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Depression has such a hold on me and i am always tired. Tired to live. Relationships always fail. I only hear peoples criticisms of me. I am what I am and what I am is bad. I just want to sleep and not wake up. Death seems so peaceful compared to the physical and emotional pain that I feel all the time. I feel like a burden on those around me and incompetent at work. I cost the health system too much money. One doctor said i wasn't worth tax payers dollars required to provide a possible cure. I forgotten how to be happy. Counsellors want to put me in mental wards.One, who I trusted as a friend, did and took away all my human rights. Parents wanted someone normal and were disappointed when they got me. I Made their lives difficult because i couldn't accept my condition and because i cannot take pain well. I don't feel as though I belong in this society. Tried hard to help people but my own selfishness gets in the way. I don't feel like i have a purpose. I don't want to feel this way anymore.
    

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4 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by Gillespie (270 points)   2
Don't let people tell you that you aren't worth curing. You need to stand up for yourself and tell people what is okay and what isn't. When you hear people critisising you don't let them get away with it. There are so many good things about you and if you take some time for yourself I'm sure you can find peace and be happy. Just think about where you need to be and what you need to be doing. You are worth it all, you are here for a reason.
+1 vote
Profile Photo by karajko ANGEL500 (590 points)   4
Hello, I am Judit, now 32 years old.

When I was younger I tried suiciding twice, thanks to God , it was unsuccessful. I spent time in the mental ward, where all suiciders go.Had nobody to share with, noone to be loved by, and I felt ugly, unwanted, unsuccessful, when I was younger. Life was filled with violance, I was so tired all the time, which is emotional tiredness.I also spent time doing therapy to cope, nothing was a solution.

I left my country, did all sorts of crazy things.I felt so hopeless.

Here I am at 32, like 10 years after all the previous stuff.

I have found peace, still live in another country,in a very happy relationship, getting married soon, having all the right friends, looking great, having great job.My life turned around when I turned around and gave my life to Jesus.

You might not think it is the solution for you, but my life has been great the past 5 years, since I learnt the truth about Him, and I beleive in Him.

Another thing I learnt is that we don`t belong to ourselves, but to God, and we cannot take our own lives.

Heads up! Everyone in life goes through absolutely hopeless situations, even Jesus did. But God can give you strength until life will be great for you.

I am sending you a link of interviews with those who already did try suicide, and how their lives changed.

Love, Judit
0 votes
Profile Photo by karajko ANGEL500 (590 points)   4
I forgot to add the link of interviews in my previous letter. Here it comes:

http://www.cbn.com/700club/features/Amazing/#suicide

Life will turn around, and it will be good!
0 votes
by  
My friend. There’s a beautiful existence that loves every part of you. You have, whether you like it or not, something that thinks of you, something that craves your presence. His name is Jesus. And to him you are called beloved. You may not, similar to me, have much to hope for here but there is a light so much brighter than the dark that people like you and I have to endure. I have faith that if you will utter in a whisper, gently and expectantly, the word Jesus, he can change your heart. You may feel like it’s not worth it but I promise you friend, try to try Jesus. The best of luck amigo...

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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911 ( 999, 112, 111, or ... ) OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.

If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Victims of Crime Connect (US) at 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846)
Boys Town (US) at 1-800-448-3000
Dial 211 (US) at 211
The Trevor Project (US) at 1-866-488-7386
GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
Visit Befrienders for other countries.

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