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I am done. I have read all the way, I have written all the ways I thought I would want to live for. I do not see any reason anymore. I am about to graduate high school but I don't see the reason to go to the ceremony anymore, nor does my mother, but she didn't care about any of the achievements I had anyway. This isn't one of those "my family never cared about me so now I want to end it" because quite frankly you get used to that feeling when it happens at an early age. I just don't know who I am nor want to know who I am anymore I just want to feel free again. I don't want to grow up nor do I care about anything anymore. I have friends, they're nice but I always was the one who could be left out if wanted to. I just simply need something where it won't end in me dying painfully. Aspirin I know is a horrible way to go out, jumping off a bridge (our bridge isn't that high nor in a secluded place), gunshot (I simply don't want to leave a mess and have it be more of a way to hate me), and overdose I would have to de secluded but the only reasoning I could have behind that is not being able to sleep but they wouldn't believe me. So does anyone, without the hopeless "life is great" "have you tried suicide hotline" (yes I have felt too numb for it as well and awkward) have any ideas? I am fine with the overdose but I just need to know which one to get and how good it will work.
    

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3 Answers

0 votes
ago by  
Hum... one thing you could do, that would take you completely out of your current status and place, is to just start walking. Pick a direction and put one foot ahead of the other and keep on going. The worst that can happen is that you'll die from exposure, so try this in relatively good weather. And as you go, ask people what to do....

Say something like: "Hi, I'm leaving where I was and don't even know how to be homeless. Can you offer a suggestion?"

Someone will feed you, someone will give you advise. If they shoot you, well there you go, you've attained that end. But I'll bet a new life will find you if you just work hard at walking till something happens.

You are trying to leave people behind... see if this idea will fit. You can always walk back or try something else.
0 votes
Profile Photo ago by HOPE ANGEL24K (63.5k points)   6 11 38
Dear Anonymous,

Life is an unique journey. It is ok if you don't see the reason at this time. Please just keep moving forward and looking for it with an open and positive mind.   

I am sure your mother, friends, and others close to you all care about you. As you know, many people are not good at expressing how they feel.

I understand that you feel pain inside. It is not permanent and there are real solutions, so please do not give up and do not believe the illusion of ending it.

We all need help in our life. It is not awkward at all to call the hotline (1-800-273-TALK (8255)) or ask for professional help. It is like visiting the doctor when we are sick.

I won't tell you "life is great". As we speak, many people are living in "hell" ... About 800 million people in our world do not have enough food to lead a healthy active life. That's about one in nine people on earth ...
However, I believe that you are so unique and capable. You are able to make your life great and make others' life great ...

Sharing with you one of my favorite poem from Mother Teresa:

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

May God and Angels Guide You to make the right and wise decision
0 votes
ago by  
Hang in there. There is a reason you are being tried. The Lord tries us through the fire like steel. I believe that proves HE Ahas faith in you and believes you are worthy of refining. We cant possibly understand what only the Lord can see. Trust in Him...and hold on to that faith. Maybe one of these days you will come across someone feeling like you do now and you can understand and empathize with them. Perhaps your experience will give someone else the courage to pull through the darkness. You are not alone and everything happens for a reason. Ask Him to help you through it and make you strong. He will not forsake you.

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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911 ( 999, 112, 111, or ... ) OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.

If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Victims of Crime Connect (US) at 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846)
Boys Town (US) at 1-800-448-3000
Dial 211 (US) at 211
The Trevor Project (US) at 1-866-488-7386
GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
Visit Befrienders for other countries.

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