Hi, Angels. I'm desperate, alone and need help piecing my life back together

Question

I built my 20's on a house of cards which ultimately began to topple at 30.  For good measure, at 32, I decided to drop an atom bomb on my collapsed life.  & now, after getting fired from a job I had for 6 yrs, followed by a break-up after 7 yrs., I moved 1800 mi. away from all friends & frmr life to live w/my mom, 2 jr. high age bros., & their super annoying, ignorant dad. I've been a total recluse, locking myself in my room for the past 5 mos., no job, no income, credit card debt, severe depression. I keep praying to wake up & feel better or just end it, but neither has happened.  I need help.  How to get myself out of this depressing hell hole?!  No job & debt means no money.  I don't shower for days (up to 4-5) in part b/c I don't want to use up what little products I have left because I can't afford to replace them.  I have nowhere to go, know no one here.  & the financial situation at this house is so desperate that when I borrowed the car (driving everywhere here is necessary, & most places are a min. 20 mile roundtrip drive away) 3x last week, I was told they were trying to conserve gas & didn't want me using one of the cars.  I feel so stuck!!  & guilty for burdening this family when their resources are clearly limited.  Truly living paycheck to paycheck here, but I am so insecure about my resume/writing & interviewing that I haven't been able to land a job.  I've applied occasionally, but now that I've been so socially isolated, I am getting very paranoid about how to present myself in interviews, and how to explain this 5 month job gap, let alone be able to brag about myself & answer interview questions.  I went on one group interview this past wk for a grocery store (only interview I've been invited on), which I totally bombed & felt sick to my stomach the whole time.  Where I used to live, I went to weekly therapy and acupuncture, used to be on vitamin supplements and Concerta for ADD.  I basically went cold turkey off all of that as it ran out this past January (which I think also surged the depression  & completely threw my body out of whack by stopping my Rx & supplements for mood, hormones, adrenal function, & cognition like that).  I try to eat fairly well & avoid things that trigger my moods (gluten, alcohol, etc.).  But I still crave cigarettes & think I likely would still smoke if I had $$ and didn't live at "home" w/2 younger bros.  "Home" is a loose term, I've never lived in this state before, & my mom has only lived here for almost 2 yrs.  I'm too embarrassed about the wretchedness my life has become that I don't reach out to the few friends who still talk to me from back home.  My life just feels like it's in total pieces.  & it's not getting any better.  My relationship with my mom was always tense growing up, but had mellowed & I really missed her.  So, I thought moving in would be ok.  It's not.  I have nothing to talk to her about, she's super invasive, & we don't identify w/ each other at all.  She's unbelievably judgmental, insecure, combative, & our politics and religious views could not be more opposing.  I don't feel like I can be me here & keep my mouth shut around most subjects to avoid conflict.  
I am so stuck.  I feel like I don't know how to live.  I need help!
Peace,
Nix

Answer 1

WOW, THATS QUITE A STORY, THANKS FOR SHARING! unfortunately i don't really have any answers but i can identify with some of what you write. i've been unemployed for a long time in the past and it made me really depressed. couldn't see the value of my life. i ignored the friends i had and felt trapped. it took me a while to get out of it, it started with voluntary work and some small jobs. but i can see that you can't even start without the need for a car to travel.. start helping with stuff around the house, show some interest, show that you care. that might open so,me doors. locking yourself away from everything seems like the easiest solution and i understand you completely there, but it is not going to get you anywhere. try to talk with your mother and brothers about how you feel.

it took me a long time and i'm still not talking a lot, but it does help to communicate and get things off your chest. sorry that i can't be of more help. hope this was of any help at all. please know that you are not alone. do share how things are going, i'm here for you.

big hug and God bless you, Jimmie

Answer 2

Hi Friend,
     You are really in a bad situation, and I feel sorry for all you've gone through. I am going to try as a fried, to help you make things better. First thing you might want to do is, find out where the nearest hospital is, and go to the ER. When you are seen, tell the doctor what medications you're supposed to be taking, why you haven't refilled them, then he can go online to look at your records, and prescribe them. Once they are filled, take them like you used to and please make sure you get them before, you run out because, stopping them like you did is not good for your health. I can tell you that some of the ways you are feeling, like depressed, unable to think clearly at job interviews, the anxiety, panic attacks, and the overall changes can be a part of going cold turkey. Ask the people at the hospital for a list of emergency numbers, usually they are all listed on a magnet, and if they have a list of doctors. I know once your back on your meds, settling down in a new town won't be as bad and you will meet new people. As for money and food until you get a job, some states have crises lines you can call listed in the front of phone books but, you can go online those people can help. That is about all I can think to do, I hope I've been of some help, good luck my friend we are here if you need us.

Answer 3

THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too - CatholicShare

https://www.catholicshare.com/these-are-the-3-powerful-prayers-exorcists-use-to-drive-out-evil-you-can-use-it-too/#axzz5aJS8bqNa

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.