my teacher call me that i can do it means that i should give up.

My life is full of craps. I want to die.
I want to. I don't want to be hurt again. Punching myself can't heal my stress and anxiety attacks. I don't want to live this kind of life! I don't want to live were people hates me. Nobody in my class likes me. They think i'm a loser and a good for nothing trash.

I can't take it anymore. I have a lot of problems and they keep piling up. I'm going crazy to the point that i don't want to live anymore. I just don't want to live this kind of life.

I can't describe pure happiness anymore.
I do not deserve to be happy. I do not deserve to be love why? Because i'm a child full of mistakes. I don't even have a friend to begin with.

They don't want to involve someone like me because they think i'm stupid. Am i stupid? I don't have any achievement then it's true.

I'm writing this now because my life is hopeless. Totally hopeless.

I begun to have a lot of phobias such as fear of men, crowded places, teachers and confrontation etc.

i'm sensitive and an introvert.

My family might despise me someday because i can't do anything right. I tried my very best but the results are the same.

This person doesn't deserve anything.
Country: Philippines
    

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3 Answers

0 votes
by  
Life has ups and downs!  It gets better!  Love for you!  Forget everyone else!  Easier said than done, but I have learned to not care about other people and I am so happy now!  Take classes you enjoy, find your passions!  Wounds will heal and make you stronger!!  To say you need help, means you want to be happy!  Only you determine your happiness!  Love yourself, you are uniquely made and wonderful!  You are loved!
0 votes
by  
First of all YOU ARE NOT STUPID! for someone to take the initiative to express their feelings is a very smart, compassionate individual like youself, your worth exceeds the average for one simple reason and that is because you are unique, talented and most of all you care, as I read your profile I noticed some particulars like you have many scars, well, from what I can tell your scars maybe battle wounds but your battle wounds are your strengths.
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I've struggled with hurts, hang-ups and habits, and there's been a lot of improvement for me. I've been working the 8 Principles of Celebrate Recovery. Part of my continued healing is that I share with others the solution. The 8 Principles of CR are:

1) Realize I’m not God. I admit that I’m powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing, and that my life has become unmanageable.
2) Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that he has the power to help me recover.
3) Consciously commit my life and will to Christ’s care and control.
4) Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself and to someone I trust.
5) Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to do in my life, and humbly ask him to remove my character defects.
6) Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
7) Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading and prayer in order to know God and his will for my life and to gain the power to follow his will.
8) Yield myself to God to be used to bring this good news to others, both by my example and by my words.

Celebrate Recovery, a fellowship of people recovering from hurts, hang-ups and habits. To find a group:
http://locator.crgroups.info

Thanks for reading this.

May peace be with you,
Anonymous

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