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+2 votes
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I don't know what to do or where to turn to anymore. I don't even know how to begin. I suppose I ended up here because I just need to tell my story to someone, anyone. I have a wonderful family. My husband and I have 5 children together. He and I dated in high school and went our seperate ways. I got married and had 3 children ( now ages 12, 9 and 5) and he got married and had one( age 7). After my husband of 11 years deserted me for another woman my now husband contacted me and we started talking as friends. ( he had recently divorced too) It seemed like the Lord wanted us to be together and since joining our families there has been more love than I have ever known possible. We now have a 19 month old son together. It all seems so beautiful, except everything seems to be going all wrong. In the community we live in jobs seem to be scarce but we can't move because I share joint custody with my exhusband. My husband was finally able to secure a job and we thought we were going to be alright. Sadly life seems to think otherwise. I am desperately seeking a job but I have no job experience because I have basically always been a stay at home mom. I am also fighting for custody of my children because their father seems to be physically and mentally abusing them. We can not seem to make ends meet no matter how hard we try. We do not live beyond our means, we do not have tv, do not have cell phones (other than a safe link government phone) we drive a 1997 vehicle that was just this past weekend sitting on the side of the highway, it doesn't even have air condition. We also owe on this vehicle because while trying to pay rent we borrowed against it. My husbands checks seem to keep getting smaller every week. We are behind on all of our bills and see no light at the end of this tunnel. The love in this home is what has held us together. On the weekends we play board games and watch dvds together as a family. I know there are people out there with bigger problems than mine, and I know that noone has a quick fix solution. I am trying to stay positive and have faith but its difficult. I have recently applied with the school district and am praying that they give me a chance. Just an hour ago a gentleman from the water company stopped by to cut off our water, all I could do is cry. I have no way to even contact my husband while he is at work to tell him. My 12 year old is currently doing odd and end work at this very moment to help with the bills. Bless his beautiful soul. If you are wondering how is she online if things are so bad, it is because at one point in time when things were good we were able to buy phones, they have long since been shut off and serve no other purpose than to use the internet, which luckily my neighbors have. We have sold everything we own, including our beds, dressers, couches and kitchen table. A friend of mine is letting us her couch. I suppose I am here asking for prayers and words of encouragement. Thank you all that room the time to.read this. God Bless.
Country: USA
    

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3 Answers

+3 votes
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 36

Hello my name is 'Angel Faith' and I have just read your message. What a wonderful person you are,and how lucky you are to be surrounded by love.

Whatever you do, keep this love you have away from the pressures that life gives us at times.

Are we tested for our strength I wonder, but of cause we are, most of us can cope with a test or two, but you have to be strong to stand test after test.

You and your family must keep trying and one day things will change for the better.

Material things are not what life is about, it's loving one another and you have that, LOVE.

Don't give up searching for a job, you will find one. Keep hope in your heart and believe in yourself. Ask your Angels that walk with you, to help when you feel you need it.

Please message me anytime to talk, I am here for you and I care about you............Faith

by  
Thank you for all of your encouraging words. I am trying hard to stay positive because I have learned that being negative gets you no where. I am truly blessed with the love and family I have been given. I know that if a job would just come around for me we would be in a much better place. Your words touched me very deeply because for some reason you reminded me so much of my mom just by the things you said. Thank you again.
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 36
Hi and thank you for replying back. I think you have all it takes to recover from this setback, you are doing all you can, and no one could do more than you. Your positive attitude will see you through, I'm sure.

work is not easy  to find for anyone at the moment, not just in the USA, but here in the UK we also have these issues, all you can do is keep trying, and that you are doing.

With 5 children and the youngest only 19 months, I think you have enough to do and your looking for work, I think there is something special about you.

Is it not possible to work from home ? there are people that go out to work that would only be to pleased for someone to do their cleaning or laundry, or walk the dog. It would help ease the situation a little for you, but I bet you have looked into all those sorts of things.

Your 12 year old son must feel good that he is helping out, give him a 'well done' from me please.

I remember some words from a song " better just a shack were two people care, than a house that has everything" .  

You are welcome to message me back anytime you want to talk out your thoughts, I am here for you anytime. Try to keep smiling, and my love to all your family.................Take care....Faith
by  
Hi Faith, I don't know how to message you except through here. Thank you again, you really are very uplifting. I have looked in to keeping children in my home, however I have to wait for the mom of these children to get a job before she needs my help. I honestly don't know how persistent she is being on looking for work, since her husband is the one trying to get her to find employment.
Profile Photo by faith ANGEL22K+ (22.4k points)   3 7 36
Hi, It is fine to message me here.

I feel you will not be in this situation to long. You are making all the right moves, it's just a matter of time.
My thoughts are with you at all times, and I will get back to your messages as soon as I can.

Its one day at a time at the moment for you, keep hope in your heart and you will make it through.
 There is a better life waiting for you.

