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+2 votes
in the last five years i have not only had the challenges of growing up and moving into adulthood (eg, friendships moving on, family transitions, education, self-identity ect...) but also what i feel is too much life experience.
By the age of 17 i had fallen into a bad crowd, i always tried to keep my footing but i know there are times i have let myself down, by my 18th i had cut most ties with these people except for 3 people who i thought i could rely on and trust, one of whom were my boyfriend of the time. a few weeks after my 18th i was told that i had a very serious genetic condition and that i was going to die shortly. with this news i lost my two friends and my boyfriend. the devistation was too much for me so i moved to a hotter state to restart what ever was left of my life.
On my 19th birthday i met my current boyfriend, he is amazing and understanding and the most normal person i have ever met. A few months into my new life i get a call from an old friend telling me that my ex-boyfriend had killed himself, the only note he left was the lyrics to our song written across the wall. Again i was devistated, a lot of our old friends blamed me and i still cant help but feel some responcibility.
a few weeks later my grandfather died, he was the only man i had ever looked up to and i took it harder than i thought i would. I never got to grieve my grandfather because my mother had a nervous break down.
i spent the next year trying to look after my mother, pay the bills without full time work, study, look after my sickness, manage time with my new (slightly jealous) boyfriend and set up my life.
with all that was going on i let some things slip, my new life is nothing how i thought it would be. I have made no friends here except my boyfriend, the lonliness is really starting to eat me up. Im finding it hard to leave the house and almost have a panic attack if i feel someone is looking at me. When i first moved here i started to make friends but with my sickness there can be weeks where i cannot move and i dont want to confide in anyone because of how i was treated last time, so they think i just dont want to know them. I hate living here, but i do love my boyfriend, he said he would move with me in 2 years when he finishes his apprenticship, but i dont know if i can make 2 years here, i feel like i cant make another week!

i dont know what to do anymore. i dont know how to make everyone elses life better. i dont even know how to build a life for myself, but i dont want to die with so much hurt in my heart and being a failure.

can anyone help me at all? any advice on how to say goodbye to someone and accept never getting answers? or how to build a life totally alone? or how to look after those few people you do have? how do you heal past wounds and learn how to laugh again?
Country: Australia

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3 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by HOPE ANGEL24K (66.2k points)   7 11 38

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!

Since you are thinking about moving again, I would like to ask you about your expeience for your last move several years ago. Do you think it worth it? Did it help you get what you want?

Every big move comes with risk and a price. It is very important to understand the reason behind this move and the goal you are trying to achieve by moving.

Fo example, I don't think moving out again could help you solve this: "I have made no friends here except my boyfriend, the lonliness is really starting to eat me up."

"When i first moved here i started to make friends but with my sickness there can be weeks where i cannot move and i dont want to confide in anyone because of how i was treated last time, so they think i just dont want to know them." Why not just tell your friends? If they truely care about you, they will understand.

Did others tell you that you are a wonderful and very successful woman? You take good care about yourself and your mother despite your illness. I think you have been doing great.

You don't need to live/fight alone. You deserve true friendship and lots of help and support.

"how do you heal past wounds and learn how to laugh again?" You will laugh when you make others laughing.

May Angels be Around You!
+1 vote
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 36
Hi, reading you message, I see a very nice person who has had more than their share of hard knocks. You are amazing to have come through all of this and its no wonder you are feeling despondent, we all get times when life has pushed us to the limit and it becomes difficult to find the answers sometimes.
You are an intelligent person I can tell and you will find your way.
If you believe in angels ask them to give you the strength and  help you fight  with hope anf faith.
Talk to your boyfriend again and see if you can compromise.
I will say that I feel that you may think that moving away is the answer as you have done this before when you found it difficult to deal with things in your life.
Running from them may not be your answer. You need to get some help to deal with your past life and try not to take to much on your shoulders.
Have you talked to your doctor about your feelings ?
Please message me back if you want to talk more, I do care for you and I am here if you wish me to be........Angel Faith
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (309k points)   7 7 12

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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