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Basically, I am in a bad spot in my life. I am desperate. Ive never asked for help so, here goes nothing.. Okay, my whole life I have been moved from family to family (within my family), my mother is an alcoholic who does A LOT of pills, I had to move out of her house because my fiance and I were living in her garage, no, not a built in garage, a garage with hard ground, no air or heat and on a cushion on the floor. I am 20 years old. I have been beat, abused (kidnapped twice, broken back, etc.. there is a newspaper article about it), and left alone. I met my fiance when I first moved to GA, when I was 12 years old, we have been together ever since. Things went bad for us, very bad. Things are better now, he is all I know and love. Anyways, we had to move out of my mom's house, I was literally getting sick from living in the garage, no my mother isn't a bad person and I love her to death, its just things were complicated, well, I had an awesome job, well, for a 20 year old at least, I got an apartment, my first one and things were great. I was laid off at the beginning of September, it was a temp job so I couldn't file for unemployment, then my rent went up, god knows why, it was $665 a month, now its $715. I thought $665 was good, Ive never had an apartment and no one would help me so I didn't know any better. Well, I ended up getting a new job, which I started last week, so, Ive been two weeks without a paycheck. Matt has been trying so hard to get a job, but its like life hates us. Praying isn't working anymore. We were getting food stamps, but not anymore due to an "error in the system" and we cant re-enroll for another month, we haven't had food in three weeks. The little money I had went to the power bill and gas to get to work. I cant ask my mom for help because she calls me once a month, that's for my car insurance I owe her. She doesn't ask if I am okay or anything. I don't have a father either, so family is out of the question. Its literally just Matt and I. I don't get in trouble, I graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA, I planned on being someone and having a good life I never had growing up. I was going to pawn my car title for rent this month, due on the 1st, but, my title is in both my name and my moms and my mom said NO she wasn't going to be apart of that, I am on my own. She knows I have no food, nothing. Ive tried reaching out to people but I don't know how, Ive always been on my own, since I was 16. Ive been homeless before and I don't want that to happen again. I'm so scared, I have depression, anxiety, bipolar, ptsd, and psychosis. No, I am not crazy. I cry every night and wake up with anxiety attacks, I cant even afford my medicine anymore. I am so scared. I cant lose this apartment. I cant go with out eating. I am on a year lease. Once I get my first paycheck and start getting money again, hopefully I will be okay, but for now, I am scared. I think about suicide every day. I have one friend. She is the only person who would care if I was gone. Its sad when my own family doesn't care. Ive never done anything bad, I don't do drugs, I don't drink or fight, I am a small child. I am not even an adult. I know God is doing this for a reason, but, I cant. I cant handle it. I'm so hungry and sad and depressed. Its not like I have had a bad life, I haven't. Ive learned from everything Ive been through, which, is A LOT, more than anyone would believe, trust me. I need help. I don't even care if its advice. I just need help... please. I'm in this word, alone. I don't want to sound needy or like someone who wants to have stuff handed to me, I am not like that at all. I am very scared for my self and my life. I just don't know what to do... I need to talk to someone before I lose it. );
Country: USA
    

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6 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by Hedges ANGEL4000+ (4.2k points)   3 8
Dear oliviaa I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. You sound like you have been to hell and back. I just want to say I am so proud of you to have gone through so much but still know that there is a God and that he has reasons behind things in life. Thats very true but he is only behind the good in our life not the bad for all good comes from God but evil from evil. Try to remember that when you feel down, at least that way you know God is the good guy and who loves you very much. You are never really alone, none of us are. It does feel like it at times, I know but God is there and he does care for you. As do I and I don't even know you. But you sound lovely and strong if you don't mind me saying as anyone who can still live after what you went through deserves a friend. So here I am. I know that prayers sometimes feel like they don't go nowhere cause life still stinks but when this happens hold onto all the good in your life. Then you are really living. For look for the good and you will find it. Your man for example is one and look for the rest cause there's more. From a friend who cares for you...
+1 vote
by  
The Fathers Love Letter

