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Lately, everyone who's supposed to be my friend has been treating me like ****. I'm actually a really nice person, I promise; I'm kind to everyone and never do anything to make others feel bad about themselves. I even sometimes go out my way to make sure others feel okay but everyone just walks all over me and treats me so terribly and I just don't understand why. I've tried being more mean and assertive but that's just not me and I just feel even worse about myself whenever I do. I'm not asking for everyone to like me, but people could at least respect me and stop making me feel worthless. I can understand if you don't appreciate my kindness, like you didn't ask me to be nice to you, but what did I do to deserve being told to 'shut up, no one cares' in mid sentence. I can take a joke, even when the joke is taken too far, for the sake of our friendship, i'll dismiss it. But when you can see i'm not laughing any more and i've told you to stop, why do you still continue and why do others join in? I get so mad at myself for letting people make me feel like **** and being so nice to those who really don't deserve it . I sit at home and think my day over and it really hurts me. Remembering all those events that occurred during those long six hours of school , where one of 'my friends' were mean to me or put me down, really does depress me. Why are people making me feel so little and insignificant. I feel like I mean nothing to those who I care about most . And 'finding new friends' isn't really an option; I'm at that point in school where everyone has their own little clique and trying to dissemble from my original group of friends and join a new one will only turn me into one of those beg friends who are scraping into other peoples friendship groups.

And, on top of all that, my parents relationship is falling apart; life at home has become so difficult as we're struggling badly financially and my parents are almost always arguing now. I try to just overlook it and carry on with my life but I know if they completely split it will physically as well as mentally have a very big impact on me. I use to rely on my family life to keep me going; knowing that i'm going to come home to a place where I can leave all my problems at school behind and find peace, gave me hope. But now my school AND home life is bad, i'm just so done.
Country: London

2 Answers

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Profile Photo by townley (480 points)   1
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It always seems like the people with the biggest hearts get hurt the most. Just from your post I can tell you're a good person, with a huge heart. Don't let people take that for granted or take advantage of that. I know sometimes life can get overwhelming and all the events that occur can seem like too much to deal with, but trust me when I say you ARE strong enough to handle this. This is just a stepping stone in life that you need to get past to become a stronger person and you're already half way there. If people aren't treating you with the respect you deserve then they aren't worth your time or emotions, don't even give those people the time of day. I know everything seems really hard on you right now, but trust me.. a year from now you will be in a completely different place in your life, looking back on this past year and realizing how much you've grown from these experiences. By then you'll have new friends, new interests, and a new outlook on life. Just give it time and things will get better, have faith. Focus on things that are important to you and things that will better you, and eventually you'll start to notice things looking up. As for your parents, don't worry about things that you can't fix. Let them work out their financial problems, you're young and you have so many other things to worry about than growup problems. They are adults and they will make the decisions they need to so that everything will workout. Don't stress yourself out, it's not worth it. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, start a new hobby or something that interests you and put all your focus into that, as well as your school work, trust me it will pay off in the end when you get your grades back and see how awesome they are. Happiness is a choice, and you are in charge of that, so make the decision to stay happy, because being sad won't change anything. A minute of sadness is 60 seconds of your life you won't get back.
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I just asked my own question online and I happened to notice yours as i was logging out. It was weird because it seemed like a reflection on myself and where I was six months ago. I only have one friend at school and she has a crappy home life so she ends up treating me like **** sometimes too. Also, my parents are also going through financial hardship and are always arguing as well. My father took on a second job that requires him to be gone two weeks out of every month. My family was my rock before we hit our financial crisis. But since then, everything's changed and I can't depend or rely on them for my strength much anymore.

I thought about suicide too. It seemed easier and it seemed like it would end the pain. And I came very close several times but I realized I couldn't do that to myself or to my family. Despite what we were going through, there was a part of me that knew they still loved me and if I went through with my plans, it would just devastate them even more.

I'm not usually one to preach but really, I hit rock bottom and it was in the darkest part of my life that I found my greatest light. I found God. And He has been all that I need. I listen to the Christian station every day in my car - on the way to the store, on the way to work, anywhere. And when I need help, I just stop and pray and ask God to give me comfort. I've never been happier in life and I can see a future for myself that is wide an unlimited.

I'm not saying it's easy every moment of every day but there is someone there now who is constantly showing me love and forgiving me for my mistakes and comforting me and showing me that there is more to life than what I can see in this moment right now. He loves me and I've learned that His love never fails, it never gives up, and it never runs out. He is the one person I can count on.

I'm happier. Things don't stick with me like they used to. My parents fight and argue and when they do, I feel unhappy but that night, it's gone and I'm telling myself that it'll get better.

I am God's creation. He is the Potter, I am the clay. He held me in his hands before I was born and breathed life into me before I came to this world. He's been waiting for the moment when I would turn to him and accept His love. He has plans for me that I cannot see. He has love for me I cannot fathom. He gives me hope to get past today and into tomorrow. He gives me strength to just keep breathing.

I hope this helps.

Keep Hanging On.

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