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I'm 22 and I was diagnosed with crohns disease about 2 years ago. Its rocked my life in good and bad ways. However it did knock me out of my dream of joining the peace corps, as well as knocking me into a debt I cant crawl out of.
I went to college right after high school, like with in 2 weeks, I passed every class with an A and had a promising future. My internship turned into my first full time job doing exactly what I loved doing. I had plans set and ready, a boyfriend that loved me, and my familys support. About a month after graduating I became ill, I was placed in the hospital and no one could figure out what was wrong, My appendix was rotting as well as my intestines and I was having ulcers tare apart my stomach, I was in constant pain and the medications did little to help. When I was finally better and released, my grace period on loans was over, I had no car insurance and owed so much money to bills I hadnt even thought about. My boyfriend left me in the middle of all of it deciding that a sick girl was not who he wanted by his side. I had been fired, and the huge gap in my employment ment jobs would be hard to get. I litterally had nothing and got dropped on my **** with a disease I knew little about.
Now however I have been working with my doctor and off my medication so I can join the peace corps and fallow threw with what I wanted in life, a career that allowed me to help people. One of the only things I care fear is that debt is drowning me, and My job pays so little I barely make rent, I have no family anymore to lean on and friends are few and far between, and forget about a man in my life because no one wants a broken toy. Thats what I've turned into... This broken play thing that simply would rather die right now than keep living in this state of being sick and not having anything to turn too... I'm two steps from being homeless.. I have no food in my house and I hate looking for pity so I dont tell anyone, I keep hoping for this break in thought that allows all this clairty in but in reality I just want to run away and forget this life ever existed... I just need someone to finally grab my hand and show me what I'm supposed to do, I'm so lost and scared... Im becoming depressed and slobby because I just dont care anymore about myself. I want to save the world and that seems like an easy task rather than looking in the mirror and telling myself what to do... I've tried counseling I've tried reaching out to my mom, or a "friend" but doors just keep slamming in my face.. I just need something... I need a leg to stand on and a person next to me just guiding me threw my fears. I should also mention my mom and I are close but she has cancer and is also on her own. I give her what money I can but its really just putting me further behind and I cant tell her that because then where would she be... I would also move back in with her but my roommate will only let me move out if I pay him the remaining months worth of rent... So im litterally stuck in a place i cant afford with an illness I cant afford to have, A starving belly, no friends, a dying mother, and a lost and scared mind that wont let me get any sleep... someone just please help me...
Country: united states

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2 Answers

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Profile Photo by (320 points)  
This might seem like a strange way to start off but WELL DONE I am extremely proud that you have got this far and you should be too!

I know it doesn't seem like it now but if you can, try to stop and look back over the time since you were taken ill and see what you have achieved. You have managed to get better, get off your meds, get a job and start mobilising your long term goal of getting into the Peace Corps - that last one is much more than a lot of people who have no challenges to face are able to do by the time they're 40 let alone 22.

It's clear that you are a very intelligent ans capable young women with a huge amount of strength. be proud of that and use it, you can't fix everything all at once so trying to mentally solve all of these things at the same time will only fuel your sense of hopelessness. It is not easy I know but try to tackle one thing at a time- for example: could you make it to the end of the month then move out? If you then moved in with your mum you could give her some of the money you were paying as rent in your current place and still have a little extra for yourself? It seems like starting with your living environment would be the best place as from there you can look at the next challenge.


Most of all don't give up and don't feel alone because you are not. Never feel like telling people you need help is looking for pity; how would you react if somone came to you with exactly the same situation - I'm guessing you would try and help. Don't close yourself away, put faith in the goodwill of others but don't pin your hopes on it - if it doesn't come that's their issue not yours you are strong enough to find away.

Respect and look after yourself, eat fresh food that you can buy from a market (make lots of salads and homemade soup - it's cheap and you can have fun being creative) and try to do some exercise; if nothing else it will help switch your mind of for a while.

As I said you have done huge things already so you just need to keep being pro-active and deal with things one at a time. You can always come back here and ask more questions.

Good luck, everything you have said makes me believe you can do this.
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Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (309k points)   7 7 12

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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