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You know, i'll wager to claim that the answers to these questions mainly consist of, "But think of the pretty blue sky!" "sniff a flower!" "pet a dog!" "paint a picture!" "of course you'll get married and have kids one day!" "you can heal!" and i respect that, of course, some people are really into life, and some people can get back into life with the help of medication and therapy, good for them. i, however, am not one of those people. throughout my whole life, the only things i ever enjoyed were my distractions. as I've aged, that has become much more difficult. Because you know, gotta get a job/go to college/do things you hate 24/7. not to mention I'm not 8 anymore so imagining I'm in my fantasy worlds ain't so satisfying anymore. you know what i mean.

the truth is, I don't want therapy, and I don't want drugs. I don't despise the concept of life, but I am utterly unsatisfied with this one. It is just - not my thing. Its cool if you like livin', just personally, I would rather not. (god i sound like an edgy teenager... yuck)

and YET!!! for some reason!!! I still stay alive because it would hurt my family's feelings and funerals are expensive!!!

anyway, my question is - anyone else feel the same way? if I went to Switzerland would they euthanize me or nah? any suggestions on how to tough it out until my parents are dead? and don't say hobbies. I work and go to school, and ain't got time to do ****.

man I hope its okay to swear in these.
Country: sad
    

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1 Answer

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i have been a depressive most of my life.  i battle lots of these sorts of feelings you describe.
i have been through a lot, gone through a lot, and have been very very dark at times...


first i    have come to know no one can be helped unless they want to be...
i didn't always..
but i do now~

i don't want to be here on this planet, and die not  having made the most of it.

i have been doing all i can to  ""feel" my true happiness.   i've been exactly where you  are many times, and many times  worse  than this....
then
there are times i do  truly feel blissful, and  this is what i am working to increase, and make a more regular state for myself. some of us, just a prone to depression...
 but if i  have a completely  sh#tty life, it's my own doing  at  a certain point... because  i know  i can change  my feelings. it  takes hard work, and  a lot more hard work...  but having a  crappy life hurts no one but me.. (and my family would suffer)
helping other people...is  always  the best way to get out of the self and raise the low vibration f  depression~and sadness.
taking walks, and all that stuff you mentioned actually  do help to build endorphins. it's not about being all polyana, it's about exercising the body and mind to  create better chemicals  to   create happiness, and  be in a place to "really feel" the joy that can be here.no drugs  legal, or illegal for me either...  that won't help..
this is just me. ~
i know it can be so hard, so i will wish both of us well, and wish both of us Gods blessings, and pray that God  carries us, and provides for  us all we need to do  what we were put here to do.
God bless you. it will be o.k. if we work for it

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