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When I was younger I got sexually abused a lot and not just by one person. I am 14 now and my dad just died after not seeing him for six years. He was also one of my abusers. I recently started cutting and have nobody to talk to I can not put a burden like this on my mother. My 12 year old brother wants to commit suicide and I don't know what to do. I've tried to go to councliling and am but can't talk to her really because I know her on a personal level. I live on a small island and have nobody to talk to. Help me please!
Country: United States
    

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6 Answers

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I'm sorry to hear this:( but you really shouldn't be cutting yourself, not just for you but for your brother too! It's hard but as an older sibling you need to be strong for him and yourself. It's hard to come over something like sexual abuse and no-one can understand that unless its happened to them! If you feel you dont have anyone to talk to even your councillor then I can definitley understand your pain... Getting your feelings out on here on an anonymous level is probably what is best. Just let all your feelings out on a blog or something. This could even help other people in the same situation as you!! But please do not cut yourself! You are beautiful & no-one is worth cutting yourself over!
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i was abused 20 years ago and have only just started to get help. this has cost me a lot in life. the answer dont give up you are going in the right direction getting help.
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My wife has a similar story to yours, her abuse started when she was eight and only finished when she fled into her first marriage at 18. Two loveless and abusive marriages later she met me. She has just turned 50, we have four kids and three grandkids, and can't be happier with our lives. Never, ever give up. You are not defined by your problems. Accept it has happened, acknowledge it is not your fault, move on. Life is for living, respect yourself and live with dignity.
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Look Sweety, If your brother is serious about suicide you have to tell your mom & it sounds to me like you seriously need to get another counslor because you know her on a personal level & because you do not feel you can confide in her totally.                  

    I realize that your entire family is going through an extreemly rough time but you are a 14 year old girl; Your mom is there to deal with the type of issues you are bringing fourth; that's why she is the mom.

It might not be a bad idea to try & discuss this with your mom.
by  
dear girl, reading your message today has touched my heart, I was abused as a child more than once too and continued to find myself in abusive relationships and situations in my life, to help deal with this I turned to alcohol and drugs, what am I trying to say, im 50 now, the pain never really goes away but you have a whole life ahead of you, it is crucial that you find someone or and organisation that can support you and help you and confirm to you that it was not your fault and that you are a worthwhile person. there is help out there. it takes time and is a slow process. I send you my best wishes
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Ok, u do need help, you are young and you need some help navigating thru what seems to be an overwhelming amount of trouble. u r of course not responsible for any abuse u have suffered or for the shortcomings of adults that were meant to protect and love u.u mention ur mom and say u cannot burden her, but not why. at 14 ur mom is ur number one care giver, if she is not a person who has abused u u must tell her about ur need for help, if u think she won t be able to take it because she is fragile or sick, you must never the less give her the chance to help u. she may surprise u. also u mention a suicidal brother, geez, girl u sure have alot to deal with. but again this is why you need help. u say there is someone u have seen but she knows u too well? is it possible she could recommend someone else?I know how resiliant and truly strong 14year olds can be, i had to be one myself, but my dearest, i still think u need some help. is there any youth leader, church leader, school leader, an adult that u could trust. if so perhaps if you could open up they may have some ideas of how to help u. in the meantime, stay strong dear, if u r spiritual, pray, give these problems to god, and then when you become depressed go to god and ask him to sit with you and hold your hand and help calm ur mind, he really has never failed me.i am praying dear, and actually shedding some tears for u, because i wish i could scoop u up and run, there r people in the world that r just good, u need one, i will certainly be thinking of you, prayong for u and hoping thinks start to improve for u. with love dearest.
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Wow I've been through the same thing as you have. I tell you it was hard for me as well to try to overcome being raped and abused by someone you trust and thought that loved you and just like you  I started cutting myself and wishing death on myself.  But the best thing I think you should do is talk to your mother and tell her how you feel. Also get a therapist and tell them how you feel either way you need to talk out your feelings because the more you keep it in inside you the more it will hurt and try to destroy you. Even if it's online you must talk it out besides taking your anger out on yourself or others. I know how you feel I've been through it and still struggling through it but that doesn't mean ill ever give up and niether should you. Your so young you have a whole life to live sweetheart try to overcome the pain as painful as it is you must over come it.

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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911 ( 999, 112, 111, or ... ) OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.

If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
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National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
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Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
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