Keep me up to date as often as you wish, and feel free to say what you feel it is a way of letting the pressure out, so you have room for other thoughts.

Take care ......I care about you all..............Faith
+2 votes
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59
I'm sorry you are going through so much. But it seems that you have found actual wealth - your family. And it is great that you are pulling through together. I am sure that as a parent you may feel you are not providing for your kids, but this will make them become better human beings, and not act like entitled brats. Pray and keep fighting.

I would suggest you look into bankruptcy. It seems like you really have no way out. Have you tried for government assistance? With such a large family I am sure you would qualify. Does your ex provide any kind of child support? You may want to go to family court in your state and look into that. Lastly, I would suggest to swallow your pride and ask for financial help. It may be uncomfortable asking but your kids are worth it. There are local churches, nonprofit organizations, food banks and even programs with your local dept of water and power where they charge a low set fee or because you have small kids can only charge a certain amount. It's different in every community, but it does not hurt to ask. Go online and search for programs in your community. Ask friends and family to help, and let them know your true situation. If you already have experience taking care of kids why don't you offer to care for the neighborhood kids, and then eventually get a babysitting license. If your 12 year old can find odd jobs, then I think you can hustle and do the same if you don't find a permanent job. The point is to not give-up and keep trying.

If you are fighting for custody, your financial situation will not help- use that as the motivation to get a job. I know it's rough out there and because it is a recession no one is hiring. You may want to go to school instead. Check out your local community college you may be entitled to financial aid which helps with the cost of living expenses. Again, it does not hurt to ask. Just stay positive. I will pray for your family, I hope this helped.
by  
My friend, thank you for your prayers. I can assure you that we have tried quite a few of the things you mentioned. Bankruptcy is an option however when we looked into it they required so much money up front. We do recieve government assistance at the moment, and I am truly blessed by this. Without that help food would be just another worry. As far as going into the community to ask for help, again, we have tried. I am a member of a very small country church who sadly does not have the means to help their congregation. There are two churches within our town that do help people in need, the first one doesn't want to help because we were not a member and they told us that they had someone with in their church who had a large financial burden that they were helping and that their church family, understandably, comes first. The second was only willing to help with 50 but were upset, for lack of better word, that I couldn't get help from my own church.
My ex does not provide child support. When he left I was trying so hard to do right by my children and keep things as peaceful for them as possible that when he handed me the divorce papers he had written I just signed them. In it he had it stated that neither of us were required to pay child support. Looking back now all I have done is made things harder in the long run for my children.
As far as the odd jobs go, I have absolutely no problem with any work given to me. However, we 5 children at home and my husband working, I need something more permanent. A job a day every week or so wouldn't be enough to pay for child care. Neither my husband nor I have family here. My parents are both deceased and his lives in another state. Thank you so much for your prayers. I have applied for multiple jobs, and I am waiting to hear back from any of them. I have also put in for 8 different positions with our school district, I am praying constantly, and asking everyone I know, to pray that they will give me an opportunity to work with them. Thank you again for all of your wonderful suggestions and your prayers. God Bless You.
Profile Photo by goodwill ANGEL24K (33.8k points)   5 12 59
You can file the bankruptcy yourself... Please go online and look. Look at programs beyond your community. If you don't mind telling me what city in mississippi you are in I can give you more info. As for the divorce settlement it is not set in stone as far as the child support is concerned. Go to the family court in your area. Every court has free services for low income applicants- again I would be happy to look this info up for you. Most states will designate an attorney for your children to ensure their rights are protected. You can also tell them your ex's abuse and they will help you obtain full custody. There are many nonprofit org's that can help. I am sorry that the churches there are so close minded- that is not Christ's message.

I still think school may be a good alternative for you. At least til you find a permanent position. There are programs too that will pay for babysitting while your in school. Check with your welfare office. I think you may also want to apply for Section 8 housing or project based housing. If you join the site you can message me directly - look for goodwill. It will be faster. There are resources out there you may just end up going to a different county. Write back if you need it. Good luck!
Profile Photo by daugherty (100 points)   1
Hi, I tried to message you directly after I joined but I couldn't seem too. Thank you for offering to help with this information. If you could message me I would appreciate it since I don't seem to know how.
0 votes
Profile Photo by HOPE ANGEL24K (66.2k points)   7 11 38
Dear Mother of 5,

You are an Angel. Thanks for being strong, positive, and keep fighting.

It brings strength and hope to this world, and I am sure all your hard work will pay off. Please never give up!!

Have you tried calling 211? They have a huge database of all local resources and will be able to point you to the right direction for some financial help.

God Bless you and your family!!
by  
Thank you also my friend. Your words along with others are encouraging. I have tried 211 there was nothing available in my community. I was online looking for resources when I ran across something about 211.  We live in Mississippi, in a very very small town. A lot of things are scarce here. Thank you for taking the time to reply and Thank you for your prayers.

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