Overwhelmed on so many levels and just want to go to sleep forever

Question

I am so overwhelmed in pretty much every area in my life right now. I owe 2000 in rent.  I owe 1000 to a company who is threatening to sue me and ruin me professionally from an old former business in which I got taken advantage of. I am caught up in an abusive relationship with a married man who is draining me dry of money.  He is involved with the company who is threatening to sue me (and has plead my case in the past to them) and every time I try to break the relationship off he uses this.  He is irrational and I am actually terrified of what he will do if I break it off with him.  I left my full time job in September after it became obvious my new boss wanted to be rid of me so I quit before I could be fired.  I have been working on my own for the last few months but any money I earned is now gone.  This guy drained me of all my hard earned money - always demanding and pleading for money.  I am now flat broke and no new work is coming in and I desperately need to be able to pay rent this week and pay this company.  Or else I will be homeless (and I have a cat) and professionally destroyed.  My family does NOT understand and nor are they willing to help financially.   I have no ONE.  I used to be married and my husband left me for another woman and screwed me horribly in the divorce.  I am at least 150 lbs overweight.  I have no money  for food and am down to one loaf of bread.  I am terrified and I spend all day trying to find work. I have a job interview on Friday that I have no idea how I am going to get to as I have no money for the train or good clothes to wear. I can not even do laundry at my place as I rent a room in a house and my landlord is allergic to cats and has asked me to do my laundry outside which I can not afford to do now.  I used to laugh and be full of life. I used to be optimistic and now I am frozen and so so so alone.  All the softness and light that was in me seems to have dried up and drained away.   I have no one to turn to.  I am alone, terrified, hurting and looking at perhaps it would be better if I died.   I have no idea how I am going to get through the next few days. I get so very tired that I just want to lie down and die. To go to sleep forever.  I am so very very very very tired.

Answer 1

Your priority has to be to go to the interview and get the job .Contact your family again or a good friend and ask for help with the train fare . srub yourself up and wear the best of what you have got .above all smile and be positive even if its just for the interview,Above all get a job even if its not exactly what you want

The next step is to take control - Ditch the guy at all costs he;s doing you no favours

                                                          Contact a debt agency and negotiate repayments of your debts

                                                           Make peace with your family you need them

                                                           If the weight bothers you then loose it

Above all don't give in you'll find happiness in the most unlikely places

Answer 2

Right..let me stop you right there and say..put all of those worries to one side.

The first thing you need to change is your attitude. It is completely wrong and your situation will NOT change until you change your attitude and outlook on life. I quit my job in July last year due to workplace bullying and harrasment, I also am in a large amount of debt, with no work currently and recently suffered a miscarriage which very nearly broke me.

I have no sympathy for people who moan about things that they can do something about- like weight gain/being overweight..Eat less and get some exercise. If you put more energy into creating a life for yourself that you would be happy with ie starting a business or getting a job you are happy with instead of food and pointless, meaningless relationships you would start getting somewhere. 

You don't need to have a relationship right now, you clearly are not ready as it sounds like you need to put time and energy into working on yourself before you can even consider letting anyone else in! If you do not take this advice you will be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you do not want and does not make you happy.

Stop wallowing my dear and get up and make steps to start changing your life, stop coming up with excuses and start investing in yourself.

I had a bad day not long ago and I turned the negative thought into a positive- I sat and wrote a list, month by month, of everything that I had achieved last year. You know what? I had achieved far more than I was conciously aware of and I found it really encouraging. Make a realistic list of things you want to achieve this year.

Nobody is going to come along and give you money and make you lose weight and bring Mr Perfect along to meet you- YOU are the only person that can change YOUR life! So what are you waiting for?

Best of luck and sending you lots of positive vibrations.

Please get in touch for further guidance and encouragement.

Helena xx

Answer 3

This is a horrible situation, and no one who comments here will have gone through the exact same situation as you.

When someone feels as low as you do, it's hard to even get up in the morning because you are faced with all this worry, debt is a horrible thing to bare, relationships can also be another burden especially if they are doing nothing to boost your moral and sometimes you just want to eat and over indulge because it's the only nice pleasure you have going in your life.

But there will be a breaking point for you when you get the strength to stand up to it all and I would say rather than look at all these problems as a giant mountain, start by just looking at your feet and taking the first step.

Take one step at a time, set one goal a day if that's all you can manage. Don't be afraid to hit rock bottom because you will get back up again. If you go bankrupt, if you become homeless, there will always be someone going through the exact same and there is enough kindness in society to help support you.

If someone is trapping you and making you feel miserable don't let them cage you because they're not being decent human beings and they have no power over you.

You can start again, you can have a fresh beginning and you can find someone who will treasure you.

Please don't give up hope, give yourself a chance.

 

I really hope you get that job, it might be the fresh start you need.

Answer 4

Anonymous,
I believe changing you attitude to the positives is helpful. For example, you being alive and willing and able to work is great. I hope you can move on from that man. He has his own issues to deal with, God Bless. But you are full of potential and dreams, just let that out. Understand that the negative feelings will be there, but you dont have to let it take you down. Please dont want to die. As a suicide attempt survivor, it is VERY NOT THE WAY TO GO. Surely you are a beautiful and capable person. GO FIND YOUR GOD GIVEN HAPPINESS. THEN SPREAD ONTO THE .