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- Migraine Patient
- Bipolarity
- Omni-sexuality
- Open Spirituality
- Failed School due to ilness
- Failed prescription medication causimg worse sympthons of migraine and bipolar disorder. Replaced by holistic and contraversial medicine.

Reasons my parents kicked me out on the streets in amsterdam, ever since I've been to 'friends', shelters, backpacking accros europe. Waiting lists in nethelands even for sick individuals are over 3 years, the goverment has me under surveilance yes, I am now supposingly 'helped'... just to find my health detoriating and suffering terrible agonizing physical and psychological pain. I am 1m 78cm weighing just 48kg. I'm dying on the street, and to stop psychological, physical and social pain now. I want to do my final move, using up all my last reserve to get out of the bushes and throw myself in front of a train... God will forgive me for I can forgive myself... Life has been a wonderful but litterly painful experience I am ready to die now...
Country: Netherlands
    

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2 Answers

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Don't end your life, not yet. I know what it's like to want to, and I also know what it's like to be close to death. I understand what your situation is like quite a lot, apart from being on the streets. But ending it now isn't the answer. I'm not even sure if you'll get this in time but please don't do it. Right now is rough, but pulling through it will be well worth it.

I"m not sure what the country is like over there, but find yourself the nearest city. You're almost of age and old enough to work. some wheres in that city should be a business willing to take someone in for work to get them on their feet. Someone in that city should be kind enough. It seems pretty low to go but you'll need the money for food, your weight is unhealthy and you'll need food. Don't eat to quickly when you get it though you could get sick and waste it.

Please don't give up, it;s hard right now, and I can't say for sure that it'll get better, but I care, I'd care if you jumped infront of that train. If I didn't care I wouldn't be trying to help. There isn't much I can do from here. Along the road you'll find others that care, even just a little bit.  I hope this helps you, even just a little bit. I wish you well and I hope you make it and make it far.
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Please read the following very carefully and pay close attention, for the following advice will help to turn your life around.

Firstly, there is in fact a safe way for you to help heal your bipolarity, and that is by taking the following health food supplements: magnesium, Omega 3 oils and a vitamin B complex, but make sure that the vitamin B complex contains niacin (vitamin B3). Hopefully, these are all available in Amsterdam in large quantities to see you through a course of treatment for a few months, but I don't know how much money you have. The magnesium and vitamin B complex will also help to reduce your migraine problems, particularly vitamin B6, which is vital to help you absorb the magnesium, and vitamin B9. The Omega 3 oils will help your mental health, too. You should also start taking glycine and vitamin D, which will help with your bipolar disorder. Remember to take all these supplements (Omega 3, vitamin B complex, vitamin D, magnesium, zinc) twice a day for the next few months, and things will improve.

You also need to look at your current diet. Does it contain fast food, coffee, cigarettes or (God forbid) drugs? If so, stop using them RIGHT NOW. These will only make your symptoms worse. Assuming you are on a food assistance program, think about choosing foods which provide a balanced diet with the recommended daily allowance of key vitamins and minerals, which will help the supplements improve your mental state.

Finally, if you say you are indeed spiritually open, please consider visiting your local church and explain your story to the priest. Ask for a personal copy of the Bible if you can, and carefully read through it. Your suicidal feelings will gradually begin to go away, providing that you follow the following steps:

1). Accept that you have been powerless in your life so far.

2). Only a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity.

3). Make a decision to turn your will and your life over to God.

4). Create a full list of your life experiences, in the form of a long list, including all past mistakes and bad decisions which have led you into this situation. You must be completely honest, and this list will take up many pages.

5). Admit verbally to first yourself, then to God, and then to another human being the contents of this list.

6). Be ready to allow God to help remove these flaws.

7). In prayer, ask God for help in removing these problems from your life.

8). Create a list of all the people you may have harmed throughout your life, in any way large or small, write down exactly what you have done to harm them, and be willing to make amends to those people.

9). If at all possible, make direct amends to those people by peaceful means, and ask for their forgiveness.

10). Buy a diary, and write down each day anything wrong you have done to yourself and others, and verbally admit it to yourself and to God. Any recurring thoughts and regret about your past should also be written down, and verbally admitted to yourself and to God.

11). Seek to improve your contact with God with at least two prayers each day, and pray for knowledge as to his will for you, and the strength to carry it out in your lifetime.

Following these steps should help you achieve a spiritual awakening that has been missing in your life so far, and will help you on the road to recovery from your present state of mind.

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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911 ( 999, 112, 111, or ... ) OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.

If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
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National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
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TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
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