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0-6 i was born to a woman for 1 purpose, money, set for 18 years thing, 6-11 years old i end up being adopted to foster parents who used me and slaved my life away to were i was turning into an animal as i was treated like one, 11 - 18, given to my bio grandparents, i wasnt able to speak for myself or do things for myself, i had even forgotten what my own birth day was cause i never had to worry about since i was becoming dependent on them to remember since they wanted to. 18-22 i jumped ship and left home to be with my bio dad where things are hard and i have to do things i havent done for myself before. I have learned im very angry, hurt, and confused person. I have lived a harsh life from being a money bag to a slave and locked in a room tormented for pleasure to family manipulation to head first into life and hardship..... All i want is to feel happy, to breath and smile, today i had a huge melt down, i cried for 3 hours straight. Im at lost to what to do anymore, im tired of being in pain, im tired of flashback and these "ptsd" issues and anxiety attacks to were it feels impossible to breath.... why, when and how am i able to just be happy, no more pain, i want to be happy!
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2 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by Gordon (170 points)  
My dear:

Please! There are people in worse situations than you!

For the longest time, I felt that I too had no purpose. My mom left me in the hospital when I was born and never once growing up did she call me or even send a dollar to help my grandmother raise me. I was mocked and made fun of by my friends and I thought as I got older that I had no love and no money and so maybe I was not meant to be on earth.

It changed when I moved away. I learned to appreciate myself and cut the negative people out of my life. Then 3 years ago, I met a man who loves me for me. And he cherishes me. Life began to look up too because I worked hard and got a good job and I started to see what I love and now I compete in pageants and just started to model and everything is looking up for me.

The point is, although we go through a lot of tragedy, it helps us to become stronger. It is part of our life story. The saying "what doesn't break us makes us stronger" is actually true. What happens to us in life is what is our lessons that we learn from. Please, they may be painful, but if you can smile, then as time goes by, it gets less painful and life goes on.

Go to www.dramafever.com and look for a show called Fated to Love You. It is in Mandarin Chinese, but has english subtitles. It shows how a girl also went through a lot of heartbreak but ended up finding happiness. Please let me know what you think of it. I know it is not the same thing, but in the beginning of show, she dated a man who was a no good guy and she was giving and wanted to give and give and then the guy not only took all her money but also then cheated on her with another woman on the cruise.

I just had a friend from High School that committed suicide and I heard about it on Facebook. Trust me, that is not a good feeling. And although it caused her to go to a better place, it causes us, her friends and loved ones, pain that will not go away. It lessens over time, but never entirely goes away.

Think about my words and let me know please what you think.
+1 vote
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I am sorry for all your pain  . I was sick of hearing what does not kills you makes you stronger if that was the case Ide be one tough babe .However I am just a flesh and blood human I did find that realizing I had control over what I allowed myself to think about helped alot whenever it felt so terrible i could barely breathe Isaid (what saying in my youth had no effect )" NO!!! I may have been helpless as a child I am not a child any more "  this helped me claim my own power somehow  and Some things I could not find forgiveness in my heart to forgive and wanted revenge for justice that never came, a sweet person said Success is your greatest form of revenge  I said what??? and he spouted of a cliche I still hold myself to til this day Try to be a person of value rather then a person of success because if you are a person of value you are automatically a sucess1!! So to you I say you have value You did not deserve to be treated badly in any way  Stop  for a minute and  VALUE yourself, You have unlimited potential and deserve to be happy and content as much as anyone else!!

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