You may not know me, but I know everything about you — Psalm 139:1 ......I know when you sit down and when you rise up — Psalm 139:2 ......I am familiar with all your ways — Psalm 139:3 ......Even the very hairs on your head are numbered — Matthew 10:29-31 ......For you were made in my image — Genesis 1:27 ......In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28 ......For you are my offspring — Acts 17:28 ......I knew you even before you were conceived — Jeremiah 1:4-5 ......I chose you when I planned creation — Ephesians 1:11-12 ......You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book — Psalm 139:15-16 ......I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live — Acts 17:26 ......You are fearfully and wonderfully made — Psalm 139:14 ......I knit you together in your mother's womb — Psalm 139:13 ......And brought you forth on the day you were born — Psalm 71:6 ......I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44 ......I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love — 1 John 4:16 ...... And it is my desire to lavish my love on you — 1 John 3:1 ...... Simply because you are my child and I am your Father — 1 John 3:1 ......I offer you more than your earthly father ever could — Matthew 7:11 ......For I am the perfect father — Matthew 5:48 ......Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand — James 1:17 ......For I am your provider and I meet all your needs — Matthew 6:31-33 ......My plan for your future has always been filled with hope — Jeremiah 29:11 ......Because I love you with an everlasting love — Jeremiah 31:3 ......My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18......And I rejoice over you with singing — Zephaniah 3:17 ......I will never stop doing good to you — Jeremiah 32:40 ......For you are my treasured possession — Exodus 19:5 ......I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul — Jeremiah 32:41 ......And I want to show you great and marvelous things — Jeremiah 33:3 ......If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me — Deuteronomy 4:29 ......Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart — Psalm 37:4 ......For it is I who gave you those desires — Philippians 2:13 ......I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine — Ephesians 3:20 ......For I am your greatest encourager — 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 ......I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles — 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ......When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you — Psalm 34:18 ......As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart — Isaiah 40:11 ......One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes — Revelation 21:3-4 ......And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4 ......I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23 ......For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed — John 17:26 ......He is the exact representation of my being — Hebrews 1:3 ......He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you — Romans 8:31 ......And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 ......Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled — 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 ......His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you — 1 John 4:10 ......I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love — Romans 8:31-32 ......If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me — 1 John 2:23 ......And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39 .....
+1 vote
by  
Take things one step at a time, dear. Don't lose hope. Try to ask your friend for temporary help to get through these few weeks. As you've got a job and will have a pay cheque soon, you can repay her then. Try to see if nearby churches are offering food or any help. It might be a good idea to talk with people working in churches to see if you can get any temporary help. Also, see if there are things that you can sell so you can get the money to buy food. This is a difficult period but you will get through. Please hold on to your current job. Things will get better as it becomes more stable. Another thing is to get rid of caffeine, it induces depression and anxiety. So stay away from coffee, tea and chocolate. It's good to know you have a loving partner. Please hold on to each other and get through this period. The dark time will pass and good times are ahead. You are not alone. We do care. Stay hopeful. Sending some warm wishes your way.
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (280k points)   7 7 12
Verses in the Holy Bible against suicide:


1 Corinthians 3:16-17 ESV / 626 helpful votes

Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.

Ecclesiastes 7:17 ESV / 530 helpful votes

Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time?

Psalm 34:17-20 ESV / 297 helpful votes

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV / 250 helpful votes

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 173 helpful votes

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

1 Corinthians 6:20 ESV / 116 helpful votes

For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV / 75 helpful votes

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.


Psalm 13:2-4 ESV / 72 helpful votes

How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

Hebrews 11:1-40 ESV / 3 helpful votes

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found, because God had taken him. Now before he was taken he was commended as having pleased God.

Philippians 1:18-26 ESV / 3 helpful votes

What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.

Psalm 139:13 ESV / 2 helpful votes

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

Numbers 11:10-15 ESV / 2 helpful votes

Moses heard the people weeping throughout their clans, everyone at the door of his tent. And the anger of the Lord blazed hotly, and Moses was displeased. Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me, ‘Carry them in your *****, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’ I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me.
+1 vote
by  
Hello,

