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+2 votes
i've been up and down with depression for sometime and am currently not on medication.  the thought of dying doesnt scare me but the i do it does?? i have 3 kids and i blame myself for everything they do wrong... i am so tired of struggling and now face christmas with nothing for my kids.  financially after today i have no food or money till the dss sort my claim out and in the meantime they cannot help as i owe them so much money though an overpayment (a mistake they made) my house is upside down and so am i, i cant understand why i always end up feeling trapped in my own mind and worry constant for my kids...please help me feel better so i can deal with and face everyday life and its issues without falling apart every turn at the seams
Country: uk

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9 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by James (220 points)   2
You just have to think 'this too will pass.' it won't last forever. Everybody goes through rough patches in their life but think you have 3 children which I'm sure you adore. Try and focus on the positive things in life.
+1 vote
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59

You need to step back and just take a deep breath... It sounds like you are having a panic attack, and just feel completely crushed by the pressure. Is there no one who can help you with your kids? Are you getting any support from their father? It sounds like you need a little break. If you can't, then you just need to let things go. It is ok if your home is a mess. With 3 kids what home wouldn't be, especially if you want them to be happy kids. Don't worry about things that are beyond your control. And don't stress over Christmas ... I am sure they would rather spend time with you than get a ton of presents.

Is there a reason you have stopped treatment? Please do not ignore your depression. You need to take care of yourself so you can be well, and in turn take care of your kids. You have 3 great reasons to fight and live. Your kids need you. You can't blame yourself for everything your kids do... they have free will, and sometimes will not make the right choices. But, you do have the power to react. If you feel they have done something wrong, then correct them. Show them the right way, and the best way to do this is to set the example. Be a good role model for them, and show them that chose life for them. Show them that life is full of struggles but they like you can handle it.

Please don't lose hope, and don't stress. If you need to talk, I am here for you. Good luck
0 votes
My name carolyn I am deaf am tired because social security keep cut me where I can't pay bills and my greedy boss who refuse give me full  time  job because  I don't have no car I have not have Christmas for 6 years I feel like give up no matter how I try I just don't know I don't have family am alone
0 votes
i know how you feel, although my circumstances are different, i have no children, but the man i love is dying of cancer, i drink to numb the pain, but every day i want to die, i can't because i HAVE to be strong for him. but depression makes me weak, i lie awake hoping to die because i can't stand the living, you are not alone in unhappiness, i wish i could give you what you need to make it through, but all i can give you is my story. don't give up, your children need you. sarah XX
0 votes
Been there, done that. Sort the dss mess out after the holiday period (they wont do anything now and will TRY to reclaim the overpaid benefits (but only a bit at a time)). I have a disabled son n my wife has just come out of hospital and im working 6 days a week  but not been paid for 8weeks. Im getting 2 or 3 hrs sleep a night and struggling to cope with home / work demands but......
There's always a future to look forward to - even if you can't see it yet -
Have faith in your friends n family,  they WILL understand and help you through this.
0 votes
Hello I'm reading posts,today to hopefully she'd some light on my own struggles,fears and i came across yours.unbelievable how similar my story is to yours. Hope all is,better by now.Your in my prayers. God Bless!
0 votes
Jesus is who to turn to, He said if any one is heavy laden , he should come to me and I will give him rest.
He said me peace I give to you, not as the world give. Just recognize Him as your Lord and specifically ask for Him to help you. You will be amazed at how He will manifest himself.

bless you
0 votes
You my love are amazing and you are feeling the pressures but fear not.. You are loved buy you kids who need you, life is unfair from time to time,  but good times come back around so take solis in that..set a goal and buy the time you reach it, change will be with you.. I also feel like that a lot but guess what I'm still here against all odds staying positive and please love do not under appreciate your self worth by taking responsibility for your kids faults.. We were all young and foolish once,, mistakes R a part of life and a important one at that... But don't carry a weight that's not yours.. Your doing your best that's all any 1 can ask... Stay positive.. You are appreciated
much love from Ireland..
0 votes
My life seems to echo yours . I also have 3 children and know very well how difficult they can be . Iv had all your problems even down to the fact of clerical errors, and when life gets hard all our problems seem to be harder, tougher to deal with, at the same time the kids are fighting in the background. your not alone. I  hope you got through Christmas and like me glad its over. So now its time I think to try and cheer you up. This is what I do, entertaining the kids is I think the hardest problem so I try to find all the free fun things to do, which get the kids involved in activities, hopefully happy and sleepy  when its time to go home.You then, most importantly getting time to yourself, time to sort out other problems which are not done over night, one at a time. Sort out the most urgent and deal with those first the others can wait. If you owe money you have to speak to those people, they can't get blood from a stone, these people are and should be understanding and will select the best plan to your needs. Avoid the Bailiff at all costs. Having no food is not nice I went to a charity who helped me with food, which took away the stress of where the next meal was coming from, and of course how to pay for it. Life for me couldn't get any worse, but I kept saying to myself when your down the only way is up. Trust yourself that it will get better and it will get better, you will look back and say to yourself how did I do it and be proud that you did. Iv not stopped the kids from fighting though, that is a problem I think ill have to ignore. God bless you stay strong

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