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+1 vote
Well, to sum things up in my situation in life at the moment, I am living with my fiance in the house we had bought last year; I am in my career (full-time job); healthy; no kids; not getting married anytime soon. Sounds great right?

Just recently, I confessed to my mom on pain issues her and my dad have caused me all my life. (Mom was not all there and dad just pretty much wasn't there). All in all, I was the adult in the household, making the decisions and going through my childhood sticking with studies and extra-curricular activities. I had no youth-like life when I was a kid.

I am getting very depressed over this, wishing I could turn back that clock and go back to my youth and really enjoy the glorious moments of that age.

I was never ever given this positive outlook on life of me getting older (nor was I given a good self image of myself - my dad told me countless times I  was not pretty and mother never retaliated or denied anything he said).

Please help. I am really heart broken, and feel like I missed out on so much. Help. :'( I wanna be young and naive again.
Country: USA

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3 Answers

0 votes
Profile Photo by justdavenow ANGEL18K+ (21.9k points)   4 6 17
First, this is not a rare phenomenon. I happens a lot and you are not alone. To have been so mature about it is awesome! Well done. And, you have the experience and wisdom to not pass on troubles to a new generation. You'll do it right. Therapy is essential for you I feel. You do need some talk time. It will help. Finally, ... being youthful of mind is an attitude and lifestyle and has absolutely nothing to do with age :) I discovered a sort of youth a few years ago. Its good. My key was to start working out and taking supplements. Vitamins, healthy oils, garlic, turmeric, cinnamon ... :) So good look, seek that therapy and be young at heart. It'll be ok. Much love
+2 votes
Hello 27! I am 28. Frightening isn't it? I also had a really lame time growing up and feel like I never got to have a happy childhood. I thought all of my recent problems have been because I haven't gotten it financially together enough to move out of my parents house yet, i'm single, and because of health problems. So it's funny right now to see someone go through the same problem, who has the things that I beat myself up for not having :)

Anyways, I just read a quote somewhere the other day, I forget where. Probably facebook. The gist was, sometimes we got to recreate our own childhood. So just because we never got to really be kids, doesn't mean that we can't do whatever it takes now to lead a life that makes us very happy. The thing is, you can't turn back time, you can't get those years back, you can't really change how your parents talked to you when you were younger. that has already all passed, there's no reason to keep sweating it. You are an adult now with so much to look forward to. You can do whatever you want! Why not make sure every day is a good one from now on? Make a youth- like life for yourself now. Have fun with your fiance, play games, eat whatever you want for dinner. Just because your childhood wasn't positive doesn't mean you can't try committing yourself to positivity today.

Maybe you (we) did miss out on a bunch of stuff growing up. Now that we've fully digested that, let's start being young and naive. I stopped watching the news and starting doing art again. How about you? :) Good luck!
+2 votes
I have two older brothers, now in their 60s who have had similar life-long issues with our parents and with each other.  I share the same parents and upbringing albeit I was the youngest (5 years between me and my oldest brother).  The basic difference between my brothers and myself is that I view the past as the past and no bearing on today or my future, but they blame every negatrive event in their lives on their childhood experience.

All I can say is that you should focus on yourself in todays world.  If you want to change things then make those changes; but make sure those changes are made not as a means to escape, but as a means to achieve what YOU desire.  Only YOU can affect your life, no one else.  Put your past aside, focus on what you would like to achieve, determine what you need to do to get to your goals, and make sure YOU stay in charge of the journey.

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