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Profile Photo by helpmefindme (120 points)   1 1
I just feel like I am completely unlovable.  I don't know what it is about me that attracts men who play games and lie.  The last man I was with was considerably older than me.  He made me feel like I finally found the man of my dreams.  He made me feel like it was okay to be myself and I felt like a better person when I was with him.  He said he loves me, was in love with me, and wanted to build a future together.  We talked about everything imaginable and our time together meant the world to me and him.  I felt like I made him feel better than anybody else ever has, like we had a very genuinely special connection.  If I had to describe him in one word, it would be "amazing".  Well, I got pregnant and when I told him he got really angry because he said he was too old to be a new father, though he was planning to ask me to take our relationship to the next level.  At that point, I told myself that the last seven months were not real and everything he said & felt was a lie.  How do people do that?  How do men just decide not to be a part of their child's life and just decide that they have the authority to break another person's heart?  I was so in love with him... I still love him, but I would never fall for the lies again.  I made peace with the fact that I will be alone forever because I am simply unlovable and because men are all the same.  In my opinion men are incapable of having feelings, hurt women at every opportunity, play games, lie, cheat, and love to break hearts.  It is a shame that my girls will never have a positive male role model.  Most days I am positive, smiling, and happy with my choice to grow old alone.  On the other hand, there are also days where I just have a breakdown, can't stop crying & feel extremely hopeless, and I just want to feel loved more than anything.

Thank you in advance for your time!
Country: US
    

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2 Answers

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Profile Photo by Jones ANGEL14K+ (15.6k points)   3 7 24
aw man, there's not much worse that having your foundations rocked like that. being in a position where you felt so secure and in love and looking forward to the future, to having that crumble is a tough one - but, a situation from which you will bounce back.
Us humans are incredibly resilient and yes, short term, you're going to feel lost and question what is wrong with you? i'll tell you that - nothing!
ok, so he turned out to be an A-hole, but you have a beautiful child and a blank canvas to start again with.
please don't think that all men are like that !!! they are not! believe it or not, there are as many men out there who crave nothing more that a simple, loving, caring relationship.

good things happen to good people and I get a pretty strong indication that youre a good person, so just keep doing what youre doing, every day you'll get a tiny bit stronger and back up to full speed again with a big smile on your face. what happens in the future? who knows, but i'd very much like you to let me know! please do keep in touch on here if you'd like to. there are some great people on here who can send you e-hugs, and who doesn't like a good internet e-hug??!!

take care
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Hello dear, i feel like these men that you select are really not who is worth your time. If they dont treasure you for who you are then you dont need them. Another thig what i noticed from your letter that you throw yourself with love but in return you get nothing. What about you start with yourself and start loving yourself. Im sure your an amazing women and  you have very unique qualities that someone special will not be taking you for granted. Respect yourselve and always know that you will eventually find a right man for you. But as i mention earlier, if you dont love yourself then you will always be finding these  men who would be taking adventage of your vulnerability. Be carefull of who you choose next time because you dont want to think that you are unlovable instead people who you dated in the past were uncapable to give it to you.
Good luck to you and remember that you are amazing woman who needs to start loving yourself  and treat yourself with love before you can share it with someone special and who would not take you for granted.

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