I'm 52, living with my mother, broke, depressed and stuck.....HELP!

Question

Well, here I am, at the end of my rope, so depressed, I feel....well, stuck. Here's my story:
I'm a 52 year old recovering drug addict with 8 months sober. I have dug myself into a hole I can't seem to get out of. Better yet, I don't know how to get out. I live at home with my Mother, I'm disabled and an ex felon. Granted, it was a shoplifting  charge when I was using, and I've paid my debt to society,  but when my name is googled it shows up in many forms. There are 3 different versions of my "mugshot" and a variety of articles related to my crime online. Getting a job has proved almost impossible. EVERY employer does a background check.  I make futile attempts to sit on Craigslist trying to find a "Side Hustle", the glamorous term for a part time job with no success. I have an eviction on my record that stays on 10 years so renting on my own is next to impossible. Once again, that dreaded background check. My credit stinks. I have no car AND I'm still on probation for yet another charge, a misdemeanor, drug paraphernalia.
Wow! This looks even worse on paper than it does just talking about it.
I go to AA as part of my recovery, voluntary. It's great, but nobody is giving me a job or  a place to live or extra money that is  being ****** out of me by the state of Florida.

Ok, now that I feel miserable about my life and existence, how can I ever change this? I live in a part of the country where public transportation is virtually non existent. Without a car I can't get to job interviews, when they arise, or meetings, or even the grocery store. I have so little extra cash from my meager disability check that after I pay bills and fines, there's nothing left for saving. Every once in a while when I do have something, I'm so depressed that I order a trinket online to try to soothe myself because I can't use drugs anymore for  that. It just doesn't work. Using drugs is not  the answer. I'm so bored with my life, which isn't much of one. I know people always tell me, especially in my 12 step program, to look to God for the strength I need. I've also been told to write gratitude lists. And, yes, I have a place to live and manage to eat every day, but is this all there is? I'm miserable. If I won the lottery, that would be the answer to all my prayers. Money is the issue, or lack of it an even bigger issue.

I need to get unstuck here. Every day I wake up and my feet hit the floor I think to myself, "Oh, ****,
another day." This is no way to live.

Help!

Answer 1

Greetings  Fiona... Try to click on this very substantial URL 'cuz its for all of us who will eventually leave this beauiful temporary lifetime journey here on earth and will come face to face with our Divine and Holy Most Powerful Creator King Lord God Almighty Holy Father or Allah at the end of the tunnel and will give the final judgement to each one of us based on our lifetime or last performance here on earth:


http://www1.cbn.com/content/flying-house-episode-22


>>> ABSOLUTION PRAYER <<<

Oh our Lord God Almighty Holy Father or Allah, We are heartily or sincerely sorry for having offended You most of the time, we detest all our mortal sins, because we dread the loss of Your beautiful Kingdom of Heaven from up above and the never ending or immortal pains or torments in hell, but most of all because we offend you , our Lord God Almighty or Allah, who are all Divine and Holy and deserving of all our love. We firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to confess our sins, to do penance and to amend our lives.

Lord God Almighty Holy Father or Allah of mercies, through the death and resurrection of your Holy Son, Jesus Christ you have reconciled the world to yourself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the mosque and church, may You grant us pardon and peace and absolve us of our lifetime mortal sins before we finally close our eyes because we would like to be with you in your beautiful Kingdom of Heaven, adore and praise you forever as our most Powerful Highest Pedestal Throne King Lord God Almighty Holy Father or Allah and be saved from the horifying torments of immortal or eternal condemnation or cremation in hell, in the name of the Holy Father, and of the Holy Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Answer 2

Greetings  Fiona... Try to check on these very substantial URLs bout the mystery of our temporary lifetime journey that is full of day to day challenges on this beautiful planet earth and why we should fortify or strengthen our faith and be more closer to our Lord God Almighty Allah, our 24/7 Saviour:

http://www1.cbn.com/content/flying-house-episode-5

http://www1.cbn.com/content/flying-house-episode-31

https://**********.me/watch-movie-the-********-of-emily-rose/lC9w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=***********

Psalm 91

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,

10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

Comments

Woow, maybe just me but ..what depressing feedback. I was going to say..what interests you, excites you, is there an area psychology,  education, voodoo  (kidding) ? You can find out online about grants (sounds like you are low income) scholarship info. Don't think about your educational history. There has to be something you are interested in...pursue it ! Find out how to learn more. Even if it does not turn into a career it will direct you, find others with the same interests etc you can do it online. Worth a try.

Answer 3

I have been where you are and here is what I did: Get on the Working Healthy Program. If you don't have a social worker/case manager, find one who is known for taking action. Find one by looking up local mental health centers who can either help you or direct you to a day program. The Working Healthy Program will pay for all mental health help as well as a Personal Care Giver, and the social worker/case manager at the mental health day program will make sure you get all the benefits you need as a disabled person, including HOUSING THAT IS INCOME BASED! Case manager also will be paid for by working healthy program which is nation wide.
You only have to make $68.oo per month and you will be on working healthy and get the best insurance you can ever imagine! The Social Services  local  office is run by the state (sometimes called department of children and families, etc. - it's where you go to get food stamps) can give you vocational rehabilitation.  The key to paying for all of this is to find some charity or church or any kind of part time job or odd job that will pay you at least $68.oo a month.