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I really need help here. I know it is long but, please... read it.

I have a problem. That makes me feel like boxing the wall and anything that comes my way. I never really felt this before. OK, now I go on to say.

I know, it is long. But, please do read! I really need help!

First of all, I have a physical disablity thus, I use powerchair to get around. I am 18, and my mentality is completly good. I have good physical strength and movement ablities, e.g. I can open doors, buy things and carry them myself, --- and for sure, I can drive selfly e.t.c. (I can do many things for myself. I can talk, see and hear very well.

I feel jailed.

I live with my mother and older brother.

My mother says she gets headach if/when I go out-side, for a walk, to buy something, e.t.c.

(I am not in any way a bad person.) Nor, do I leave at night. What I want is to be able to leave during the weekends, and some after school days. *(When I want.)* ---I mean, I do my homework and things I need to do. I am responsible. Than should I not be free to get out... As long as I am back at a good time about 6-7 and that I am waking up for school. I know what makes me tired, and how to have balance. Plus, I am very energatic. Therefore, require more than some others might.

In addition, now snow has stopped, and the weather is nice. Sometimes, cold but I can drive through great. Put on clothings and I am good to go. Therefore, I am very very very disappointed and all I can be...! Seriously.

Anyways, my head is exploading right now. Please try to understand in my little words, perhaps, redundent, how much hurt I am in. I am not allowed to leave home.

Moving out, I know of. I have mention, and my mother has just went in to cryish, and saddness. As if I said, I was going to crash somewhere. Nor, do I have a job now, as I am focusing on my school. And I am doing very well, in the A section in all my classes. It is also hard for me to move out because, I do not know of a suitable place for me to live own my own right now. As I have no governmently housing that is acessible and washroom e.t.c...

What can I do about this, my brother has always been able to go out. Now he has finished school and even before he was done... He was allowed to go. And most of the time, he has been coming home late around 9-11. Saying he has been in religous place. Which we believe. But, again he is the one always allowed to go out to buy things or whatever, wheneverish he wants to leave he has that freedom.

I do not know what to do...! I am afraid to lose it!

I have not went out for about, 3-4---6 months now. And recently, my mom has sat and said that, her headach is reducing now, since I have stopped going out. I felt like exploading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dropped what I had in my hands and ran out of "my" room. Later, she was saying, why you dropped? You hurt my head.........

Please, try to help me in what I can do. And, sometime back, during this 4-3 months, oneday I left home to take a walk, e.t.c. which on my return she had that "talk" with me. Saying, I should not have left behind her back.

As if I would have left upon telling her.

And that day when I left. I felt scared outside, as I have been in doors for 4-3 months!!!!!!!!!!! As if, I have never seen outside it felt. I felt anxiety!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I stronged myself and went on. Safely returning.
Country: Canada
    

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3 Answers

+2 votes
Profile Photo by Eliah ANGEL2000+ (2.7k points)   2 9
Hi there :) I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I had a slightly similar experience growing up - not that I wasn't allowed out of the house but I grew up in a rather dysfunctional environment and badly wanted to get out. So I know what it's like to feel insanely uncomfortable at home and to want to just breathe without fearing my mother's responses to my slightest actions. In the long run, I've found that studying hard and getting good grades is the best thing you can do for yourself. It's about hanging on really...keep reminding yourself that you're on your way to finding independence.

However, in the meantime, you can still try a few things to keep your sanity :)

Perhaps you can try gently explaining how you feel to your mother? I acknowledge that this may take a few tries. You may not be able to get the kind of unconditional freedom your brother does but perhaps you can secure a 'conditional' freedom at least. For e.g. perhaps you can negotiate a way to go outside in the company of your brother? Or at least a trusted friend?

I understand how suffocating your mother's constant worry can be but I'm sure you realize that it's because she's very concerned about your well-being. Of course you know that you are able and independent but sometimes, our loved ones don't see us the same way. Sometimes, it's a struggle to get them to understand. Please stay strong and brave in the process. Realize that this is a part of living with your physical disability but these circumstances shall pass. One day your mother will see how capable you really are. Things won't always be as uncomfortable and you'll be able to live more freely. It's a matter of keeping up your hopes until then.

Much love and blessings,

Chara
+2 votes
by  
Hi. I read your "whole story" and I'm sorry you are feeling like a prisoner in your own home. I was a little confused on rather or not you are taking physical walks and physically ran out of your room or if you are bound by a wheel chair. No matter what, I do understand your frustration and perhaps, it's a lack of communication between you and your mother. Have you tried talking to her about your feelings of feeling jailed/trapped? In addition to you feeling jailed, please try to understand that parents do not worry about boys as much as they worry about girls; which is the reason why your bother was/is allowed more freedom. You stated that your mother experiences headaches when you're out--it's probably because she's constantly worrying about what "others" may be doing to you when she's not around to protect you; however, it's not because you aren't trusted to be out by yourself, it's the world your mother doesn't trust; thus causing stress and headaches. Your mother may also be experiencing anxiety or trust issues from her past and don't know how to deal with it when you're out; which is why it's extremely important to talk to her. Furthermore, you don't want to move out only because you feel jailed, you should want to move out once you've graduated and financially capable of taking care of yourself because it's not as easy as you think to live on your own. Just remember three things:  Talk to her, understand her, and you're be surprise what you learn. REMEMBER: Boys are normally given more freedom then girls; you need to talk to your mother about your concerns of feeling jailed; and last but not least--which is the most important thing: YOUR MOTHER TRULY LOVES YOU AND DO NOT WANT TO SEE HARM COME TO YOU; however, she may not know how to express it in any other way but keeping you safely at home.Take care of yourself and continue to do good in school; before you know it; you'll be a graduate about to start college and soon afterwards, attending college; living in the dorms and visiting your mother during semester breaks; reflect on your past and appreciate the shelter/protection your mother provided you.
0 votes
Profile Photo ago by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (248k points)   7 7 12
THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too - CatholicShare

https://www.catholicshare.com/these-are-the-3-powerful-prayers-exorcists-use-to-drive-out-evil-you-can-use-it-too/#axzz5aJS8bqNa

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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