Asking For Help is Not a Sign of Weakness! It is a brave and critical First Step! ASK a Question Now! (No registration needed.)
+3 votes
Ive known for a while now that I'm not straight and i thought i was alright with it…but for the past year I've been experiencing on and off depression and bouts of self harm. I don't think i know how to deal with it mentally and some advice would really be appreciated right now


Your answer

By submitting an answer you warrant and confirm to us that you agree to comply with the Three Laws of Find Angel : Not-for-Profit, Positive, and Equal. Thank you for making this world a better place, Angel!
Please Contact Us if you need any technical help! Get daily Angel Help Request Notification here!
Be Someone’s Angel Today!

Please enter your answer in the box below:

Your name to display (optional):
Privacy: Your email address will only be used for sending these notifications.
Anti-spam verification:
To avoid this verification in future, please log in or register.

13 Answers

–1 vote
I have some good news for you.  With some guidance, you can deal with this mentally.  Depression will go away if you focus on something else for a long enough period of time.

I have bad news for you.  Your sexuality is eating away at your ability to stay positive.  Depression can come from the knowledge that something is wrong, and the harming yourself is often a sign of it.   Consequentially, not being straight is a sin and a consequence of a sin.  Romans 1:18-27, " For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;  (19)  Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.  (20)  For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:  (21)  Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.  (22)  Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,  (23)  And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.  (24)  Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:  (25)  Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.  (26)  For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:  (27)  And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."
 What is your end if you keep this up? Proverbs 5:3-4 " For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:  (4)  But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword."
 And unless you are saved, you have more than just the consequences for this sin coming as well.
Revelations 21:8, "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death. "
Romans 3:23, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God."
There is a way to escape.  Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."  Ephesians 2:8-9, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  (9)  Not of works, lest any man should boast."
John 14:6, "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. "  John 10:30, "I and my Father are one."  Luke 13:3, " I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish."  Repent means to think differently of.  Romans10:9-11, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.  (10)  For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.  (11)  For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed."
Note: Mary is not God.  Look at what Rebekah said.  Luke 1:43, "And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?"  And what Gabriel told Mary in Luke 1.  Luke 1:26-35  "And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,  (27)  To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.  (28)  And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.  (29)  And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.  (30)  And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.  (31)  And, behold, thou shalt conceive..., and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.  (32)  He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:  (33)  And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.  (34)  Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?  (35)  And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God."  If you put them together, she was a virgin that Jesus came to be born of with her as his mother, and she did not know why the angel was there at first.  If she was God, she would have known.  Psalm 139:4, "For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether."

Perfect peace and perfect rest
God gives us who in distress
Call and in his name confess
Of our own unworthiness.
what is wrong with you , do you want this person harming themselves more??? stupid bible thumper , stupid stupid stupid , understanding and love and care is what this person needs , sexuality isn't a sin  , telling people they have a choice in what gender they are attracted to should be a sin
I am appalled that the moderators allow deeply intolerant and harmful opinions such as the religion-inspired gibberings above.

Your sexuality is part of what and who you are - do not judge yourself as being less than an amazing person, and no less loved by god, just because someone is using someone else's words to justify their own prejudice and hatred.  It can be confusing to realise that your sexuality is not as simple as you thought, and it's nothing to be scared or ashamed of.  Being yourself and finding what's right for you is the most interesting and exciting part of life's journey, and don't let anyone judge you for not being the same as them.
0 votes
Profile Photo by HOPE ANGEL24K (63.5k points)   6 11 38
Please don't let others blame you for your sexuality. Likely, it is not even your choice to make.
It is most important that you accept who you are.

Minor population doesn't mean abnormal. What's more, many normal stuff were once abnormal before.

Your purpose is not to be loved or accepted by everyone. Just keep moving forward and creating value. You will find confidence, love, understanding, respect, happiness ...

Please keep my words:
Show those normal people who laugh at you that superior is one form of abnormal ...
Show your love and passion to this world and the various species living in it ...
Make this world a better place ...

