dying of loneliness & isolation.

Question

Please help me get a grip - my mum who was my best friend died 2 years ago, my only (truly only) friend died almost 1 year ago, my father has cut me out since Xmas because I don't like his girlfriend that he got with only 6 months after mum died & my only brother told me I wasn't welcome in his home for Xmas because of my argument with dad.
I live alone, have an extremely stressful job as a sales rep and no friends as we reps work alone - I spend my time at work & come home each night & cry alone since Xmas.
At weekends I rarely leave the house & just go back to work on mondays to start the cycle again. This is not a life; its a lonely isolated existence.
You will tell me to join a club or make friends - how do I do that please?
I want to get a grip & make a stable, enjoyable life but havent a clue where to start as I have little money & no free time in the week due to working long lonely hours as arep or should I just end the misery & quietly slip away - my family dont want me so maybe thats an option as they & nobody else seems to want me.
On the flip side; I panic about dying alone like a lonely old lady & my body not being found for months.
Im such a lonely, isolated mess I don't know how to fix myself & seriously wonder if I'm worth fixing and should just slip away out of their way forever.

Desperate47.

Answer 1

Hi, I had been in the same situation before. Yes, it is a state of being solitary but it doesn't need to be unhappy. Trust me, happiness is not given by people, it gradually comes from your own existence. Maybe circumstances necessite that you need to be alone for a while, but don't lose hope. Learn to feel comfortable with being on your own. From what you have written here, I think the main problem maybe the stress from work. Being alone plus working long hours are emotionally draining. If possible at all, please try to go out in the weekend / your off time. Make a few short trips or day trips (not so expensive when compared to long overnight trips). When I feel really stressed out, I do this to reduce pressure. Partly, also to escape and switch my mind completely off from work. Travelling helps people see things in a different perspective. You will re-gain energy and love your life more because it helps you see the good things around you. Another way to be happier is to try volunteering. It helps you continue caring for people (or animals), those people / animals need you so you will become stronger for them. Maybe you don't like travelling or volunttering. It doesn't matter. Just find something different to do, so you can break the stressful / mundane routine. It's the first step towards positive change. Pick anything that can help you feel constructive / restorative.

Life is always difficult, sometimes we hit a low and feel like sinking. However, please remember there are brighter things in life. And you can reach out to connect with them. So please stay strong, do things you enjoy, release pressure and march on. Someone surprisingly nice may be waiting around the corner. Take care and best wishes, H.

Comments

Dear H, Thank you so much - I hadn't thought of volunteering - what a great idea! It will get me out of the house, do something constructive and give me something to focus on instead of my loneliness & isolation being the depressing focus entire weekend.
I'm now going to look online for something local to get involved with.

Much love & grateful thanks from D.47

Answer 2

I'm in a very similar situation. I'm in the US. Contact me and we can talk once a week. This will help. No BS. I'm just a woman who never married and always struggles through life. It's hard. but connecting helps.