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+1 vote
My name is ............... and i am 30 years old now. I lost both my parents at age 8. my birthday is feb 14th day of love lol and lost my mum on 8th Feb and father on the 10th Feb. i then moved into my anties (evil) and uncles house where for the next 9 years i got treated like **** and was beaten and abused metally up to the point of commiting suicide at age 14. my 2 brother where both kicked out at ages 12 and 13, the middle brother asked if he could leave the house and stay somewhere esle to which my antie punched him in the fave with gold ring on which i watched him fly from the top to the bottom. I spent the next 3 years in and out of hostiles and living in a car as had no where else to go, which then i meet the lady i ddid think was my soul mate. we spent 11 years together which we now have a beautifull daughter together. when my daughter was 3 i got cheated on and was blamed of cheating on her to the brother of the man she ran off with as an excuse to justiful her actions. same day i lost my home/family and was stopped seeing my daughter for 6 months, even walked 11 miles there to see her as was told it was fine, when i got there no one was home and so on. right i am lost in life as now i live in a tiny little village with no work or night life etc and have been struggling for the last 2 years, every time i think life will get better i hit another low and yet another problem crops up. i was just wondering if there was anyone out that I could just open up to and get the lot of my chest, people say there is a GOD but and have faith. have been trying all my life to have some faith and looking for light at the end,  have been trying to bottle up all these emotions and hold it all in but  just cant anymore, get tears running done the side of my face and emotional just thinking of silly things now and cant hold them in even when trying they still come. have only ever wanted was a sholder to cry on or someone that will give me a big ******* hug and tell me ever thing will be fine. have never had anyone there to turn to that can help me, my brothers are in the same boat as me. 3 Lost Boys. something when you dont even know your own mothers and fathers birthday,  was never told. If there was a GOD then he is AWOL, many nights spent calling out just to hear my own echos bounce around the room
Country: england

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9 Answers

+2 votes
Profile Photo by Corcoran ANGEL2000+ (2.6k points)   1 2 9
Hey :)

Firstyly, let me say that you are still young enough to turn your life around. You are a good person who has not had the best start in life, not the best guidance or surroundings.

I lost my parents at a young age too and like you have not had the best people around to guide me.

You have to start by letting go of the past and stop being angry about the things that have happened to you because you can't change them. Start by thinking about the future and things that you want to achieve- move away if you can?

If you keep doing the things you have always done-you will keep getting what you have always got- the only person who can change your life is you my love.

The moment you stop relying on others and take the emotion out of your life you will start seeing things for what they are- not what you want them to be.

You are an incredible person- don't let your bad experiences dictate who you are but use them to make you a better person :)

Start living the life you want to lead and come back to me if you would like more guidance xx
+2 votes
you are obviously in a bad place, and feel like there is no-one who understands.  but you have your brothers, make time for each other talk to each other and comfort one another.  today in this day and age you have proved you have access to the internet, use it to find out about your parents.  are the aunt and uncle you stayed with the only family your parents had, you can find out.  try to go to the nhs doctor and ask to be referred to a councilor.  Spend some time on a regular basis writing letters to your daughter.  i know that you can't give them to her just now but one day you will and when she does get them she will know how much you love her.  take care.  take things slowly you have a lot to work through.  but isn't impossible, you can get through this, one step at a time.
+1 vote
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 60
Oh my dear friend,
I know how you feel. Get it all off your chest. Cry it out. You need to cry all the emotions out. You cannot keep it bottled up. It will not let you move forward. I am sorry you lost your parents so young. I am sure that was devastating. How can you make sense of your feelings if you had no idea what was happening at 8? You were only a child who was to be protected, and instead you have had to grow up and FAST!. And to make it worse, you experienced abuse and saw those you loved abused. I can only imagine how scared and helpless you must have felt. Please do not despair. None of this was your fault.

How can you see the good in life when all your taught was to see the absolute worse? The best way I can show is to have you look at your daughter. Everything you have been through has shaped who you are, and has made you stronger. It has led to you having a little girl. Do you want her growing up with the same confusion and hurt you feel now at the loss of your parents? She will ALWAYS be your baby, and she will ALWAYS need you. See in her all the answer to your prayers, and the presence of God.

You have shoulders to cry on -- your brothers. Be a support for each other. Get them together and convince them to get into therapy with you. You can work with a therapist to move past the hurt and the chaos that was left by parents' early death. Up until now you have been in survival mode, and no one blames you. You did what you needed to do to live, but you are still young. It is time to start living. You can still go to school - enter a vocational training program, find work, and then you can start to get shared custody of your daughter. She can't be kept from you. You have rights, and there are legal programs in England that can help you in obtaining custody/visitation. You owe it to her to be in her life. Again, I am sure you do not want her to be 30 and have daddy issues. You also owe to her to be the BEST person you can be.

