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+1 vote
I'm in a relationship but I hurt him and he is the best guy ive ever met. There was something in my past that I wanted to keep hidden so I lied to him to keep it covered up and the he found out. We got past it at first but it keeps coming up over and over again and everytime it does we fall out and he threatens to jump. It was the most horrible part of my life and all I want is to forget about it but we're about to break up over this and i've tried fighting for us but i just don't have the energy anymore. I just dont want to hurt him or anyone again because everytime I see him hurt I die a little inside. I want all of this to end, the thinking about it constantly, hurting him, crying myself to sleep, everything and nobody understands what I went through or why I'm so embarrased that I have to lie about my past. He only sees the lie I told he doesnt see why I lied. I just dont know what to do anymore I'm out of options. I need help out of this dark hole. please help me!!!!
Country: northern ireland

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7 Answers

0 votes
In relationships, things like this tend to happen. Maybe not your exact situation but similar things do occur. You just need to make sure he's the one for you and if fighting for this relationship is really worth it. If he can't get past it and won't hear you out on what happened, maybe it's just not meant to be. But at the same time, it can aslo be worked out as well. It will take time and commitment if you really love him and want to carry on. Just keep asking yourself if what you're doing feels right. If it doesn't feel right, then there's room for improvement and change.

But just keep remembering that people do get hurt in relationships but as time goes on, that pain goes away. Just work on making sure you do what makes YOU happy.
0 votes

There is a saying, If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was your's. If it doesn't, it never was. I can tell that whatever you with held from him was something that you really didn't want to have to explain. But please believe me when I say this ... regardless to what may have happended in your past, you are worthy of having the person you love to love you back unconditionally! You should not have to relive the pain, embarrassment, or misery from your past with the person you love in the present. If the person doesn't understand your reason for not coming forth with the information, that's understandable, but you should not have to fear losing that person. OH NO!, the person who loves you should comfort you and lift you up. Be strong and understand that we all make mistakes and we've all went through situations that were not our fault. NO ONE is perfect on this earth. It may be hard to understand right now, but each day lessens pain, each day is a new day to think in a positive way, each day you need to value your self worth and move toward being and thinking in a positive way, each day you have an opportunity to focus on the number one person in your life ... YOU!

0 votes
Hey, I know a little bit of how a lie can mess up a relationship.  However, you can't just let everything go.  I have some hope for you personally that you could probably use to help your relationship.  It is very simple.  Jesus said in John 3:7, "Ye must be born again."  

Being born again here does not mean being physically born again.  He said, "For which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is Spirit." (John 3:6)

Why? John 3:5, "Except a man be born of water(birth) and of the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God."

Romans 3:23, " For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."

Hebrews 9:27, " is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement."

So how is this hope? "...He hath made Him(Jesus, who did no sin) to be sin for us...that  we might be made the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:21)

Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whososever believeth in him, should not perish, but have ever lasting life."

Romans 10:9, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."
0 votes

I hurt everyday of my life for the dissapointment and pain that I have endured in my life.  I have tried to end it all.   There is nothing anyone can tell you that will make it go away.  It's your acceptance and willingness to get past it, to move on.  There is no easy solution and you can't change the past.  Regret will distroy you, it's useless and it will weigh on your strengh untill you can't move at all.    Don't give in and don't give up on yourself.  Live one miniute at a time.  Wake up everyday and look into that dark whole and accept what has happen and look for a light.  Loss of any kind is painful.  Look for the light one flicker at a time.  You can't change the past.   Letting go is all you can do.  It  hurts like hell but you are worth living for.  Your not alone.  I fight everyday, but I know I have to be worth it.  I was giving life and I have to get through the good and bad.  

For it to work he has to live to forget whatever happen in your past or. what's the point in being unhappy stay strong your a beaitful person and don't let anyone tell you different everyone has a past that's. What makes us human we wouldn't. Be strong if we never had something to overr come love life you can do it
0 votes
Keep praying and I will pray for you too.  My situation is not the same but similar in a different context.  I visited sites offering free rosaries, crucifixes with prayers and books.  I hope something positive happens for you and I very soon.  Empathy should be a human quality we all exert naturally but it seems that animals are better at it than us.

Good Luck, God Bless


Michael USA
+1 vote
Profile Photo by Nik ANGEL500 (530 points)   1

When I was younger, I wouldn hold onto things from the past and it would ultimately effect things in the future. I think you and your boyfriend need to sit down and talk this out. Let him explain his frustration. He has every right to feel the way he does. I mean he wanted you to trust him and you didn't, so he's upset. He wants to be there for you, but not if you can't trust him. Sit down and first let him talk. Don't point fingers "Well you said this.." or "You did this..." That will just make each of you feel cornered. Take ownership for the things you did, he should do the same."I did this because I felt..." "I lied because..." Once you both have disgussed it, close the book to it and move on. Don't bring it up again in a argument. It just refuels the fire you already wanted to extinguish. When you and your boyfriend have your disgussion maybe tell him that you need his help getting you past it. Maybe the both of you could see a therapist together. Let him be there for you as I am sure he wants to be. You need to face your demons so you can move forward. You need to deal and accept your past instead of covering it...Obviously covering it up has not done you much good. So work on dealing with your past. Truth be told he may end the relationship, and if he does continue to work on yourself. If you can't move on from the past then you'll just miss out on the future.

0 votes
Dear to whom it concerns I prayed for you to gain all you need so have faith and it will be so. Also Remember if he really loves you and you him things will work out if not they are not meant to be. I know it's hard hearing that I to have been in a relationship that I didn't want to loose but I did. A few years later and I am now married to a better guy then before and am pregnant with first child. So remember even though it might not work out with him it will with mr right if he isnt. So relax and enjoy the time you have ignore all the negativity and do everything in your power to keep the relationship going. If it dosent work at least you can rest knowing you did everything you could to make the relationship work.
From a friend.

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