Hi, I felt so overwhelmed reading this that I had to reply and say something to you.
I've never been a parent or been in a situation like this but I do know what it feels like to loose hope and feel that everything you try to accomplish in life is always knocked back somehow.
I've made some bad choices in my life, the people I've fallen for, the friends I've hung out with in the past but I want you to realise that everything can change and I mean that. One day you might find like I do, that you want to achieve something that day but other days you might not want to face the world because all the pressures of life can feel like their piling on top of you but I want you to know there is always hope.
Don't be afraid to stand on your own and do what you feel, people can tell you how to be and what to do your whole life but you can make choices that can make changes, influence people, help people. Nobody in life is right, there is no wrong and right and everyone is making mistakes and learning from them.
You have the most precious gift in the world, you've given life to something so fantastic and you can be an amazing person and amazing parent. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that you weren't expecting but sometimes this can be the making of someone.
I will tell you that my mum recently died from lung cancer at the age of 49, she was my best friend in life, no one will ever replace her, no one will care about me the way she did as a mother. Your child will feel the same for you, you will be an angel in that childs eyes so please don't let life get you down.
Even if your family don't support you and the father doesn't want to know, all that matters is what you want and what you want for your child. There are organisations that can help you, get in contact with a womens refuge, or maybe just join a baby class, or nursery to meet other mums, you're not alone, and lot's of mums will feel the exact same way as you.
Please take care of yourself, I just read this and just wish I could be there to help you.