As far as learning your parents' birthday, there is an easy solution there. You can request your birth certificate. I am sure much of who your parents were has been lost to you and your brothers. But if you want to remember them you do not need to know the details. It is enough to know you loved them and they loved you. Light a candle for them this February, and ask them to help you, to give you strength. They can still hear you and there will always be a part of them with you. So what if you are in a little village? Try to see the positive. For one, I am sure it is less expensive than the city. Second, without any outside distractions you can finally focus on YOU. Please do not continue to ignore your feelings, or turn to band-aid solutions.

I would grab a pillow and just cry. Just release all the negative emotions you have bottled inside. I would also suggest you write out all your feelings and experiences. It may not make sense but in the end it will help you. You need to understand what happened, and to make sense of your emotions. I am here to tell you that EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE! and sending you a HUGE hug, even if it is from cyberspace. I am here if you want to keep talking. Please do not lose hope.
+1 vote
My friend, i would be glad to help you.. The only problem is that im in the US... I understand that you are in need of help, but (insert very cliche line) you just have to not let the downs get to you, try and find somewhere that provides you with a suit for an interview to get a job and to get your daughter back.. i dont think you want your daughter to be without her father. If anything do it for her so she has a someone to look up, someone to wipe away her tears and for someone to hold her when she needs a hug. I know you are trying but for her sake just a little harder.

goodluck to you
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (309k points)   7 7 12
Verses in the Holy Bible about blessings:

Matthew 6:33 ESV / 28 helpful votes

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Luke 12:31 ESV / 7 helpful votes

Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

1 Peter 5:7 ESV / 6 helpful votes

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

James 5:14 ESV / 6 helpful votes

Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.

Hebrews 11:6 ESV / 5 helpful votes

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Philippians 4:6 ESV / 5 helpful votes

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Matthew 16:26 ESV / 5 helpful votes

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

Colossians 3:23 ESV / 4 helpful votes

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

Colossians 3:1 ESV / 4 helpful votes

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

Romans 10:17 ESV / 4 helpful votes

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.

Matthew 6:31-33 ESV / 4 helpful votes

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

1 Thessalonians 4:11 ESV / 3 helpful votes

And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you,

Colossians 1:13 ESV / 3 helpful votes

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son,

Philippians 2:21 ESV / 3 helpful votes

For they all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 6:9 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

1 Corinthians 16:2 ESV / 3 helpful votes

On the first day of every week, each of you is to put something aside and store it up, as he may prosper, so that there will be no collecting when I come.

1 Corinthians 6:9 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,

Acts 2:38 ESV / 3 helpful votes

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

John 15:7 ESV / 3 helpful votes

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

John 14:13-14 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

Luke 16:10 ESV / 3 helpful votes

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.

Mark 16:16 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.

Mark 4:19 ESV / 3 helpful votes

But the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.

Matthew 11:28-30 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 6:19-21 ESV / 3 helpful votes

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Jeremiah 29:13 ESV / 3 helpful votes

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

Proverbs 27:12 ESV / 3 helpful votes

The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.

Proverbs 21:5 ESV / 3 helpful votes

The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

Proverbs 11:1 ESV / 3 helpful votes

A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight.

1 John 5:1 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him.
0 votes
Profile Photo by julie ANGEL500 (810 points)  
Did you know that it says that everything bad that happens to people that love God that God will turn it to their good? Look it up, it's a promise.
0 votes
Profile Photo by julie ANGEL500 (810 points)  
Also, did you know that God will take the revenge if you forgive all those people? And did you know He can heal your broken heart. What about you come to church maybe and check it out. But, of course, remember that maybe you heard Christians are supposed to be the best people, truth is, they are humans too, they have flaws.
0 votes
After all you have been through, I am sure you are a Soldier of God because he is still in you're heart. Just my observation from listening to you're words.. I had this thought just pop into my head while reading you're story. I think you should use you're experience and you're faith in God to help others who are going through a similar plight. Like volunteer or actually work with troubled youth. I see you happy there. I felt lost myself and have not been in touch with him until tonight when I opened my Bible and started with St. John, and I realized happily that he has been with me all along, like he is with you. I hope you have a happy Christmas or boxing day? Right? Lol...anyway  you're echos are not bouncing, they have crossed an ocean, you are not alone, we are never alone, which I have been reminded myself, he is all and he is everywhere, and he is definitely with us all. Its going to okay, he's always been with you and always will be.
Take care, I just lost my Momma and at 54 i feel 5yo and cant stop sobbing.  At leadt you are in UK were they call you Love, i am in Cold Hard America where your only as good as your last paycheck Your Teeth and Your Hair as if you are a F*****g Racehorse.  I want to go back to UK were i was born.  Join a 12 step program, youll get a Higher Power but wont have to deal with Religious BullSxxt!
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (309k points)   7 7 12

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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+1 vote
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asked Oct 18, 2015 by Jess