+2 votes
Hi there,

I am gay and absolutely proud of it. The person below me who put their response and cowardly did not mention their name is talking absolute rubbish and saying all the things so often said without any thoughts from such a dull mind. Little do they know the bible was written by man, silly fools. I feel pity for them.  THREE WORDS. GOD IS LOVE. I grew up in a religious environment myself, no longer follow it whatsoever. I found my own religion. Who you are is perfectably acceptable. You need to accept yourself and love yourself no matter what other people may think of you. When you go about asking and for anyones approval to be you and you are invalidated each and everytime, it will only lead to more self loathing of yourself. You do not need anyones approval or for anyone to vaildate you to accept you. Although vaildation is nice you will not always get it so this is when you need to be very strong and vaildate yourself and know within yourself that no matter what God loves you unconditionally. You will not go to to hell for being gay so just love yourself even more. If you dont know what loving yourself means, find out what it means to love yourself and validate your self. Trust me god loves you just as you are! Question is why cant you? All the be
+1 vote
Dear Lois there's one thing that I learned being a christian and that's that us people on earth should not be judged by others. In other words so what if your gay. Thats you and if it's what makes you, you then be that. For God made us all in a unique way. Yes it says in the bible a man should not have relations like a man with a women. But it also said if you can't help yourself sexually it is better to marry then not. Therefor marry any sex will do if that's the way you are. It also says in the bible that as long as you believe in the son of Christ you can go to Heaven. So be yourself and live because you deserve it just like everyone else.
From a friend
+1 vote
Hi, my name is Bianka. I'm a 15 year old girl. I know exactly what you're going through, I've always known I wasn't straight. It started as crushes on girls in 1st grade, to dating girls in 8th. Self-harm is not the way to go with this situation. I was a person that would self-harm for over 9 years because I was different and I knew that nobody would ever like me because of it. I tried every possible thing to escape from the bullies, and even myself. I never wanted to be hated or judged. I finally figured out that I can't change other peoples opinions or them, but I can change myself and how I choose to handle other people. I am here to listen and talk if you need me. Don't give up, believe it or not, YOU'RE needed and WANTED somewhere.
Thank you so so much, i don't think people realise how grateful i am for the positivity given here...and i will try my best to take your advice to heart.
+1 vote
First of all don't hurt yourself, it is OK not to be straight. That isn't what makes a good person your sexual preference, it's what you already have and that is feelings of what is right and wrong. Definitely talking to someone to get advise is the right thing to do and finding someone you can trust to talk to when things are bothering you. You are doing that with your message, so keep reaching out. There are some of us who understand and care about others suffering from lifes issues. Don't give up and realize you are who you are. Understand and love yourself first. Please don't listen to our society which is why most people feel like you do because of what they hear in this mixed up world of ours.
+1 vote
Does it Matter?
I suspect you are harbouring self-doubt, possibly as you feel as is if something is 'wrong' with you, perhaps as a result of the family, society and or world that you grew up in.
To be Gay is to be different from the general majority around you in that you are Gay, nothing more.  You likely don't differ from those around you in all other ways, you have the same likes and dislikes as many, the same intelligence and capability as them, the same aspirations and dreams and others, you feel that you are Gay, like many of them.
Self Harm is not the answer, it feeds the depression and likewise the depression the self harm, it is a cycle that you alone can stop, it serves no purpose to you, nor satisfies any positive desire.  Don't punish yourself because there is no need for that, it makes your negative feelings physical, they aren't they are in your head, wrongly, because there is nothing wrong with you.
Here's a simple exercise, on the hour, every hour you are awake say this to youself as you smile as broadly as you can "I am gay and I am happy with that" (keep smiling) "I am good and opinions of others cannot harm me", " I am gay and happy",  Stick to it ans see how your mood is after the first day, first week, first month.
I'd be interested to hear.  Don;t cheat on the smile, it has to be the same one you use when you really mean it, and in time it will be.
0 votes
Jesus does not condemn or neglect a brother or sister.

