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If I do not get some sort of help within the next 2 days, I will be gone. Literally. I have been unemployed for 3 months. Social Services will not help except for food stamps, which I just received this week. Medicaid takes 3 months. Thank God I am healthy.  I have looked everywhere for a job. I'll do anything. McDonalds and Pizza Hut I have been waiting on for a month and they keep saying they're still looking, yet they post vacancies.  I have no car.  I live with my poor mother who relies on her social security. She has bills she has to pay which leaves her just enough for herself to live on. At least I have a roof over my head, but she will be leaving next week  for someplace cheaper. I cannot go with her.   Tell me what I am going to do?  I pray to God every single day, all day actually.  All I need is a job.  All I need is a little but of money to help me till I get a paycheck.  I keep reading about positive affirmation.  I have none left.  I am so tired and so exhausted.  If I leave, I will have left my family with bills that I've accumulated when I had a job. Why am I so stupid?  Oh no, that will never happen to me! Yea, right!  All of stuff is in a storage unit, which now I can't pay for.  I asked for an extension. They said I have to give them the money next week or it will go to auction.  I'd love to have a "garage sale" and sell everything, but I need money to place ads in our local paper.  Posters at the grocery store aren't allowed.  Do these suicide helplines really help?  Are they going to roll their eyes at me because they know how stupid I am?  I need answers on what to do, not just talk.  I cannot believe this is happening to me.  Where is the Light at the end of the tunnel?!! I have exhausted any solution.....apply for ANY job, social services, my local church (ha!), friends/family (they're struggling too)   Please Go, Help Me!!!  I can't scream any louder without killing myself. Like I said, I am below rock bottom.
Country: USA
    

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2 Answers

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Everything will be okay in time... everyone has there struggles, and God puts them through it for a reason, to help them get stronger, tok now the ropes of life better. this bump in your life with come in handy later down the line. life is a waiting game. all you can do is waiting and push and struggle to gewhat you want. but stay strong most importantly. life will turn around for you. i promise. just open that door.
by  
Thank you. I know I need to stay strong, but I am so tired.  I just have to keep looking up. But, I am really really really really really struggling right now and I would love to know why God is doing this to me. I have appreciated EVERYTHING He has given me throughout my life. I walk by people and smile and say Hello, and no one would ever know I am so sick inside,  I feel like walking up to someone and hug them and tell them to tell me I'll be OK.   But I'm doing such stupid things just to get by.  I am lying, stealing, cheating...anything to stay alive right now.  Is this what God wants me to do?  No, I don't think so.  Now I'm so deep I'm afraid I won't make it.  All I need ALL I NEED is a little glimmer of hope, just a sign from Above to let me know I will make it and I will be happy and prosperous. Isn't that what this life is all about?
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edited
Me again.....Still looking for a sign!   Yesterday, I applied for TWO jobs online.  They look pretty good.  One is for  a Medical Asst, which I went to school for 2 yrs ago and rec'd an AA degree. The other is for a secretarial job with the county school administration office...the nice thing about this one is that the offices are literally right down the street where I live...convenient and considered a gov't job with good benefits.  Either one would be good.  I just have to wait, which I do NOT want to do. I think I'm gonna call them today and find out how long.  I know the secretary job expires this week, so I'd have to wait on that one. But the Med Asst job I'll call today and find out what the next steps will be. I just hope and pray they don't pull up my credit report.  It is SO bad.  Personally, I think it's unfair to base a job on your credit report.  A credit report is so black and white and doesn't explain why it's so bad PLUS what's that got to do with my qualifications and desperately needing employment?   Meanwhile, I still need money to pay for  my bills which have already been extended twice....no more extensions.  They won't even let me pay $20 which is a lot for me, just something. No, they need the full amount.  If I can only hold on a little longer...I have to.  I read these messages from other people and I know it could be worse.  I have no children living with me, I have no husband who coiuld be abusive. But I do live with my Mom who can be emotionally and mentally abusive because she knows all the stupid things I've done and keeps rubbing it my face.  Who would ever believe the two of us were so close. People thought we were sisters because we could say anything to each other.  We'd go on vacations together. We had so much fun together, Then I got desperate and needed money. Well, as I started out with this message....I'm still looking for a sign!    I heard if you find a dime on the ground, an angel is with you.  I keep looking...No dime !!!   :-)

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