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My friend came home from uni the other day. No one knew he was back. I saw him at the train station and asked him why he hadn't told me he was home.

He told me he had been suffering from depression for years, which I already knew. He had got so bad recently and had tried to kill himself. Luckily he didn't completely succeed and was found in time to be taken to hospital. He was telling me he had spent the past two weeks in a psychiatric ward.

He claims he is getting better, but I am so concerned. He is my best friend and when he is at university he is on the other side of the country. I want to support him but I just don't know what to do.

Help?
Country: U.K
    

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3 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by Barker (190 points)   1
Hello,

It's always hard watching the people we care about suffer in pain but the truth of the matter is there isn't a great deal you can do other than be there for him.

Start off by trying to talk to him. See if you can shed some light on what his actual issues are? What is making him feel so down? It must be awful having him go to university so far away but there's still obvious ways of keeping in contact, email him, write letters to each other. Keep in constant contact with each other to know he always has you to talk to.

Have you thought about maybe going with him to see a specialist? It's always good to have someone there with you as support when your going through a tough time.

Things won't get better straight away, these things take time but aslong as you know your trying your best and he knows your there for him then that's all that matters.

Hope you see some improvements.
+1 vote
Profile Photo by Isleworth ANGEL500 (780 points)   1 3
Firstly, it's wonderful that you care so much for your friend. The best thing to do is literally be there for him. Maybe arrange skype conversations when he's away. Encourage him to continue with medical help, but he must be proactive outside of this as well. I'm recovering from depression and anxiety, and honestly when I was trying to get through it, what I most wanted was just someone to be there.

That sounds ridiculous but at times it can make you feel so isolated and alone, for me at least. Sometimes I thought I was going to completely lose my mind. But having a friend helps. So make sure he knows you're there for him.

Offer to go with him to get help if he needs it. Maybe go visit him if you ever have the opportunity.

But I have to tell you, do not make yourself feel responsible for his suffering or anything that occurs as a result of it. I'm sure with a friend who cares as much as you, and having got the help he needs, he'll recover. But don't let his pain pull you down or make you feel it's your fault (not that he would do that on purpose, I just know from experience when someone you love is hurting, it's very easy to take that pain onto yourself)...because then you won't be able to help, really.

Good luck. I really do wish you and your friend the best.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (250k points)   7 7 12
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1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]

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    and under his wings you will find refuge;
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5 You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
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    ten thousand at your right hand,
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8 You will only observe with your eyes
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    I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

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