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Dear God, I am writing this hoping you will answer because I feel like my prayers are not heard. It hurts to breathe, I honestly don't think I can take this hurt, anguish, despair, hopelessness anymore. I have lost all desire, I don't have any dreams or passion anymore. For the past three years it has all slowly faded away & now its all gone. You know before then, I always tried to keep a smile on my face, say one day at a time, there's a reason for everything, I always tried to look at the glass as half full not half empty. I can't anymore, it's not in me. I just don't understand, I know that I was never perfect & didn't always make the right choices but honestly after 42 years why can't I have some happiness, some goodness in my life? I just don't understand why I was born, what was the point, the purpose? I know that we are all sinners but I just can't believe that You would create someone to only know lack, disappointment, sadness. All of the little successes in life that most people have & do I haven't been able to experience . I come from a broken home since I was 5, I don't have parents who care about me or anyone for that matter, who really cares about me. Although I could have been married 4 times now I never thought it was the right person. I always thought You would let me know, that I would feel it & know if the right person came along. So I don't have a husband, I don't have children, after working hard for over 14 years at the same family business I no longer have a job & have been unemployed for 3 years & have no income, I don't have my health as 4 years ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis & fibromyalgia, I no longer have a car as I had to sell mine to try & catch up on bills a pay the mortgage on my condo (which was 1 life success that I am thankful for, purchasing my condo) but with no income I am now 2 months behind on my mortgage, 3+ months behind on my association fees, no money for electric, food, medication & everything else needed to live & no where to turn, no where to go. My best days are supposed to be in front of me, not behind me & yet I am worse off than I ever was my entire life. All of the things I overcame, the sexual abuse, moving out & being on my own since I was 17, all to lead to this? I don't get it, I am angry, I am scared because all I think of is dying, step over the balcony railing or the bridge & jump, take the knife into the bathroom, get in the bathtub & slit my wrists....I hate those thoughts I am so scared, what if one day those thoughts turn to actions. Please forgive me God I am so sorry & I so desperately don't want those thoughts, those feelings but they are consuming me. Please God, I beg of You to take them away, give me some relief, some goodness, I want to feel & receive the truth of Your word, I always have believed in Your word but have always felt that for some reason I was excluded from Your word, Your blessings. Please forgive me! I feel so dead inside & so confused, I just don't know how I could possibly continue to breathe under these circumstances because after 42 years & 39 of those years trying to have the right attitude & do the right things (not saying I was perfect & didn't make mistakes, I know I did) this shouldn't be, life should not be like this & I am so broken. I just can't make any sense out of anything! Please God, please help me, I don't want it to be to late! My mind & my body hurt & I need the pain to stop!
Country: USA
    

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3 Answers

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broken so sorry to read how u r feeling.i wish i could make this world a better place for us all.i feel the same ..but this too shall pass...dont quit..hang in there..rest and try to relax and hand all ur troubles up to God hes up all night anyway..let go and let God work it all out for the better. gambler me.
+1 vote
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Broken -

I am praying for you right now . God hears your prayers ! Don't give up ! GODS GRACE is what Im praying for you -HIS LOVE , HIS MERCY  will visit you right now . God : HELP this young lady feel your arms wrapped around her right now . Be a father to her , a Daddy right now ! Touch my sister who has called herself Broken . You Jesus are the repairer of our brokenness and I know you LOVE this young woman - PLEASE bring to her the financial help she needs and restore to her what has been lost . Your Mercies are new every morning and your GRACE is what we ALL need . In Jesus name Have mercy on this soul and touch her life -breathe NEW LIFE into her Lord as only YOU can do . Giver her HOPE again -RESTORE her I pray right now OFather God - Abba (Daddy) BLESS this person MORE than she could contain and heal her broken heart and situation so she can KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that JESUS still HEALS brokenness and nothing is too hard for you Lord -she needs your LOVE to melt away the past ---give her a new beginning in Jesus name -Amen

Don't give up my sister - Jesus is going to come to you and who knows what he will look like but HE HEARS your cries --He sees you --he feels this terrible hurt and you reached out for help and HE is going to help you .

God show yourself to this person in EVERY area she needs you to be her Daddy , her Father , Her Rescuer . --Amen

I know he heard my prayer and together we (you and me) have brought YOU and your needs straight to Jesus himself --The bible promises He will help you .

GRACE GRACE GRACE to you .
0 votes
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Dear to whom it may concern Faith is your first step to feeling better. As you have prayed for help and I to have prayed for you to gain all you need. It will happen just believe and seek, look for it. Look for that good that's coming your way. Suicidal is most defiantly not the answer it only brings more pain. Pain doing it and pain for those left behind. Sometimes there are people who care about you that you are unaware of, they would be the ones to suffer. I don't blame you for feeling suicidal as for what you have said in your story about you , anyone probably would. I know I am now sounding like a broken record but believe for your life to change for the better and it will. As I have asked God to give you all you need and he will.
From a friend

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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 911 ( 999, 112, 111, or ... ) OR GO TO YOUR NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.

If you or someone you know is in an emotional distress or suicidal crisis, please also call:
The Lifeline (US) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The Hopeline (US) at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Domestic Violence (US) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline (US) at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Victims of Crime Connect (US) at 1-855-4VICTIM (855-484-2846)
Boys Town (US) at 1-800-448-3000
Dial 211 (US) at 211
The Trevor Project (US) at 1-866-488-7386
GLBT National Hotline (US) at 1-888-843-4564
TRANS Lifeline (US) at 1-877-565-8860
Crisis Text Line (US) Text START to 741741
Samaritans (UK) at 08457 90 90 90
Mind Infoline (UK) at 0300 123 3393
Rethink Mental Illness (UK) at 0300 5000 927
Breathing Space (Scotland) at 0800 83 85 87
Samaritans (Ireland/ROI) at 1850 60 90 90
1life (Ireland/ROI) at 1800 24 7 100
The Lifeline (New Zealand) at 0800 543 354
The Lifeline (Australia) at 13 11 14
NGF Hopeline (Philippines) at (632) 804-HOPE(4673) or 2919
Visit Befrienders for other countries.

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