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+1 vote
I've suffered with depression for the past 10 years, lived an insular existence and didn't really have any purpose. Then I managed to turn things around for myself, and even ended up seeing someone I cared very deeply for. But in the end she left.

This has thrown me back to those really dark, really lonely days when I had nothing to live for. Some days I think I just miss her, other days it feels more like a relapse. Maybe it's both.

I can't find whatever strength I had before to get through this. I've lost whatever it was that kept me going (I struggle to see positives, every day is crushing, sad and lonely) and now I'm not sure I can live without her. The connection I made with her was the first of its kind. I feel like giving up.
Country: United Kingdom

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7 Answers

+1 vote
Profile Photo by kelseymckenna (170 points)   1
Please contact someone - maybe a therapist, especially if you've suffered with it for a decade. If you've already contacted a therapist, then we need to consider something else.

The feeling of loss is terrible, but your point about having nothing to live for is actually quite straightforward to solve!

FIND something to live for. If you are at the point where you feel like "giving up", then you should do something radical to change up your life. It's hard to explain, but you probably have something in the back of your head that you've wanted to do all your life. Well - try it! For example, I always wanted to sit in a park listening to "The Dark Side of the Moon" during the middle of the night. It might sound crazy, but I really wanted to do it. A few weeks ago, I finally did it - I forced myself to overcome any fears or inhibitions, and I did it. I felt free, and I felt happy.

Please realise that "giving up" is not the option. Don't even consider it as an option. Doing ANYTHING else, such as changing your job, taking up a radical activity/hobby, becoming a different person, is better than "giving up".

I hope this message helps you :)
0 votes

I just wanted to point out something. You are an amazing human being.

"I managed to turn things around for myself." You have an incredible strength within you.

I was in the same boat and had to do the same. My friends left me after using me. My parents don't know love, no comfort, only this pessimistic outlook on life. (Dad always taught me that I was worthless and my life would get worse.) I proved him wrong and keep doing so day to day.

You can turn things around for yourself and keep going even with this hate filled world. I know it takes a lot of strength and passage through struggles but you have it in you.

Please keep moving forward.
0 votes
please don't get like me, go for a walk when its pouring rain, lie down in an empty car park, scream really loudly, put all your good feelings in a box and keep them, and when you need to see them, theyre there, theres good and bad in all of us, and theres always someone there for you, no matter how much it might seem like there isnt
+1 vote
I understand you completely I too have suffered depression , then found someone  who I thought completely understood me . They too left . I fell hard  and relapsed but got back up on my feet . But you need to live for you  we cant depend on others to keep us happy . Everyone disappoints one another , we are all human .  That connection you felt with her was because you let her in , I assure you if you let someone else in though it will take time to build up trust you will feel again . Be positive and open to love  . I know the feeling of have no purpose it was only until i had my daughter that I felt I had a reason to continue, I am
A single mum my daughters father has nothing to do with us but I dont blame him we were never a couple. Just sad he has chosen to not be part of his girls life , but it is more of a reason to flood her with more love.
. I found also when down if you can try help someone else with there problems it helps to see a different perspective on your problems and at times you forget how bad they are, helps you to also see the beauty we are surrounded in .
My advice maybe go sit in a park near nature close your eyes focus on breathing and then listen to the trees rattling there leaves or the birds whistling try relax your body and mind . Then then open your eyes and smile at the first person you see . Or try do something nice for someone  after you  have relaxed .

Please dont give up because someone has broken your heart we have the capacity to love more then one person . She maybe of hurt you but time heals and the wound begins to seal . And you will find new love till you find the one who will be your only one . There are new beginnings that await you.

If you want to chat i have kik adgie0321
+1 vote
Profile Photo by paul (430 points)   1
Hi Lee,
As to your relationship with the lady in question - well, in my experience, relationships come and go. I have mourned the passing of women in my life, sometimes in retrospect. The passage of time can give you a unique insight into what they have brought to you. Often you are better off without certain people in your life; other times it's a case of the timing being wrong, individual circumstances not aligning.
However, you cannot live for somebody else. You must find your purpose in life and fulfill it. It can be a long and difficult journey but one that is ultimately satisfying as you learn more about yourself and others around you. Take what you are good at and work on it, grow in confidence as a worthy contributor to society (because you are!). When you concentrate on growth in yourself, you will find that you can easily give help to others; people will be drawn to you and it will help to build your stature and you will continue to help yourself and others - and so on!
We all need each other for love, help and support - but one woman alone will not give you that! It's a group effort. What you will find though, if you focus on your personal growth, that women will eventually find you! And in amongst those women, will be the one who you can commit to and who will COMMIT TO YOU!
We have to make our happy-ever-afters,

God bless you in your endeavours,
Paul (UK)
0 votes
It's really hard - I know the feeling as I've also been lonely, depressed and thought of ending it all a few times. Lucky I haven't had the "drive" to hurt myself. That's when I rediscovered that inner strength that kept me going. I also read self-help books and in my case, I turned my attention back to the spiritual side of things.
This may sound like cliche but hang in there - let the storm pass and  soon you'll see that there's a sense in all these. As they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
0 votes
Hi I'm female that's 28 in uk I feel depressed to I've lost a lot of close people and ones that made me happy but I meet people and some just invade my privacy and ask questions to get up to my doorstep . I'd like to be with someone I could relate to like a young boy that like to light the candles and hold my hands tight and say he never end. But I'm single . Sorry to hear yours story

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