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+1 vote
Have dated someone for 1 1/2 years, treated me like a queen. moved away to university overseas and broke up with him, treated him like **** to try and seperate myself from him and help him move on because i thought its what i wanted.

he is now talking to a girl, desperately want him back, everything came crashing down because i realised i need him, hes my soulmate. i apologised endlessly and he wont forgive me for the way i treated him and is utterly confused..when before he would of jumped at the chance to be with me again. hes different, mean and arrogant.

desperately asked him to stop talking to this girl while we sort out our issues together. refuses to stop even though shes simply a 'friend'. have told him about my suicidal tendencies and he still will not stop talking to her during this difficult time for me. i feel like hes kicking me while im down. they talk almost every day and she is romantically interested in him. he continues to emphasise they are just friends.

i am going out of my mind and have been previously suicial over the years. i feel like the accumulation of other events in my life have led me to this moment. its cliche, but i literally cannot eat or sleep. i feel like this is gods way of letting me know this time its time, i made the wrong decisions in life and have to pay for how ive treated others.
Country: england

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3 Answers

0 votes
Profile Photo by Jones ANGEL14K+ (15.6k points)   3 7 24
im not sure there's a quick fix for this one - for either of you. it is going to take a bit oftime for you both to realise whether youre right for each other, but if this is what you want, keep in there - try to keep a bit of distance though and try not to get too hung up on the situation/

get out with your friends, get lots of fresh air and exercise to stay in control and things will fall into place. breaking up and emotional stuff can be the pits and when it hits you it can seem like the end of the world - but its not! the right thing will come out in the end and hopefully that will make yousmile.

if you want to keep chatting on here then i'd love to hear from you. letstry to keep your chin up, together!
Thanks so much- your answer was really refreshing! It really is hard to get the situation off my mind. What do I do about this girl that likes him?
Profile Photo by Jones ANGEL14K+ (15.6k points)   3 7 24 not sure there's a lot you can do (or even should do) about his "friend". I don't think you can insist he stops all communication with her as you're still on unknown ground. play it easy and keep cool. Seriously, things will work out the right way in the end, one way or another.

both you and I can appreciate that he may feel hurt, let down etc after you left, but if you two are right , then that's it - end of story. simple. you will get back together and will be stronger than ever, but if there's too much water passed under that bridge and you've drifted apart a bit, then that's no fun in the short term, but we can face that and get you through it if that's what it takes.

when are younext seeing him or speaking? see what's what and let me know how it goes.
good luck
I see him in August when I go back to visit where my friends including him live for 2 weeks. Praying everything turns out fine.. The last thing I want is to have paid a lot of money to visit just to feel like going back home.
0 votes
It may not seem like it at this moment, but maybe on his part there is no feelings for this other girl, but he might need to time to sort out what has taken place, and what has been said. I know that is not what you want to hear at this moment, but the pain will get better and he will start talking to you in time. I would say give it a little bit and then go from there. Call and talk about everyday things, tell him you love him and miss him. Try not to be negative, but supportive. The other girl could be just a support for him, someone that is there for him, I wish you had someone there for you as well. Don't throw in the towel yet so to speak. Be patience and tell him without repeating how sorry you are, give him a little time (not much) and hopefully things will work out.

There is more out there too. Don't give up yet. God knows if I had done something the first time my heart got broke, I would not be here now giving you the same advice I got once. Time is all there every is maybe he just needs a little bit of it to figure out where he is going. All you can do is tell him that you are there, and sorry, and how important he is to you.
Thanks again everybody- I can't tell you how much I appreciate the comments and the support because it is really helping and the advice makes a lot of sense. I'm taking both answers into account whole heartedly. It is just confusing for me at the same time because I have apologized so many times to him- but I respect he is probably a lot more hurt than I realize. He keeps telling me I need to "rely on myself on my own happiness" but I just don't understand how he can say that with confidence when he knows how depressed I'm feeling.
0 votes

Look at the positives. At least you have realised your mistakes and are willing to rectify them. Surround yourself with any family and friends that love and support you. Give him time, and time for you. Be happy that your ex is still willing to talk to you. Some people will forgive and move on. Others won't. Jump on the internet and look for tips on happiness. I bought some self help books to get me throught a tough time. You may also want to take some supplements to lift your mood. St Johns Wort works. Take 2700mg twice a day. Talk a long walk to clear your mind. Walk every day for at least 45 min to an hour. The fresh air will be great for you. Talk about your feelings as much as you can. You will feel alot better. Wishing you all the best. I know you will be fine. heartsmileyheart

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