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+1 vote
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by  
closed ago by HOPE
i want to be a 'better' person. i give to charity and try and be kind and thoughtful towards others but most of the time i still just feel bad about myself. i don't feel like a good person.
i don't like the way i look or act, but find myself looking at others' behaviour and not liking it either. i don't understand why people do bad things and it gets me down all the time. i don't feel like many people like me as a person or care about my thoughts or opinions. i don't feel of value in any area of life - i have no special skills, i'm not good looking, i do not have any trait or expertise that i could make a career out of. i feel that i hold back others.
sometimes i feel desperately unhappy. i have attempted suicide before, but as soon as i was admitted to hospital i knew i did not want to die. sometimes i feel like it is the only way to escape, but i don't think i could actually ever go through with it.

i want to 'find' myself but i do not know how. i wish so much that i could feel comfortable in my own skin, in myself. i have had counselling sessions before at university which were helpful, but it felt like they only just scratched the surface in terms of helping me discover myself. it was strange to be given a view of how i am percieved by others by a person who would not be biased (family). i just want to escape.
Country: uk
closed with the note: Expired
    

4 Answers

+1 vote
by  

What you have is a gift, don't look at it as a burden. You have empathy for others which is something that can't be taught. thats special...
 

As for you finding a purpose for yourself, I have found that volunteering is an awesome way to go. I have volunteeed for refugee services and womens refuge and found it to be so rewarding helping others but in amongst all of that, I learnt alot about myself and what I was capable of achieving. And having empathy towards others is an amazing skill to have when working with others. You also gain work experience which could help you with future employment and you may find a passion for something while doing so...

Wheather you're religous or not I think this prayer could help too ..

 

 

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

0 votes
by  
you must be more better than me i get hate all the time and i think that i need help because i am misunderstood i really like this guy but i have no idea wether he likes me back and i cut my arms but i have bin through a lot you are a good person and if others dont think that then they no what they can do
0 votes
Profile Photo by HOPE ANGEL24K (64.3k points)   7 11 38
I am sure you have many talents waiting for you and others to discover. Please keep exploring, finding your purpose, and creating value.

"i feel like it is the only way to escape" What if suicide is actually a black hole, which you can't escape once you get in? No one living here can tell you the consequence ... All I can tell you is that it is not the solution to any of your "problems". There are real solutions.

You are not alone. We all care about you and we believe in you! You can fight through this temporary difficult time, and there is a great future waiting for you to discover ...
+1 vote
ago by  
You are not alone.  I struggle with the same issues.  I’m not attractive, smart, and people choose the world over me.  I want to be a better person as well, but my vices are also my coping mechanisms.  I’ve never intentionally hurt anyone, and would gladly die to protect a child from harm.  Everybody wants to look good to the world, to be able to reap the benefits and to be able to judge others.  However, this has been the way of the world for all time - the Latin phrase “esse quom videri” means “to be, rather than to appear.”  I’ve never been good at pretending, and that has led me to feel like you do, disappointed in myself and others.  Just know one thing - there are good people in the world.  However, these people do not advertise their goodness.  So, it means they are hard to find, and chances are, they have learned the hard way to be wary of anyone trying to become part of their life, because not everyone appreciates good for the right reasons.  Just know that the fact that you worry about these things means the world is a better place with you in it.  I hope that you find the peace every person deserves, and that with that peace comes the ability to find some happiness.

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Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
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The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
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