Sorry its long but help i want to stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????

Question

hello im 12 im a girl and i **** pillows ( i think this is very bad ) i have been ******* pillows for 8 years now and i need help!!! it started when i was 5 i walked in my mum`s and dad`s room while they were mating , they told me i have to go away so i did, BUT i started ******* barbie dolls when everyone else was asleep , then when we moved i started doing it on pillows , when ever im alone i do it.....so i try being next to people but it never works (i feel very mad at my self for doing that i told my self i wont do it this year but guess what it happend few mins ago) ( i hate my life ) each time when im finished i punch my tummy ( i hope i wont be pregnent ) please please all i want is to be normal like other girls ....................                   at school i feel lonely.......i always pray to God, but it never works i always CRY!!! I never told my mum or dad cause they would be terrified of what im doing once i told my mum when i was 8 but she cried and looked at me she told me to get away from her i told my mum i wont do it any more but look at what im doing now ( i just want to have a normal LIFE )                                                                         
I NEED HELP FAST PLEASE TELL ME THE ANSWER  ( i dont wanna ****  ) i do not want anyone  saying  its normal cause its NOT!!! please help

Answer 1

Hey :)

I want to help you but I am having trouble understanding what it is you are struggling with my love... 

Are you able to explain without **** and use words so I can understand how I can help?

Thanks

Angel_Helena xx

Answer 2

You were shocked when you saw your parents, thats understandable, really it is, but don't let it huant you, they were not doing anything wrong, just should have a locked door, I guess. At that age you should not know about sex, but, you can't turn back the clock now.

You may have got the idea from what you saw, you started early, but eventually, especially at pubery you would have found out about it anyway, all boys and girls do, I guess they have to, its life, none of us would be here without it would we? Try to forgive that time, don't think about it. No one was at fult, except perhaps your parents for being careless.

If you want to cut down say you will do it only 2 / 3 times a week, make a mark in a diary or something, that may help you to stick to it. You feel guilty because you started early, but it is not unknown, many stories on the internet.

But I don't see why you should stop completly, it is not wrong, and though you said not to say it, you are not the first girl, even at a young age, and all girls or nearly all during puberty or soon after do it too. It does not mean you will grow up bad, or be over sexual, or anything like that.

You can NOT become pregnant from doing it, no way! You need sex with a boy for that. Do not punch yourself, that is not helpfull. Make it a part of what you do, then put it (in your mind) in its box till next time.

The reason I say don't stop is this. It will be hard to do, and when you fail you will become more angry with yourself, so I say cut down, I think that way you can feel you are in control if it, not "it" or you.

If there are other issues, other problems then you should deal with those, but make them seperate.

I wish you good luck, and say take care, but beg you to stop being hard on yourself. You should be your own best friend, not your own enemy. I think you are a good person not bad at all, take care.  Roger.

Answer 3

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