First, please watch some life after death episodes on YouTube if you have internet connection as I think you have due to writing your story. Some have tried suicide and did not succeed but saw first hand what happens. When you take that last breath, your pain, the pain you have now will be with you for eternity. It is far worse. God is like what a father should be. He teaches lessens. I am three months behind on rent and just had my disability hearing and am awaiting an answer. If the answer is "no", I will be upset, but will pray for an answer of what He wants me to do, as I pray that same prayer now. You are not alone. So, I have exhausted my charity resources but let me tell you what I was able to do this last year as I have been out of work. Go to Modestneeds.com. Since you are actively working, you should be approved. It could take up to a month, but if you have a scanner or fax you will have to send them all your paperwork such as proof of income, your lease, your DL, your bank statements or tax info. They paid 825 rent for me. Contact Catholic Charities. They paid my rent and utilities for a month. Contact the Salvation Army. If they have funds they also have financial assistance for rent and utilities. Most of these charities will allow a one time help per year. I was honest and forthright. All these charities helped me and I was able to sustain about 4 months worth of help but had to provide my disability claim and doctors notes since I was not working. Now I am going to be blunt. I know times are tough but tell your fiance not to come home until he has put in applications from 9 to 5 or on the internet submitting applications. Make that Resume shine and make sure he has a Cover Letter. Deliver pizza's if he has transportation. If you have transportation please don't make the same mistake I did and let your car insurance lapse. I should have begged and pleaded for the 54 dollars I needed to make my payment but was too embarrassed. Now I have to pay over 300 dollars to get my license back. I hope this helps. Read your Bible every night before you go to sleep. This is a time to grow close to God and retain that closeness even after you get through this, and you will, as long as you get up, work and keep that blood circulating. Go for a walk if you need a break and start to feel that hopeless feeling. Sometimes you never know who you will run into. Listen to your heart. Don't ignore it. That is how God speaks to us. By our heart, mind and through others. You have made the first step by posting your plea. Will be in my prayers!



Marianne
0 votes
Profile Photo by dolphin007 ANGEL24K (280k points)   7 7 12
THESE ARE THE 3 POWERFUL PRAYERS EXORCIST USE TO DRIVE OUT EVIL - You Can Use It Too - CatholicShare

https://www.catholicshare.com/these-are-the-3-powerful-prayers-exorcists-use-to-drive-out-evil-you-can-use-it-too/#axzz5aJS8bqNa

1. Anima Christi

Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; within Thy wounds, hide me; let me never be separated from Thee; from the evil one, deliver me; at the hour of my death, call me and bid me come to Thee, that with Thy saints, I may praise Thee forever and ever. Amen.

2. Prayer Against Malefice from the Greek Ritual

God, our Lord, King of ages, All-powerful and All-mighty, You Who made everything and Who transform everything simply by Your will. You Who in Babylon changed into dew the flames of the ‘seven-times hotter’ furnace and protected and saved the three holy children. You are the doctor and the physician of our soul. You are the salvation of those who turn to You.

We beseech You to make powerless, banish, and drive out every diabolic power, presence, and machination; every evil influence, malefice, or evil eye and all evil actions aimed against Your servant [name of person/s]. Where there is envy and malice, give us an abundance of goodness, endurance, victory, and charity.

O Lord, You Who love man, we beg You to reach out Your powerful hands and Your most high and mighty arms and send the angel of peace over us, to protect us, body and soul. May he keep at bay and vanquish every evil power, every poison or malice invoked against us by corrupt and envious people.

Then, under the protection of Your authority may we sing, in gratitude, ‘The Lord is my salvation; whom should I fear? I will not fear evil because You are with me, my God, my strength, my powerful Lord, Lord of peace, Father of all ages.”

Yes, Lord our God, be merciful to us, Your image, and save your servant [name of person/s] from every threat or harm from the evil one, and protect him/her by raising him/her above all evil. We ask You this through the intercession of our Most Blessed, glorious Lady, Mary ever Virgin, Mother of God, of the most splendid archangels and all Your saints. Amen!

3. Prayer for Deliverance

My Lord, you are all powerful, you are God, you are Father. We beg you through the intercession and help of the archangels Michael, Raphael and Gabriel, for the deliverance of our brothers and sisters who are enslaved by the evil one. All saints of Heaven, come to our aid.

From anxiety, sadness and obsessions, we beg You. Free us, O Lord. From hatred, fornication, envy, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From thoughts of jealousy, rage, and death, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every thought of suicide and abortion, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every form of sinful sexuality, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

From every division in our family, and every harmful friendship, we beg You, Free us, O Lord. From every sort of spell, malefic, witchcraft, and every form of the occult, we beg You, Free us, O Lord.

Lord, You Who said, “I leave you peace, My peace I give you,” grant that, through the intercession of the Virgin Mary, we may be liberated from every evil spell and enjoy your peace always. In the name of Christ, our Lord. Amen.

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