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I'm not crazy.  I know I'm just like everyone else: a little anxiety in new situations/ meeting new people, starting and maintaining conversations. Once I get comfortable, I come out of my shell and I'm fine.  I understand that random coincidences happen and I try not to read into things.  But my most recent bout of 'being out of my shell'... I went too far.  Made some mistakes and said some stupid things and probably offended quite a few people.  A moment of clarity caused me to go sober and reconsider my whole life.  I feel like this whole town is against me now.  I can't shake the sense that this is the price I have to pay.  I'm not crazy. But I do know when I'm being messed with. And I don't like it.  And I can't make it stop.  I've considered therapy but not in this town.  I need to leave here and "start fresh" but I don't trust most of the people I know anymore.  I have thick skin and I can laugh at myself and joke around but this is too much.  Several times I was walking down the street- different streets, different times, different days- an ambulance with its sirens on goes by. Sirens stop as they pass me, then come back on.  The way people talk, its all scripted like I'm the only one not in on the joke.  Can't handle much more of this.
Country: USA
    

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4 Answers

+1 vote
by  
It is understandable that if you recently acted out of character, and possibly 'stood out from the crowd' recently that you will feel sensitive and anxious about this. It is possible that one or two folk may have noticed it, or even have commented.

Social embarrassment can be excruciatingly painful and it can spread like an infection.  I became ill, very ill, with a mental/emotional breakdown many years ago and frankly my shame and embarrassment afterwards was so severe that my subsequently severe and dysfunctional behaviour only went to alienate others from me even more until I  became devoid of any friends or social contacts in my neighbourhood for some years.  This was the consequence of my fears. I created the fear that resonated around me.

Take heart and know that your love for yourself and your focus on the kindness and friendliness around you are the means to heal your life right now.

People are people wherever we go - if you were happy before you will be happy again.  

I wish you the very best; I hope to  hear from you on this site again to hear how you move along and through your painful feelings and hopefully - out of them.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (309k points)   7 7 12
Greetings anonymous... try to click on the URL that will surely heal your mind, body & soul...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNc6NuoBxzM  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqtwZWvXux8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPAZbD6fG0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdJddXduWjs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfz9JTyFVxo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAC7mHjdzRU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IActLJH8xHs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8RmJlwwa0g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oljdd9BGrFc

http://www.cbn.com/tv/1418876102001

http://www.cbn.com/tv/1418846102001

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+1 vote
Profile Photo by southeastangel ANGEL3000+ (3.4k points)   2 12
Im pleased you have recognised that this is paranoia,
not you.
Paranoia talks to us,
it tells us stuff that is not true,
Paranoia thinks it's psychic, it thinks it can tell what other people are saying and thinking,
it talks utter rubbish in our ears!
Paranoia does not have to be a permanent state of mind.
Start taking small steps.
Can you be brave and go and apologise to those who you feel you may have offended, say sorry and mean it, explain that you didn't mean to hurt them and that you were being "not your normal self"  it shocked you, and the whole experience has changed your view for the better.
we are all only human and we all do and say things that seem to implode our lifes from time to time, but not so many of us can say sorry,
Only the brave can drop the ego and admit they are only human.
it will improve your self esteem, hold your head up in the street as your an honest and good man.
Your not mad your not bad you just made a mistake.
But you know you did, you feel bad about it and want to make a mends for it, your a good person!
Paranoia feeds off your own negativity about yourself, are you taking and drugs at the moment? Illegal substances are like steroids for paranoia, if you are using you need to think about stopping, you need to give yourself the best chance of sheading the paranioa.
The ambulance thing ....... that happens here too, it wigged me out so i spoke to a driver in the hospital, he explained that they do turn them off when passing pedestrians if there is no other traffic on the road. Speak to them and ask, you'll be amazed at the answer you may get.
Your going through a tough time but it will pass.
Thank you for talking, we are here for you when ever you need to talk my friend
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (309k points)   7 7 12
THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too - CatholicShare

https://www.catholicshare.com/these-are-the-3-powerful-prayers-exorcists-use-to-drive-out-evil-you-can-use-it-too/#axzz5aJS8bqNa

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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