I understand what you are going through. You are using the drinking and drugs as an escape. I dont think they are the root problem. To help you better I would try to figure out what made you want to escape?
Everyone has a purpose in life. It's finding YOUR path that I think you may be struggling with.
I am 30 years old. I have gone through a lot of stuff, I used drugs to escape.
I thought that to be happy and live a fulfilling life I was supposed to have a husband, kid, successful career, 2 cars, nice house, status of material items. I was driven to accomplish this. Once I had it I was miserable. I hated who I was as a person. I hated how superficial I had become. I thought I could buy my friends. I would not listen to any one or get any help. I was shut off from the world.
It took me a very long time, and a very hard struggle to get to where I am at today.
But it started with opening my mind. Stepping outside of my view of myself & life.
I realized that everyone has a purpose in life, something to achieve that will make them feel successful. BUT every single persons life path is different.
Some people do get it from owning a business and being wealthy, some people get it from simply having a family & raising kids, others from being humanitarians, some from traveling the world, some just from over coming their own mind blocks and some are on a path of spiritual enlightenment.
No 2 peoples paths are ever going to be the same. The struggels that we all have to go through to get to a destination will be different. No one will be able to really understand what it is like to be in your shoes. But this is YOUR life. YOU have to choose to live it.
I promise you, if you make an genuine effort to make a change it will happen. You are the only person that you need. All you have to do is have confidence in yourself. There is not one person in this world that is better then you.
Once you believe that you are capable of more, that you are worthy of something better you will start to see changes.
You have an angel with you. They are by your side. They do not judge, they do not preach. They are there to guide you. All you have to do is ask for their help.
Find a quite place to relax where no one will bother you. Try to meditate or just sit there in silence and ask your angel for help. Ask them to guide you to the right path. Ask them to give you the strength to be able to believe in yourself.
They will answer you. Open your mind, open your heart, open your soul to something higher. You are deeper and more spiritual then what you know. You have limited yourself.
I wish I knew more of your circumstances so I could offer you further help. Just remember the first step is going to be believing in yourself. Have confidence in yourself. You deserve better. You are capable of achieving more. You have complete control over your life and how you want to live it. You have a gift that you can offer the world. You just have to have faith in yourself.
I am going through one of the hardest points in my life. There are many days that I just want to run away and never come back. But I know that once I get through this I will be looking back at it and be thankful for what it has taught me. A struggle dosnt have to be a struggle if you look at it as a lesson.
I am more gratitude & appreciation for all the struggles, hardships that I have gone through than I will ever be for the good. Because those hard times taught me things I would of never learned, made me a better person, made me stronger. The happy times are the memory I enjoy the most. But I know I wouldnt of had those either if I had not of had the hard.
Just dont give up.