My relationship is ending because my partner refuses to try to make herself happy, it is causing me to lose my grip, what can I do?

Question

Help. I am bipolar. I have been in a relationship for 12 years. I believe my girlfriend is depressed but I also believe the reason for this is that she feels trapped... but she feels trapped because she CHOOSES not to do anything that could make her happy. She socializes very little and has no hobbies, despite my many warnings over the years that this would make her unhappy. She drinks almost every day then gets nasty with me. I have had thoughts before that there was someone else, when I put it to her she slammed me down... these feelings have come back recently, this time when I talked to her the reaction is different but she still denies it.
I have poured myself into making the relationship work whilst managing my own problems, my other half has just gone through the motions. We have 3 amazing children, and suddenly she has told me she never should have got into the relationship. She has put little effort in, but when she has things were fantastic. Now, rather than try to be happy, she just wants ME to leave my family. I am still trying to inspire her into making herself happy, but she just wont try.  I am losing my grip on my own depression, I feel so low that I am afraid of even admitting how bad I feel. I am a very open person, I have tried to talk to my partner so many times about how I feel and about how she feels, she never has anything to say about how I feel and when I ask her how she feels the only answer she has ever given me is "I dunno..." What can I do?

Answer 1

A very honest assessment of your personal situation. At this time I would recommend meeting with a trained marriage counselor as a couple and establishing some open and honest lines of communication through a mediator, the counselor. Clearly, you each have needs and meeting with a counselor may assist in bringing these needs out into the open where the two of you can then work to fulfill them. Best of success to you, your girlfriend and your children.