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+2 votes
I feel like I am a cook and cleaner to everyone, i'm only here when they want something, the rest of the time i'm invisible, and when I want to help and know that I could be valuable i'm shut out!! I really don't see much point in being here anymore but i don't have the guts to end my life although the thoughts and plans are there, I never quite manage to go through with it, I guess my question is would it be so bad of me if I did it. And is it truly a life if your only living it because you don't want others to feel guilty if you ended it. How do you get through to people that this is how you feel and why you feel that way if they just won't listen and  tell you your being selfish or your timing is bad?
Country: margate kent uk

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5 Answers

0 votes
Profile Photo by justdavenow ANGEL18K+ (21.9k points)   4 6 16
I feel for you and wish the best for you. I believe the last sentence is key. You do not want to truly end your life because I believe you understand deep down that it would be a terrible personal tragedy to lose the rest of your earthly potential before you have lived as intended. You are loved, please don't ever miss that or forget. So, how to get through to people? I don't know much about your situation. Without knowing much, this is what would recommend. Either ask for a professional mental health or relationship counselor or if you can, just go to one. You'll definitely find acceptance and understanding there. They are also very capable at bringing in other members of your family and explaining how their actions are affecting you. I feel this will be a great help to you. Much love, be well
You are so not alone in how you feel love.  I too share exactly the same feelings.  I have given my whole life to my children, I no they love me in their own way I suppose, but, i'm only here when they want something - that is the way I feel.  I have 6 grown up kids now, 2 still live with me - 26yrs and 24yrs of age.  I work hard, on my days off I spend sorting this house out and the mess they leave!  They continually mess it up, I don't mean just a little mess, I mean a disgusting mess and a massive amount of dirty dishes - so much so, you cant even move in the kitchen!  I clean it in the end, but before the day is through, its all back again!  I have even removed all the dishes and locked them away leaving just one plate, one knife, one fork etc it gradually starts to come back to normal and you bring down some more things, only to all start over again! :(  They don't pay their way and leave you without electric or gas etc your borrowing to get by, and they don't seem to care :(   But you feel guilty when you go on about it to them, or just plane give up and don't buy food or electric etc
I'm rambling, sorry, but I no how you feel, your not alone :( x
Profile Photo by justdavenow ANGEL18K+ (21.9k points)   4 6 16
I understand your situation is difficult. I feel for you and understand that you feel that familiar and uncomfortable struggle between being upset and wanting to "love" them at the same time. There are aspects of our society which are essentially harming our parent/child relationships. I would simply suggest stepping back and realizing that they are now grown. As adults, they must be allowed to live and LEARN by experience that life demands responsibility at some level. It is time to transition from being mother to something else - :) Not sure what term to use. Basically, its time to stop taking care of them. My best to you
+1 vote
I understand completely.  Truly I do.  Just add taxi driver to the list.  However, I believe in the value of our lives.  I don't even know you and I can tell you have a heart that wants to contribute.  

My hope is that you talk with a counselor.  It won't change ANYTHING about the people around you, but it might change you.  

I also think that perhaps your gifts and skills might be utilized to reach out and help ELSEWHERE.  You can branch out on your own and touch lives that WANT to be touched, that NEED to be touched.  You can do so without rancor or bitterness towards the underappreciative in your life.  Find MORE purpose.  And it can be a quiet purpose.  You can find a beautiful outlet to your energy and ideas.  And in the meantime?  Please see a counselor, talk about your complaints, possibly get on some medication (I take them...they help.)  And get on with living and loving those around you.  Your efforts will be returned to you.  God bless you.
+1 vote
A friend of mine once said that if things were not going well in your life then do something, anything, to change your situation.  I'm sure self harm was not one of the options. It sounds that you are used to being subservient to others, and need to concentrate more on YOUR needs.

The fact that you consider timing and feelings of others hopefuly indicates that you are not truly convinced of the self-harm solution.  I believe that if you are at this stage then speaking out for yourself should be an easier alternative.  Usually, speaking up and voicing your concerns leads to meaningful conversation with your employer/family etc.  Focus on the end-game, 'where I want to be', and what you will do if the-end game is not achieved.  This could involve further training.

Above all, this is about you, not others.  Plan alternative opporutinities. Explore alternative opportunities in your current employment.

Good Luck!
0 votes
Start living life your way.  Resign from your current position in life.  Make them see that you have better things to do in life than be their doormat.  This is one of the worst examples of being taken for granted I have seen in a VERY long time.  If no one cares enough to listen to you, let your absence speak for you.  Life is too short to be treated this way.  Make plans to leave and live a life of your choosing rather than make plans to die.  It is the question everyone faces.  Are you planning to live or to die?  No one is exempt actually.  Take my advice and choose life.  Just remember, once you commit to living your own life, don't you dare back down.  You are in pain because you are in a prison.  Remember that!
+1 vote
You are very important and useful to your Maker, God.  It does not matter what you do as long as you do it well. Keep the faith that the future brings good things to those who wait.

A painless way to die is called, natural death, after serving others.  No matter how you serve, a waitress, dishwasher, fertilizer distribution or a doctor, remember, you served others - thats why we are here.





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