First try to stay positive and be brave. From now onward do things you have never done before.
I recommend you visit a church during off peak time and when its really quiet.
Find a comfortable bench, pray knell and sit down quietly.
Stare at Jesus on the Cross and think - How painfully it is for him to be there.
Look at yourself and ask why you are here.
your pains and sufferings is nothing compare with the Lord.
Now close your eyes and just concentrate on your breathing, concentrate on breathing in and breathing out, just remain doing this for sometime - 30 mins - 60 mins as long as you can go,
because the more you do it the more you feel comfortable.

You may not be aware, but slowly the Holy Spirit will come to lift you up, Grace will surround you and the love of Jesus the Lord flows into your heart. Yes, I m telling you, you can feel it
and you will fell it and you will be so comfortable and peaceful.

When you are about to leave the Church, thanks the Holy Spirit, The Lord Jesus and seek his forgiveness for what you have wanted to let it go.

0 votes
I know this was posted a while ago and I hope you are still hanging on. The self harm is an expression of your fear for non acceptance, have you told people? Have the ones closest to you know because then you have some support. If your family are against it at first they will accept it eventually because they love you, and if your friends don't accept it then they aren't worth the time anyway. The people who are meant to be in you life will stand by you no matter what, and that will help you grow and accept yourself as you are. When I went through a rough stage I nearly gave up, I nearly committed suicide until I remembered that all life is precious. Including your own. You will have some falls but pick yourself up and keep trying, eventually you will make it
0 votes
Hi I just bumped into your site online.
I'd be very interested in knowing if there's anything I can do to help you.
I'm a grandmother- I have 16 grandchildren- love them all, they're all wonderful.
I almost committed suicide as a teenager-thank God I didn't- but ever since have always wanted to be there for others who feel that way.
I look forward to hearing from you.
0 votes
I had a friend who was also gay, who said, "God don't make no junk."  God made you the person you are.  Try not to fight being gay.  I am also gay, very closeted, and very confused.  At 59 years old, I've never had a partner.  Even my mother told me people choose their sexuality.  Well, it ain't so.  I still have a dim hope in the back of my mind to meet someone.  And it's not about sex, but about companionship.  You'll meet someone special, when you least expect it.  Trust in that.  Nothing wrong with praying, but really don't fight your sexuality.  Don't flaunt it, but be who you are.  I don't think you hug in public or even hold hands walking on the beach, but what you do in the comfort of your own home is your business.
0 votes
I think what you need to realize is through life you will always have one person YOU ! PEOPLE COME AND GO . Be HAPPY WITH YOUR SELF . It's OK to be who you are and excepting that will only bring you inner peace . Sure maybe some people may not except it but people come and GO . SO WHO CARES IF THEY DONT EXCEPT YOU. YOU EXCEPT YOU ! THrough being honest with your self you will find the right path for you . Everyone has differences and that's what makes us unique. I say except you be you love you . others don't matter as you lay with your self everyday.  You walk with your self everyday . people no matter if you are straight or not will come in and eventually go and new will come in . so why try to hide who you are not from others because who cares about them but from you.  Be free love your self except your self
0 votes
It's 2017, so I think it's no big deal you're gay. Just tell everyone and be done with it. It's your life - you deserve love and to be at peace.

Share this question

Welcome to Angels Online Help Desk, where you can ask questions and receive answers from the public community of ANGELS - people share similar vision and mission of helping others and making this world a better place.

You can ask or answer questions without registering. Spam or any for-profit message is not allowed here. This is NOT a Crowdfunding Site.

Please note that all questions and answers here are OPEN to the PUBLIC. We do NOT evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. We provide the platform for people to share PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and express PUBLIC OPINION. It is NOT a replacement for professional help.

::Terms of Service::

::Get Help Request Alert::



If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Victims of Crime Connect (US) at 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846)
Boys Town (US) at 1-800-448-3000
Dial 211 (US) at 211
The Trevor Project (US) at 1-866-488-7386
GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
Visit Befrienders for other countries.


Inform me of new Angel Help Request

6k questions

13.7k answers


575 users

Related questions

+1 vote
2 answers 97 views
+1 vote
1 answer 92 views
+1 vote
3 answers 109 views
asked Apr 2, 2013 by anonymous